To announce pregnancy in this situation?

[wispywoo1]

OK so a little background info. My sister was trying for a baby for a lengthy time and then got a serious illness/condition which has further effected her fertility. She is due to start IVF over the next few months. Sister does not come across as desperate for a baby or like she'd be affected by other having babies etc but I doubt this is how she feels deep down.

I'm currently 9+4 weeks pregnant and was going to tell parents at the weekend (10 weeks, previous mc). We planned it being this weekend weeks ago. Dsis has now arranged a family meal on Saturday to celebrate her recovery.

I don't want to upset her but I do think she will be happy. I just cannot grantee it. Would it be insensitive to announce it this weekend? We have no problem with waiting. Would be nice to do it with family around though. I'm so worried about her reaction which she probably would keep to herself bottled up.

Ask her. Tell her first and ask if she's ok for you to announce.

Can you tell her first?

I would wait until after the meal, tell her separately without an audience.

I have been that person struggling to conceive when people announce their pregnancy and it is very emotional.

Congratulations

Maybe mention it to her first but we warned she might be upset to start with. X

I think it would be awful for her if you announced it at the meal.

I agree talk to her first , even if she agrees happily it will give her time to keep her composure If the news does upset her.
Congratulations

Would you consider giving her a heads up about it first? I think announcing it in front of a group of people where there's no opportunity for her to digest the information in her own time/space could be a little insensitive.

I think I'd leave it on this occasion and wait a couple of weeks and let the focus stay on your sisters celebration.

Let her have her meal to celebrate her recovery (otherwise it will become something else i.e about your pregnancy).

Push your announcement back a week.

Congratulations.

It would be insensitive. The meal is about celebrating her recovery. Don't take that away from her. You can announce your pregnancy another time.

Please tell her first. She may well be very upset.

The meal on Saturday is your sister's celebration of her recovery and she has invited the family to celebrate it with her.
It' s a day about her.
Whatever you do , do not make it a day about you, which it most definitely will be if you make a pregnancy announcement.
Leave it another week.

Agree with telling her without the audience.
However you may find she's okay as this will be here niece or nephew. Aside from your own child. You can't get any closer.
Congratulations.

agree with patience - let her have her moment. you may have chosen this weekend but no one else knows that

even if she had an army of kids and didn't want anymore I still think it would be insensitive to make the announcement at the lunch

I agree with the PP, let the focus of this be your sisters recovery celebration & arrange to tell everyone another time.
I've seen threads on MN complaining about pregnancy announcements 'stealing the thunder' of other occasions enough times to suggest to tread lightly on this one.

Ah crossed posts, I see I'm not alone.

Yes. I would wait, too. Wait til 12 weeks, perfect timing really, as your sister gets her day in the sun, as it were.

Tell her first. JackieO is right, this is a day about her that will become a day about you.

Tell family a week later, for her sake. You will never understand the pain unless you've been through it.

I found it very difficult to hear news of pregnancies when we were trying, as much as I was pleased for people. I would have found the announcement at the meal difficult and (being very honest) I might well have been very upset or annoyed that you'd chosen a public situation where I was and not given me chance to digest it first. I was raw, sad and angry (with no one, and most especially not with pregnant people), and my emotions were bubbling very near the surface. Tell her first. I certainly wouldn't make a grand announcement either, just tell folks when chatting after the meal. But don't, whatever you do, feel that you shouldn't be joyful, or (beyond normal tact) spoil your enjoyment of your pregnancy by walking on eggshells.

Congratulations OP. I think this meal out is your sister's celebration so I wouldn't make yourself centre of attention. Hopefully she'll be happy for you but I think it would be a rare person who wouldn't feel slightly ambivalent in the circumstances and I'd tell her in private to let her deal with her emotions rather than force her to put on a brave face at a family do.

I would say wait, let her have her day and announce afterwards.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I can't believe you're actually thinking about announcing this at your sisters get together. This is meant to be all about her not you. And your news will drive home the sore point of her fertility even more. It would be awful to mention it. Even speaking to her beforehand is a bad idea, let her have her moment without anything on her mind.

I would leave it and let your sister enjoy her weekend to celebrate her own recovery.

I'd probably tell her about the baby before I told my parents in this situation, so that she can process the news and then help plan another get together when you could share and celebrate your own news.

Congratulations

Gosh, read it properly. Not at the meal. It definitely would be all about you not her and you will enjoy it better telling on a different occasion.

When we were struggling to conceive my best friend fell pregnant. She took me out for lunch, on my own to tell me, instead of announcing it to our whole group of friends. I've always really appreciated that as she gave me time to digest it rather than springing it on me while in a group.