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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To know my baby is crying and not need it pointing out to me

82 replies

Totality22 · 20/04/2015 13:42

DD is a screamer and she hates her pram.... it can make things like shopping a bit of an ordeal.

However sometimes I have no alternative to get the shopping and suck up the fact baby is crying.

AIBU to not want other people to make comment? It's usually old women and it's usually "she's hungry love" she isn't or "she needs to be picked up" or my favourite "oh listen to the poor little thing"..... like I let her cry because I like the sound of it!!!!

If I hear a crying baby I'd never feel the need to make comment. Or if I did it would be to offer sympathy!!

OP posts:

MaddingCrowd · 20/04/2015 13:44

YANBU x 1000

Sirzy · 20/04/2015 13:44

No people shouldn't comment.

For your own sanity though have you tried thinks like slings to see if she is happier then?

BarbarianMum · 20/04/2015 13:46

People are just trying to show you some sympathy, honest. Yes, many can be ham fisted about it but almost all the comments you get will be kindly meant.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/04/2015 13:47

Yanbu. just wait til dc 2+ you can't jump at every cry that split second. might need to, you know, pay for some shopping or find a suitable place. or go get your bus before your stuck there another half an hour unable to do anything.

let's all just drop our shopping mid aisle and pick up the baby who's only issue is she's bored

shakemysilliesout · 20/04/2015 13:50

Yanbu

GlitzAndGigglesx · 20/04/2015 13:51

It can be annoying but most just mean well. I remember being in tesco with dd when she was a few weeks old and very windy and had about 3 women point out she's probably windy

Original poster

Totality22 · 20/04/2015 13:55

She does prefer sling but I also have a toddler on a buggy board. Also sling isn't practical for shopping as I can't carry much.

Am debating moving her out of carry cot part of pram even though she is only 3 months [is that too young to be in sitty uppy part of pram? It's a Bugaboo Chameleon]

OP posts:

juniorcakeoff · 20/04/2015 13:57

YANBU op. Sling is not always the answer. I have just gone round the supermarket with my DS in a sling and pushing trolley. It was okay 1 month ago. Today he writhed and kicked me every time I stopped moving. It damn near broke my back leaning down to put stuff like washing powder into the trolley with him in the sling. Trying to load the conveyor belt thing and pack shopping at the other end was a nightmare having to lean past/over him and prevent his chubby hands from getting stuff.

I am going to have a month of pain before the boy is strong enough to sit up properly in the trolley seat. He despises the baby seats which lean back.

When one of mine was 3 weeks I nearly cursed someone who kept suggesting he was hungry and needed to be fed. I had been feeding the little sod for about 2 hours before I legged it to the supermarket in desperation to buy lansinoh, breastpads and a breast pump. He had quite literally been fed 5 mins ago. He just hated life. Clearly the woman was trying to help but its been a long time since I felt that much hate for another human being

LauraChant · 20/04/2015 13:58

I completely sympathise. Both mine were screamers. I remember pushing DS2 through Stratford shopping centre when he was about 6 weeks old as he screamed his angry little head off. A woman said to me "is there something wrong with that baby??!!" I felt like saying "I've been sticking pins in him, is that wrong?"

I mean what kind of answer was she looking for? What if there actually was something wrong with him? I asked her if she had children herself and if she felt that would have been a helpful thing for her to hear, she claimed she wouldn't have minded.

With DS1 I used to time trips so he would be asleep as he screamed whenever awake, basically, but DS2 had to fit in with when we needed to go out.

NickiFury · 20/04/2015 14:00

I remember once trying to find a place to sit and feed ds and was just telling ex H where I would go and where he could meet me after ds had been fed when a woman, not elderly, said in a really judgemental tone "your baby is crying, you need to do something!" I was so upset, it was just so unnecessary. Why should I explain my arrangements to some random in the street? It's just such a crap thing to say and do to someone you've literally passed in the street and can have no clue what kind of parent they are.

HuggleBear · 20/04/2015 14:04

I get this too. DS is 12 weeks and hates his pushchair/ car seat. I have him in the sling 99.9% of the time but have used the pushchair a handful of times as my back isn't great. Always screams and I can guarantee that at least a couple of old dears will comment. They only mean well and have always been very nice although they probably think I am awful for ignoring him (really not very PSB!).

HuggleBear · 20/04/2015 14:07

laura

GingerCuddleMonster · 20/04/2015 14:08

Reason #22 to hate other people, unhelpful comments.

I once had a your son is crying comment, I replied very sarcastically "really, I hadn't noticed" after 4months of sleep deprivation and a child who was going through a Velcro stage. it was the kindest reply I could muster. DP backed away slowly from the situation.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 20/04/2015 14:08

Try rolling a muslin cloth up and popping it under the mattress of the carrycot to v slightly prop it up..rather then in the bucket seat

GlitzAndGigglesx · 20/04/2015 14:09

It's even worse when they ask you what's wrong like a 3 month old is gonna pipe up with "I dunno mum I just fancy a cry"

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 20/04/2015 14:10

Or try a foam bat wedge under it

seaoflove · 20/04/2015 14:10

YANBU at all.

My DD took against the pram at ten months and carried on screaming bloody murder when we were out for AGES. It nearly drove me to the brink.

And I could have cheerfully punched every person who suggested a sling. I had a sling, but I was physically incapable of going far when she was in it. She was heavy, my pelvis was (and still is) knackered, and how was I supposed to carry the change bag AND the groceries I needed to buy? So it had to be the pram.

Angelto5 · 20/04/2015 14:11

I remember when my dc4 was crying because she was hungry while I was in the queue to pay for my shopping when a charming man (late 40's I'd guess) said "you should give that baby a dummy-I'm a grandad to x many kids". To which I replied she is hungry & I will feed her as soon as I can & I'm the mother of 4 children & she's not having a dummy!

Also my dc3 hated his pram even if he was full to bursting of breast milk!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 20/04/2015 14:12

You can't win either way. Someone asked me if my baby was still alive because she was too quiet. She was asleep

Trouble is, there's no test to stop the divs being allowed out in public and/or wiring their mouths closed.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 20/04/2015 14:13

Is the foam bat for applying to the ears of those who offer useless and unsolicited criticisms of new parents? In a vigorous fashion one supposes.

DisappointedOne · 20/04/2015 14:16

This is why internet shopping was invented. ;)

HuggleBear · 20/04/2015 14:36

See DS will usually sleep really well in a sling but it does get embarrassing when he wakes up, squalks to make everyone aware he is there (and look at him) and proceeds to try and extract milk from me by a combination of grunting loudly, shouting, head butting my chest and his absolute favorite..... Shoving his face on my chest ( in between boobs if he can) and making a slurping noise and he sucks at my skin.

On the plus side, nobody comments on that!

Original poster

Totality22 · 20/04/2015 14:41

I do an online shope every few weeks for heavy stuff but I like to go out and buy my meat and fresh stuffs (have had too much shit delivered over the years with limited use by dates!!)

OP posts:

Yokohamajojo · 20/04/2015 14:42

My youngest DS was exactly like that and I did move him to the seating part of my bugaboo chameleon as it is ergonomical and can be put back to lying position. It did help and he was much happier! I say try it

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 20/04/2015 14:45

at HuggleBear

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