Comments on my daughter

[poppyseedhead]

These are the comments I have had in the past month,

From my Mum, "She is too big now" "She right on the cusp of being overweight"

From my sister " She is alot bigger than when I last saw her" "she has back fat"

From fellow parent in the park "she's massive" "she's so tall"

I am literally shocked by these comments, I just bought her new jeans from new look, fits nicely into size 12 jeans.

She is 5ft 8 1/2.

I don't understand where the comments come from, I don't have anyone to ask if its normal to expect these comments.

I would love to hear from anyone who has received unreasonable comments, and good ideas how to answer.

Oops she is nearly 15.

Does she have back fat?

Not to my mind, She isn't skinny but wears size 12 new look, and is a healthy weight according to the NHS Bmi calculator.

I imagine at size 12 and 5'8 1/2 I bet she has a fabulous figure.
Feck em, and feck em again.

Does she have back fat? I became overweight at that age. My mum thought I looked healthy so I thought all was well. But actually looking back at photos I was overweight and the comments of 'you e put on weight you can see it in your face' were true. I just genuinely hadn't noticed and my mum still thinks I wasn't overweight.

Thanks ATerribleBeauty

They are probably just shocked that she is a grown up woman size now iyswim and not a child.

I think I would say 'do you mean to be so rude?' and make sure they don't make any insensitive comments to your dd, could really affect her confidence.

Oh 5ft 8!!! And size 12, surly she can't be overweight?!

A Size 12, for her height and age sounds absolutely fine to me! Does she generally eat a healthy diet (notwithstanding the odd expected teen takeaway) and does she take part in regular exercise? If so, then nothing to worry about.

Closer - how helpful is your comment?

I'd make it clear that comments about body size won't be tolerated. Are they trying to give her a complex?

However, being a size 12 at 15 would be on the cusp of being overweight in my family. All the girls on my side and dh's side of the family were around size 6 to 10 at around the age of 15. Does she get enough exercise? If so, and as long as she eats reasonably healthily then she sounds fine to me.

I think peoples perceptions are skewed as to what is fat and what is normal.

A size 12 probably is a larger size for a lot of teens. I have 2 teen sons, one is 17 and the other is 13 and I'd say the friends that are girls are all significantly smaller than a 12. Again though I doubt that many are 5'8.

if shes in the healthy scale on the nhs guidelines and not verging on overweight then I wouldn't worry. Does she exercise/play sports etc?

A lot of teenagers grow up before they grow out and stay what would be, for an adult, underweight until 16, 17 or even older.

But not all are like this and just because your daughter has a normal adult figure by her mid teens does not mean she is overweight at all.

I would check her bmi if you're worried but otherwise just ignore the comments. And I would be very clear with your family that they are not to breathe a word to your daughter - very dangerous age to be insinuating that a girl is fat.

Very hard to tell without seeing her.
With her age, l think she'd still have some 'baby fat' about the place. :)
Is she likely to grow anymore? Are you tall?
A modern twelve indicates she isn't rail thin... Even at 5 8". Sounds like she is just fine though.
I can't understand why people feel the need to poke their noses in. Especially about other people's children.

The size and height are fine and the nhs bmi calculator has confirmed she is fine.

OP already said her BMI was within the "healthy" range. OP, I'd be furious with people for making those kinds of remarks to your daughter.

Bloody nora how rude of your family tel them to bugger off . Right enough my weight obsessed mother said to my dd when she said her shorts from las year didnt fit mother said oh you been on the biscuits her shorts last year are an 8

Also bit of an aside, generally irked by people who go so far in the "we are too accepting of obesity these days! It's been normalized!" direction that they start getting all "it's a bit ... borderline obese, IYKWIM , BUT I'M ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT THE OBESITY EPIDEMIC AND HOW YOU'LL DIE YOUNG FROM YOUR VAST BULK" about, eg, a size 12, and where only a size 10 or smaller is "healthy".

I was size 12 at fifteen as were many of my mates. God damn me for being such a fatty and not being a size 8

labels are irrelevant, no standards at all. Using labels is a STUPID way to define weight or BMI. What does she weigh? Is it roughly in the right range for her height?

also horrified at all these randoms and relatives making rude comments.

she's not Tess Munster!

She sounds fine to me.

But I wonder if she could do with a proper bra fitting. An ill-fitting bra can cause all sorts of overspill which can make the wearer look fatter than they really are.
thebetterbracampaign.blogspot.co.uk/p/fitting-advice.html

If she really is a healthy weight, then it's probably just surprise that she's so tall at a young age.

I'm 5ft meself and I would be raising my eyebrows inside. I wouldn't be rude tho. Hopefully.

The expectations are so high, from all directions, keeping a daughter relaxed and comfortable in her own skin, is a major challenge.

I was a size 12 at 15. Well a 10 on the bottom 14 top so averaged a 12, I am 5ft 8 so approx the same height as your daughter. I think I was around 10stone at the time, a perfectly healthy weight. At 15 chances are she has pretty much stopped growing, I don't see a problem.

I was a size 12 at 15/16, 5ft7 and a BMI of just over 21. As she's even taller than I am, I'd find it hard to believe she's in danger of being overweight.

Haven't rtft but I hope they aren't saying this in front of her! If so, it is completely out of order. This sort of thing does too much harm. If she's healthy has a healthy bmi, reasonably active, I would be telling them to sod off.