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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to tell someone you do not want them coming on holiday with you?

128 replies

BingBong36 · 21/04/2015 14:48

My husband just called me to say that his friend asked where we are going on holiday and could they join us with his wife and children.

We are going away for 2 weeks to a all inc resort in Spain.

Here is the problem, I do not particularly gel with the wife, and the thought of spending two weeks with her fills me with dread.

If told my husband this and he got the hump with me saying he would like them to come.

I can see it now, husband and mate propping up the bar while I listen to the wife talk about herself (she does this ALOT).

So my husband has told me to txt the wife saying we would rather go on our own.

How do I txt her this without sounding like an utter Biatch???

Please help me word it nicely.

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
BingBong36 · 21/04/2015 15:57

Sorry! Twice a year!!

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 21/04/2015 16:05

Just because you went away with your friends doesnt mean you 'owe him one' for this holiday!
Sounds like he was more than happy to go on holiday with your friends but it doesnt sound the same this time, you hardly see this woman and he knows you are not close.
I wouldnt bring it up with him tonight, if he brings it up then whatever argument follows is on him not you, he needs to sort it out.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/04/2015 16:08

Yes I certainly would text or phone the husband and tell him your having a Holiday just your family as you have not had one in a while. Your h sounds big of a knob, does he not want to have a family Holiday, especially if it's the first one in a few years.

GoEasyPudding · 21/04/2015 16:09

Take the lead on saying no with your phone to DH's friend. Take charge of this so you know its been said and you know its been dealt with.

Maybe say,

...nice idea but we can't do a friends holiday this year I'm afraid as we haven't had a holiday for such a long time. Hope you guys are enjoying this super weather, take care, Bing B66 xx

Charlesroi · 21/04/2015 16:09

The thing is - he agreed to go away with your mates. You are not agreeing to go away with his mate (the woman is not your mate, and you don't enjoy her company for more than 30 minutes).
If it all kicks off (and it would chez nous) then just say that if he wants a boozy lads holiday to take it on his own and you'll get the money back. You and the kids can visit your friends while he's away. Think this may turn into a bit of a poker game, but if the family are spending that much then I think you should all enjoy it (rather than blowing a load of cash doing the same old shit in nicer weather)

ollieplimsoles · 21/04/2015 16:13

And the kids too- if he spends the whole time drinking with this guy while you are left with the wife, wont the kids be disappointed that they dont have proper holiday time with their dad?

They deserve a nice family holiday alone too!

Original poster
BingBong36 · 21/04/2015 16:16

Thanks all, I've drafted a txt to the wife but bit yet got bottle to press send.

Hi wife, hope you are enjoying the lovely weather! Yoir husband mentioned to my husband about coming on holiday with us, as we haven't had a holiday in two years we really wanted some quality family time together, hope you understand. Let's get together soon x

OP posts:
PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 21/04/2015 16:18

Press send! Press send!

And if she says 'Oh we'll give you lots of time together, don't worry!' or anything like that then reply 'That is kind of you but this year it really needs to be just us, sorry xxx'.

hidingfromthem · 21/04/2015 16:23

send that.
it sounds fine.

you husband deserves a good kick in the hole.

ollieplimsoles · 21/04/2015 16:23

send it! Thats a lovely message, apologetic and everything, she can't say no

and if she does (which I dont think she will) use guidelines from pp!

Imagine if she texts back with no idea what you are talking about and shes furious with her DH too?

Grapejuicerocks · 21/04/2015 16:23

Press send. At least you can then relax, otherwise you'll be all stressed waiting for him to do it.

hidingfromthem · 21/04/2015 16:24

leave out the 'lets get together soon' though.
if you don't like her, you are under no obligation to spend time with her.

BabyGanoush · 21/04/2015 16:26

Stay strong OP

TenerifeSea · 21/04/2015 16:26

Press send! Do it! This is your family holiday at stake. Your husband is a knob by the way, he should be doing this.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/04/2015 16:27

Yes send. She is not your friend, does not sound like you particularly like her. I bloody well would.

ollieplimsoles · 21/04/2015 16:27

Yes your DH is a total D-BAG

Original poster
BingBong36 · 21/04/2015 16:27

I'm going to wait until I get home to see if my husband has already txt otherwise I will.

I bet he won't of done....

Of fuck it I'll send it now

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 21/04/2015 16:29

Do it!

you said hes crap at saying no to people, even if he has said something it might not be as firm as your text and still not be resolved properly!

OhGiveItARest · 21/04/2015 16:30

Perfect. Send it.

PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 21/04/2015 16:32

SEND IT NOW
SEND IT NOW
SEND IT NOW
SEND IT NOW
SEND IT NOW
SEND IT NOW
SEND IT NOW

PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 21/04/2015 16:33
Grapejuicerocks · 21/04/2015 16:36

Have you done it?

Original poster
BingBong36 · 21/04/2015 16:40

Done it!!!

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 21/04/2015 16:41

Yeeeeees good one.

PlumpingThePartTimeMother · 21/04/2015 16:45

Yay!

Now brace yourself for all of them being peeved. Not your problem though!

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