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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

how to respond to this text - involves "play date" and boys in dress up

126 replies

HighwayDragon · 24/04/2015 18:45

So I had a text from a friend today (she's a school run mum so not actually friends more friendly) asking me to pick up her ds (4) as there was some sort of emergency at work. No problems, he's been here before and she's had dd over before. Playdate was fine, fed him a light tea, him and dd decided to play dress up, he put on fairy wings and tutu.

She came to pick him up, thanked me. Then he walks down the stairs dressed as a fairy. Her face instantly sours, she says 'ds you KNOW they're girls clothes, take them off and get your shoes' I wad Hmm but didn't say anything. Me and mum make stilted small talk, they leave.

I've just had a text "hey thanks for having x after school ur a lifesaver. but i wasnt happy to see him in a skirt! next time he comes over can u make sure he only wears boy dress up sure you understand xx" Shock Shock Shock

Help me reply, because I'm still scooping up my jaw!

OP posts:
TeWiSavesTheDay · 24/04/2015 18:58

I would say "sorry, but no I don't really understand. I don't believe in boy/girl dress up so any child can choose whatever they want at my house."

ilovesooty · 24/04/2015 18:58

You did her a favour and she was rude. I'd ignore it and not be in any hurry to accommodate her again.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/04/2015 18:59

"There won't be a next time you crazy gender stereotyping homophobic fuck arse"

Koalafications · 24/04/2015 19:02

"You're welcome. Sorry, really wouldn't have thought it would have been an issue for DS to play dress up freely. Have a good weekend, see you next week :-)"

AccidentallyInLove · 24/04/2015 19:04

Bloody hell. Poor thing. I'd just ignore it too. My DD loves hulk and Spider-Man so I got her some tops with them on. The comments I get are ridiculous, they are the narrow minded ones though.

Ratfinkandbobo · 24/04/2015 19:05

What next time?? Grin

foreverdepressed · 24/04/2015 19:05

Wow that is depressing. He is 4 FFS he can dress up in anything he wants surely. In fact at any age what is wrong with a fairy fancy dress.

I would just ignore.

Sagethyme · 24/04/2015 19:07

"I thought being a fairy suited him, but would you prefer i didnt put the photos on facebook Grin " she'll probably never ask you to have her ds back for tea...job done!

OurGlass · 24/04/2015 19:07

I would be suck a dick back to that text.

Mehitabel6 · 24/04/2015 19:07

Just ignore.

If he does come again just tell her first that you don't interfere with their games.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 24/04/2015 19:07

I'd text back, 'terribly sorry, apologies', then take her ds again at the first opportunity.

I wouldn't return him until he resembled Dame Edna Everidge.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2015 19:07

Or send this. Iggy Pop.

elQuintoConyo · 24/04/2015 19:08

Grin Grin LaurieFairyCake

I have unfortunately farted loudly at a quiet moment in a softplay at that (weak pelvic floor) Blush

londonrach · 24/04/2015 19:09

Should i worry that 40 years plus my uncle walked around with a handbag. Maybe should tell his wife and children. Think best response is next time? As mentioned by another mntter! 4 years old. Dm (or maybe df) has major issues! Remember op this isnt about their son but them!

Original poster
HighwayDragon · 24/04/2015 19:09

It wasn't the 'next time' bit that bothered me, maybe it should have.

Maybe next time I'll give him sparkling shoes and tiara too Grin

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 24/04/2015 19:09

I wouldn't respond at all. Stony silence all the way.

oddfodd · 24/04/2015 19:09

Probably best if there isn't a next find then!

oddfodd · 24/04/2015 19:10

Find = time

Blasted autocorrect

TwoOddSocks · 24/04/2015 19:10

I'd say exactly what MrsTerryPratchett . If they're 4 then presumably they're not under constant supervision and you can't be expected to take time out of your day to police what he wears. It's very cheeky of her to make these kind of demands when you're doing her a favour.

(I'd put to one side the face that she's even bothered by this in the first place, yes it's stupid and I feel sorry for the son but you probably won't change her mind unfortunately Sad).

VelvetRose · 24/04/2015 19:10

I think I'd have to say that you don't police the kids around the dressing up box because I absolutely wouldn't be prepared to tell him he what he can and can't wear next time poor kid. Not that she'd send him round to mine, 2 lesbian mums would probably be too risky!!

Goalie · 24/04/2015 19:10

Just as well you didn't arrive 10 mins earlier, when he was wearing lip gloss, nail varnish and baking fairy cakes.

ovumahead · 24/04/2015 19:13

coffeethrow's response is the best I reckon. Just keep inviting him over and glam him up!

She sounds horribly uptight, I feel sorry for her and her son. I wonder why she's like that? Maybe her husband secretly dresses up in her clothes or something...

possumbird · 24/04/2015 19:14

Tell her he was wearing a tutu as they were pretending to do Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake

lunalelle · 24/04/2015 19:14

Oh, dear. My son wanted to learn ballet and took lessons from age 2 to 8. I kept getting asked if I was worried it would 'make him gay'.

Fortunately, my son is very confident, and I always gave a very firm 'no, and it doesn't matter if he were to be gay in any case'. I strongly suggest a very dry answer like yellowdaisies suggests. I feel it is really important to stand up to these stereotypes.

MissDuke · 24/04/2015 19:14

Surely if you don't like something someone does when helping you out, you just don't ask again? Complaining like that is rude and ungrateful.