AIBU to tell my 11 year old that Father Christmas didn't exist?

[Bombinate]

I thought she had some idea, and I thought she should know before she goes to secondary school. She had no idea, and cried when I told her( I told her very gently). I feel terrible, was i being unreasonable?

I was about 11 when my mum told me. I think I kind of knew but it was still a bit upsetting. It was absolutely the right thing for her to do and I'm very grateful I didn't make a roaring arse of myself at secondary school. You were quite right

My dd had a friend who still believed in Santa and the Easter bunny a few weeks before secondary school, Dd was truly baffled by this but the girls mum used to ask all us parents to make sure our dds didn't spill about it not being real to her dd because she was 'sensitive'

She was fucking sensitive because she'd never had to deal with anything in her life!!! They literally cushioned her from EVERYTHING even lying about death etc

I'm surprised that she hasn't worked it out already. You've done her a favour.

It's April people. Not even the weirdest people are thinking of Christmas now. If op's 11 year old is there's a lot more to be worried about in that house.

I've been thinking about Christmas for a number of reasons Laza.

I like to spread my yuletide misery throughout the year.

And now the OP's made you think about it too, y'fucking weirdo

in a general term. Regardless of this thread. Do kids really talk about it at school? I was probably very odd. But it wasn't really a thing we sat chatting about at school. Would it even come up? I find it hard to believe even children believe it tbh, let alone sit around talking about it. Altho i do concede i was a strange child and have no experience of children at all. (FC is one of my worries with my dc - i have absolutely no idea how to deal with it!)

Yeah when they talk about what they've got 'my auntie got me some trainers, my cousin got me a t-shirt, and I got a bike off Santa'

We, and a number of friends, haven't "done santa". It's not a problem, MrsKoala.

I am the biggest Christmas and Santa fan and have really pushed the whole Santa thing with my three. My eldest (13) obviously hasn't believed for a few years. She was about 10 when she begged me for the truth, and I gave it to her. She was relieved to know.
As is typical with younger siblings, especially girls, they grow up a bit quicker. So my 8 1/2 year old asked me for the truth just last week. In the past, I had always denied his non existence, but there comes a time when they genuinely want to know, and you get the feeling you can no longer string it along. So now my 8 1/2 year old knows and is really disappointed. Did I do the wrong thing in telling her? I really thought she wanted to know for sure! However, despite her insistence, I'm not sure she did deep down, and perhaps I ought to have delayed telling her until a bit older

Again it's April - if you're kids are worried about Christmas ?? - you need to speak to them!

And at least my youngest, aged 5, still believes. Phew! I'll be gutted when not one person in the house believes

I'm sorry, this is rude but that letter is just awful. Have you got a spare bucket Disappointed?

Again it's April - if your kids are worried about Christmas ?? - you need to speak to them!

I know! Typical of my child to bring it up at a totally random time of year

agentzigzag I've a Christmas eve birthday so I'm gonna move out of this stupidness

My DDs never believed. I did all the stuff, carrots and mince pies at the fireplace etc, but they just knew. They humoured me for a few years but basically stopped at about 6. I would have been happy carrying on the lie for a bit longer, but they just never believed in the first place. Not remotely sure why. Ditto the tooth fairy. I guess it didn't make sense, and they both think quite logically unfortunately. Think you've done the right thing though OP.

If she asked I always said 'when you stop believing in Santa he stops coming' ...which is the truth if you think about it.
I told DD1 when she asked (again) the Christmas before she started secondary for the very reasons that OP did. I kept it up for as long as I did because of younger DCs...and not really trusting her to not give it away by accident (I have a 6 yr age gap so DD2 was still little).
She was a little upset because she wanted to believe -even though she suspected the truth...I am sure DD2 (8) is not going to believe for anywhere near as long. Mainly cos I won't keep it up as long and DD1 drops hints - just a week ago she asked me if I thought Santa (Wink) could come early this year and bring me her a new pair of shoes ..

'when you stop believing in Santa he stops coming' ...which is the truth if you think about it.

There's nothing truthful about santa!

Crikey, a Christmas thread in April!!

My three had all ceased believing well before secondary school age. However, they still like to pretend to believe in the run-up to Christmas and on Christmas morning.

I just leave it at that.

Where's that bucket got to? Pass it this way please! I've just read that letter up-thread. Oh dear me!

Nobody has told me that Santa doesn't exist, and I have grandchildren old enough to be at University!

YANBU.
if you didn't tell her she'd be ripped apart in school fairly soonish i'd say.

I am cringing at that letter!!

'when you stop believing in Santa he stops coming' ...which is the truth if you think about it
No. It isn't the truth at all.He never came so can he stop?
I think this is a rather disturbing, mildly threatening r thing to tell a child.' When they start questioning, it is time to come clean.

I wanted to tell her when it wasn't near Christmas, and I realised I did need to do it before September. She's seemed to be quite grown up recently so I thought she couldn't possibly still believe it.