Page 2 | To know my baby is crying and not need it pointing out to me

Totality22 · 2015-04-20T12:42:31+00:00

DD is a screamer and she hates her pram.... it can make things like shopping a bit of an ordeal. However sometimes I have no alternative to get the shopping and suck up the fact baby is crying. AIBU to not want other people to make comment? It's usually old women and it's usually "she's hungry love" --she isn't-- or "she needs to be picked up" or my favourite "oh listen to the poor little thing"..... like I let her cry because I like the sound of it!!!! If I hear a crying baby I'd never feel the need to make comment. Or if I did it would be to offer sympathy!!

RevoltingPeasant · 20/04/2015 14:46

My favourite one was "it's got a pain", pronounced by the woman in the queue behind me at the Boots prescription counter.

No, "it" - or even she - hasn't - and even if she had, from the fact that we're in a queue at the pharmacy you might reasonably assume I was doing something about it!

Grrr.

Most people are lovely though. In the interests of balance.

katiegeee · 20/04/2015 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

figginz · 20/04/2015 14:48

OP I have a different pram to you but moved dd into the sit up bit a month ago at 3 months old. Made a world of difference and she now sleeps in it - life is so much better.

Oh and YADNBU.

RevoltingPeasant · 20/04/2015 14:48

Katie I hoped you replied "yes he sure is - I hope you don't want that finger back!"

RevoltingPeasant · 20/04/2015 14:50

Can I totally hijack to ask when you are supposed to move them to the sitty up bit? We have a secondhand pram so no instructions.

DD is 3mo this week but her head control is a little wobbly still and she can't sit independently without being propped up.

ollieplimsoles · 20/04/2015 14:54

YANBU op,

People like that should just quietly get on with their own business!

If I'm shopping alone for a few things and waiting in a Q for a til, I politely ask if the lady with a trolly full of shopping and a screaming child would like to go before me, the same in Q for bus etc... something that might actually HELP, not a useless comment that just adds more stress!

HuggleBear · 20/04/2015 14:56

katie I don't even know what to say to that! I would be angry at that.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 20/04/2015 14:57

YANBU I had someone in the queue at the shops say "poor little thing he's hungry" well shall I feed him in the queue or pay and do it 5 minutes after?
As mine was premature I also had a lot of "he's too small to be out" well the experts think he's fine to be out and I'm not sitting in the house for months on end. One of these helpful advice was when I was on the way to his medical appointment anyway - he needs to attend in person. Idiots.

NickiFury · 20/04/2015 14:59

I don't think I would be responsible for my actions if someone stuck their grubby finger in my baby's mouth .

MissRainbowBrite · 20/04/2015 15:08

DD detested lying flat with a passion and screamed almost every time she went in her carrycot, I tried all the tricks like wedging the mattress up but she still cried so at just over 16 weeks went into the seat part but with it reclined. She was like a different baby and actually enjoyed trips out, we had an icandy Apple.

Original poster

Totality22 · 20/04/2015 15:23

I will give the sitty uppy bit of the pram a try - and yep it does fully recline.

Baby has good head control and has a bit of time in her Bumbo now.

Oddly she loves to lay out on the floor at home and she sleeps OK (we co-sleep) so its not laying flat per se.

To the poster that doesn't have the instructions, I would Google the make of pram and see what is recommended.

OP posts:

Original poster

Totality22 · 20/04/2015 15:26

Eeeeekkkkk to the poor lady that had a stranger stick their fingers in babies mouth!

I'd be doing a prison stretch if someone did that to my baby slight exaggeration but it does make me very angry

OP posts:

willbillycome · 20/04/2015 15:32

hugglebear
My dd was like that, she also had a great knack for locating the nipple of anyone holding her and giving it a go through their tshirt.

She used to scream so much when I did the shopping they would open a till for me, unload/load my shopping and as speedily as possible usher me out the door, so had some plus points I guess

TeddyBee · 20/04/2015 15:36

Oh yeah, I had a stinky old drunk git stick his finger in my PFB's mouth and then say "it's ok love, I'm a grandad". I nearly passed out with rage. All of mine hate the pram, but were better with the seat on a recline, even before good head control. DD2 loathes the reclining trolley seats, always howls, always gets loads of comment which I blank out, but I could have kissed the nice lady in Tesco (member of staff) who asked if it was ok to pick her up and then jiggled her about in her arms while I packed and paid. Such a god send. I wish she was there every week!

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 20/04/2015 15:40

YANBU! DS would always pull his socks off in the pram and one day I had the rage with about the fifteenth person who pointed this out to me. I pretty much yelled 'Yes I know!' at her - we live in a warm country anyway, it wasn't like he was going to freeze. Wish busybodies would just butt out and keep their (unwanted, patronising, unhelpful) comments to themselves...

funkyfoam · 20/04/2015 15:45

As long as peoples tone of voice is not critical I think most comments are trying to show empathy and sympathy. That's the way I took it when my children were young. However I will make sure I keep my mouth shut whenever I am near a baby now.

MagelanicClouds · 20/04/2015 15:46

My D's hated the baby seats in trolleys, would scream with a passion. I got dirty looks and comments to the point where I wanted to get him a t-shirt that read: -
I am a collicky baby who hates shopping. I was fed right before we left.
I would stop and cuddle him every couple of aisles in the supermarket but it just seemed to make it worse.
I met a nice assistant in Sainsburys though, unpacked and scanned everything so I could keep cuddling. Wrote her a truly glowing customer comment card as I'd been getting the point if nearly taking a swing at people.
He's better now he can sit upright in the trolley.

Why on earth would someone think it's OK to stick their finger in the mouth of a baby who they don't know? Why???? That's actually worse than unsolicited bump contact!

MagelanicClouds · 20/04/2015 15:46

My D's hated the baby seats in trolleys, would scream with a passion. I got dirty looks and comments to the point where I wanted to get him a t-shirt that read: -
I am a collicky baby who hates shopping. I was fed right before we left.
I would stop and cuddle him every couple of aisles in the supermarket but it just seemed to make it worse.
I met a nice assistant in Sainsburys though, unpacked and scanned everything so I could keep cuddling. Wrote her a truly glowing customer comment card as I'd been getting the point if nearly taking a swing at people.
He's better now he can sit upright in the trolley.

Why on earth would someone think it's OK to stick their finger in the mouth of a baby who they don't know? Why???? That's actually worse than unsolicited bump contact!

MagelanicClouds · 20/04/2015 15:47

Stupid tablet. Sorry.

mmgirish · 20/04/2015 15:51

YANBU. This used to happen to me all the time too!

IrianofWay · 20/04/2015 15:55

It's better than saying 'FFS please could you silence that child!' which is what it is sometimes tempting to say when you are stuck next to loudly wailing child in a queue, or when they seem to be following you around all the aisles in a supermarket with malice aforethought! I don't say anything but give the parents sympathetic looks. I think more often than not people just want to say something to show they are sympathetic to you and/or the baby rather than glare or sigh.

I remember the utter mortification of being responsible for screaming baby in a crowded public place, and the sense of helplessness as there was nothing I could do short of feed them (again). Horrrible. Bit it passes - I haven't had to go shopping with my children for about 10 years now - DS2 who is now 12 sometimes comes but that is because he likes it and never howls.

Artandco · 20/04/2015 16:00

For those finding baby heavy and in the way in a sling on front, move them onto your back. There is a reason women in Africa having to lug 5 litres of water always carry the babies on their back, it means they aren't in the way when you bend down

TracyBarlow · 20/04/2015 16:05

I've had 3 pram haters. Can you put the toddler in the bugaboo seat and sling the baby? That's what I do with my 3month old and my 2 year old.

proceeding · 20/04/2015 16:15

Oh God I remember AGONISING over the fact that I put DD1 into the buggy bit of a Cameleon when she was only 23 weeks old!!!

Can't remember with DD2 but it was a damn sight earlier than that. DD2 has a cry that would shatter glass and has had it since she arrived in the world. I am so glad she wasn't my first as it actually would have broken me. The universe gave her to me second with good reason.

Put her in the sitty uppy bit, worry not, and tell everyone else to sod off. Have you a cosy toes for the cameleon? Honestly, they're so padded in that thing they might as well be in the pram.

RabbitSaysWoof · 20/04/2015 16:17

Oh god you are so much NBU at all. Other people were the most stressful part of having a baby for me. I'm really fucking glad everyone enjoys their parenthood experiences so much, but do they really need to carry on parenting by proxy every time they pass a pram?