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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be more embarrassed of my DP's behaviour in public than my DS's?

152 replies

DancingQueen79 · 24/04/2015 16:39

My DP never seems to be bothered of what people think of him when he's out and about. He just gets up to his usual ways of causing mischief and mayhem, whilst I'm often left cringing.....AIBU? A few examples of what he gets up to when we're out and about:

  • trying to 'net me' and getting the fishing net stuck on my head which we were buying for the garden pond (whilst in the queue to pay for it)
  • when he's had enough of waiting for me to finish looking in a clothes shop, he'll come into the shop and physically carry me out of it (just picture a fireman's lift in a branch of Karen Millen)
  • another shopping related one - coming into the shop to enquire if anyone had seen a 'vacant blonde' anywhere and then waiting until someone pointed me out
  • makes 'interesting and perhaps not entirely politically correct' faces whilst at the supermarket checkout, as well as doing overly competitive packing
  • If he ever feels like I've told him off, he'll stick out his bottom lip and walk around like that for at least 10 minutes - no matter where we are!

Whilst he's definitely fun to be around, does anyone else have this problem with their other half??

AIBU to be embarrassed??

(I could've added more examples, but these were the immediate ones which sprang to mind this week)

OP posts:
Original poster
DancingQueen79 · 24/04/2015 17:12

Just to clarify his faces are in no way 'racist', it's more of a gormless look he adopts. He only does it in good humour, he's not an offensive person at all and would be mortified if he really did upset anyone.

Also the fireman's lift was only once - I'd never have let that happen twice!! Don't worry he does 'let me' go back into the shop too.

He doesn't wear novelty ties or cufflinks, or have a sign over his desk. He's very serious at work all week, which is probably why I get his inner-child at the weekend and pleased to say he is perfect in every other way.

OP posts:
Sbear22 · 24/04/2015 17:15

I am howling with laughter op I am sorry! I would be mortified if it was happening to me though, so I see why you feel embarrassed. Still bloody hilarious stuff though!!! Seems I'm very immature Grin

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 24/04/2015 17:15

I know he's your Husband and you love him .................but he's a twat and I would be kicking him into touch if my dh ever did or said any of those things to me.

MagicMojito · 24/04/2015 17:16

Blush I found most of that really quite funny tbh.

I think he actually sounds quite fun to be around but if you dont like it, you dont like it! Different strokes and all that...

diddl · 24/04/2015 17:17

"Don't worry he does 'let me' go back into the shop too."

Wow, that's big of him!

But why did he feel the need to carry you out in the first place?

Did he think that you would find it funny?

Did he want to give strangers a laugh/humiliate you?

sunbathe · 24/04/2015 17:18

Does he rex, too?

WhereYouLeftIt · 24/04/2015 17:20

He sounds a total dick. Fireman's lift? So disrespectful.

expatinscotland · 24/04/2015 17:21

'He's very serious at work all week, which is probably why I get his inner-child at the weekend and pleased to say he is perfect in every other way.'

Sounds like you're made for each other then. Why post if you think he's so special? His inner-child sounds like a dickhead.

They are not married, Still.

Jackie0 · 24/04/2015 17:21

Yanbu, I'd be embarrassed too, and pretty angry and upset truth be told.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2015 17:23

If he is deliberately putting on the expression of someone with sN he will definitely offend someone eventually.

avocadotoast · 24/04/2015 17:23

He sounds like a dick. I'd be out of there.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2015 17:23

We all know that face some people make.

WorraLiberty · 24/04/2015 17:25

makes 'interesting and perhaps not entirely politically correct' faces

Just to clarify his faces are in no way 'racist', it's more of a gormless look he adopts

Are you saying he tries to mimick someone with special needs?

Otherwise I'm not getting what you mean by 'not entirely politically correct'?

DishwasherDogs · 24/04/2015 17:26

God he sounds awful!

SolidGoldBrass · 24/04/2015 17:26

Hmm. While I would get fed up with this sort of thing very quickly, sometimes wankiness 'childlike humour' is appealing to someone who's madly in love (sorry, I just had to go and be sick out of the window).

But I was just wondering: does he also tell funny stories about 'stupid' things you or other family members have done? Does he play the sort of practical jokes that are destructive, humiliating or cause physical pain?

And what does happen if you play a prank or say something funny-but-insulting to him? Because there's a bit of a difference between the kind of look-at-me zany, wacky, exuberant sort of bloke who's a bit of a prat but basically good-hearted, and the one whose jokes and tricks are all about putting other people down and making them look silly in a way that's quite distressing - basically bullying in a way that can be not just passed off but compounded by telling the unhappy butt of the joke that s/he has no sense of humour and is boring/uptight/whiny.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2015 17:26

I have a friend like this. He's wonderful. I love him. His DW used to think it was hilarious. Then one of their DC and her had some quite serious health issues and he just couldn't turn off the idiocy. I can tell that she now finds him tiresome and feels she is carrying all the responsibility.

If your DH can step up when times are hard and you don't mind the horrible misogyny that the 'vacant blonde' and carrying you stuff is carry on.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/04/2015 17:27

Yes I think she is saying that.

Well hope I never see him doing that in a queue. Would make my day brighter. Not.

TheCowThatLaughs · 24/04/2015 17:27

I'd LTB just for the face. What a wanker to take the piss out of people with SN. He sounds excruciatingly boring too.

DishwasherDogs · 24/04/2015 17:28

Just because the faces he makes aren't racist doesn't mean that they're not very offensive.
How old is he? Sounds like he seriously needs to grow up.

SoldierBear · 24/04/2015 17:28

I am sorry but all of the behaviour you describe is offensive.
Why does he feel the need to humiliate you in public repeatedly?
These "gormless" face sound like he thinks it is amusing to pretend he has some form of SN needs. That is super offensive.
Your description of his behaviour is of an immature, offensive boor who has to be the centre of attention

Pollyswall · 24/04/2015 17:28

OP, you're backtracking and defending him. I think you like it really.

molyholy · 24/04/2015 17:29

I think OP was looking for responses of 'hahaha he sounds hilarious. I wish my dh was like him'. Unfortunately it has backfired, hence the updated post of how wonderful he is really.

NoelHeadbands · 24/04/2015 17:29

A 'gormless look'

Nice.

What a prick.

LeftyLucy · 24/04/2015 17:30

Atrociously disrespectful behavior wrapped in the guise of 'comedy'. Not funny. I don't usually comment on this kind of thread but I find this really off. It's like 'Can't you take a joke, love?' x 100.

teawamutu · 24/04/2015 17:36

Sorry, I know you say you love him and all but he does sound like a complete dick. So YANBU to be embarrassed by him acting that way, and YANBU to live with it if that's what you find funny - but be warned, what you find charming and 'inner child' is going to be viewed by miserable gimmers like me as 'outer twat'.

Also, my DH would have been told after exactly ONE attempt to humiliate me in public (calling me vacant, carrying me out of a store) that he'd used his one and only chance.

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