to think that children pestering adults for food is bad manners?

[vladthedisorganised]

Have posted about this on another thread but it is annoying me a bit.
DD and I walk home from school past a local park. It's a reasonable walk (we don't have a car) so when I go to collect her from school, I usually bring her something to eat on the way back.

There's a fair amount of children that come up to other parents asking for a snack, as well as their own. This gets awkward when we then see them again in the local park - many have been driven there while we've walked - and I'll be ambushed again by more children as we go past. The parents appear to bring something for their own children to eat, but this doesn't seem sufficient - particularly when other DCs are mooching the food in question.

What gets me is that I'm very firm with DD that she shouldn't be bugging other parents for food; but it is getting hard when she can see that no other parent seems to object to their DCs doing this. (Swapping is OK, though I'm considering curtailing this too) Other parents might possibly insist that their DC says thank you for the unreciprocated snack, but most tell their DCs to 'see if minivlad will share'.

AIBU to think that it's bad manners to pester for food? If I gave every child a snack that asked for one (or two or three or four) then I'd spend a bloody fortune - playdates are already really expensive with DCs demanding snacks all the time during the walk home!

With the exception of an ice cream in summer, I've never seen children eating while walking down the road!

I also can't believe the amount of people talking about biscuits at the school gates and packets of crisps for the walk home. Of course people are saying no wonder we have an obesity epidemic!

There's two friends me and DD playdate with and they don't go anywhere without a little rucksack full of "snacks", crisps, chocolates etc and what I can't understand is how much it eats into their playing time. They may as well be called scoffdates because up until the bag of rubbish has been produced the children will have been happily playing and running around, won't even have asked for anything but as soon as the dreaded bag comes out all they want to do is sit and munch! There's no need for it!

An apple or something yeah grand if essential but bloody hell this thread alone speaks volumes about what our children are consuming.

MrsD, I can't help but feel a little sad at children walking TO school with a bag of crisps.
It makes me wonder if it's their breakfast.. It could be a snack of course, or the first thing grabbed if running late, but it's the same few children everyday
Maybe I'm hoiking my judgypants too high, but still...

Well yes I know most people aren't ill but also, it's so inconsequential. Mine are slim and healthy and run home and climb trees. We are lucky to have such a nice journey home from school. Most parents at the school give a snack, the ones that have a walk anyway, most wait until they're away from the school a bit though, so once people have set off. It all seems to work fine. I had no idea that this would be such a massive problem for some people, it's quite a surprise.

Other social convention examples.

I am walking down street with a group of friends after a meal, have a packet of mints, they are my mints, no one else ever seems to have mints, I still offer them around.

At home, eating a late lunch of sandwiches, crisps and fruit. Friends arrive unexpectedly, they have eaten their lunch some hours earlier. It is my lunch but I would still offer some of mine, or put it away until they left.

Go to cinema, buy popcorn, friend chooses not to. I offer to share my popcorn.

i blame the supermarkets and the advertising, all these little bags of snacks.

I used to save some of my dinner money so I could buy a Double Decker on the way home from secondary school. Every day.

Like a stick, I was.

I think many parents are confusing hunger with greed. Young children are notoriously greedy. Unless they are diabetic or have a medical issue they do not 'need' a snack to enable them to walk home, unless it's a very long tiring walk. Most walks home are under 40mins so the idea child might feel faint and irritable from low blood sugar is ridiculous. If they eat a good lunch with complex carbs they should be sustained at least 4 hours by it. If they're not finishing their lunch, maybe being a bit hungry on the walk home would encourage them to finish it next time.

Providing an instant snack as soon as they leave school encourages child to think they 'need' it. Why on earth can't they have snack at home, where they can sit down with it, focus on it and chew properly, instead of cramming it into mouth while talking, walking or running?

Kids who never walk home until they've had a snack are likely to become the type of adults who constantly graze on the run, or keep stopping for snacks when they are out, who fear their blood sugar will plummet if they don't eat every couple of hours. UK is already in grip of an obesity crisis, surely feeding kids on demand is not helping this?

I'd be mortified if my DSC scrounged food from others, but equally I wouldn't give them food to eat in front of others on way home, since there is no real need, and it's irritating for other parents (who don't give snacks on the move) if their kids feel like the odd ones out. At DSC school it's fortunately not the norm to feed snacks walking home.

I had a snack after school
I was thin
I never eat while walking and really don't like to eat unless sitting either, I like a proper seat and a table
I don't really understand adults who go around eating and drinking
I don't snack, at work this is a source of never-ending fascination for my biscuit -wielding colleagues

However
My children were hungry after school when they were little. We have a pretty decent walk, which is made longer by the running around with friends and the stopping to climb trees.
So, I gave them a snack.

This does not mean my children are fat, lazy, likely to grow up to be selfish, obese individuals who are all about instant gratification and all the rest of it.

A 4 yo having bit of cheese after school is not going to "ruin them" and it won't become true no matter how much people like to say it.

I agree eating while walking along is silly and must be bad for digestion.

Can you eat the snack before leaving school on a bench or picnic table first?

But what is going to happen, if a child is a bit hungry when they come out of school and they do not eat something straight away?

I get it if they are going on to some other activity, swimming or not going straight home. I also understand having a snack on you prevents needing to buy expensive treats while you are out.

I just don't get this DC must eat as soon as I meet them, everyday. I honestly believe mums are displaying some form of separation anxiety that they need in some way to feed their DC to show they are nurturing them as soon as they are back in their presence. DC may not have obesity issues yet, but it teaches them inappropriate emotional connections with food.

You are lucky your children finished their lunches.
Some children don't
They are hungry

So maybe they don't finish their lunch precisely because they know Mum will be waiting for them at 3 with a tasty snack? As has been pointed out, a properly nutritious lunch should give children easily enough energy for four hours. It's not as if they're running around the entire afternoon every day.

You're making a lot of random assumptions there.

I would say a half hour walk that extends to an hour due to running around and tree climbing counts as "doing something after school" personally.

Separation anxiety? Don't be so silly.

It sounds like you have some issues yourself TBH. Giving a young child some food when they are hungry is less likely to cause them food issues than denying them food when they are hungry because of arbitrary rules set by someone on the internet.

DD has a small appetite. A sandwich (one of those 'thins' things), a Frube and a satsuma will fill her at the time. She is also keen to get out to play Bulldogs, tag or football as she does every lunchtime. Eating gets in the way of fun.

3 and a half hours later, 40 mins of which is PE and 45 mins of which is netball or hockey she is starving mum. I am quite happy for her to munch a banana or a flapjack on the walk home - not matter what the judgemental 'perfect' types might think. Thankfully what I do with my child is no-one else's business and people should look elsewhere for their sneering fodder.

I love food threads. Take a snack, dont take a snack who cares. But.... they need it to get them home rofl

We didn't used to drink water so much either - I actually can't imagine how I coped without a bottle of water on a walk now, as I need one! Actually need one, as in my throat starts to stick together like velcro if I don't drink water on a walk. OF course I used to take one out when I was hillwalking all day, we all did - but not on a routine walk or journey to school, university or work. Now I always have one with me.

I don't snack much though. Nor do my boys. But other friends' children do - and I'm totally with Whirlpool on this - why make life harder? Friends' children are high energy, high maintenance and do need that extra bit of sustenance before their walk home or they are really difficult all the way. One of them in particular gets "hangry" - it's just not a battle she needs to face on a daily basis when the resolution is so simple!

But I don't think anyone has said that, have they?

Quite a lot of people have said that their children are hungry after school and so giving them a snack makes the journey home a lot more pleasant all round.

Some people have said that giving your child a snack after school makes you a terrible, clingy, ignorant parent, and that your child will grow up to be a fat, lazy, selfish bastard, with eating disorders, and no moral fibre, that's if they aren't one already (aged 4).

That was in response to toby's!

www.stophungernow.org/learn/hunger-facts/

To snack or not snack. It is a First World problem, but is certainly not hunger.

45% of child deaths in 2011 were related to malnutrition, none of which happened on the way home from school in the UK.

I don't give my children snacks ici
But they don't finish all their lunch.
My daughter doesn't because she us a but anxious in the dinner Hall.
My son, because he wants to play football!

On a day to day basis, it factors as a very low concern of mine :)

I'd go so far as to say that we should be giving them a snack/maybe a drink?
If they haven't eaten since noon, perfect gap! :)

WTF @ silver.

Children are becoming ill through malnutrition in the UK, as it goes. Poor quality, cheap foods are making people ill. There are people who don't have enough to eat. That'd be some of the children you are sneering at, I imagine. Or are malnourished children only an issue if they're "over there" >>>> somewhere.

link

I think dismissing the reality of child poverty in the UK is a really shit move to try and "win" an argument about whether or not it's OK to give a 4yo an apple after school TBH.

I agree Whirl, child hunger caused by poverty in the UK and other rich nations is something we should all hang her heads in shame over.

I was making the point that "hunger" was a bad term to use around snacking on the way home from school.