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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To know my baby is crying and not need it pointing out to me

82 replies

Totality22 · 20/04/2015 13:42

DD is a screamer and she hates her pram.... it can make things like shopping a bit of an ordeal.

However sometimes I have no alternative to get the shopping and suck up the fact baby is crying.

AIBU to not want other people to make comment? It's usually old women and it's usually "she's hungry love" she isn't or "she needs to be picked up" or my favourite "oh listen to the poor little thing"..... like I let her cry because I like the sound of it!!!!

If I hear a crying baby I'd never feel the need to make comment. Or if I did it would be to offer sympathy!!

OP posts:
proceeding · 20/04/2015 16:19

Oh but just another idea...would your toddler still go in the buggy? Then you have them in the buggy, DD in the sling and you still have a "trolley."

Just an idea - not useful all the time but might help for shopping.

That said DD1, who's about to turn three, would look at me like I'd lost what little is left of my mind if I suggested the buggy for her.

toomuchtooold · 20/04/2015 16:19

wibbly I came on to say exactly the same re sock pulling. Or hats, gloves, basically any removable clothing. What can you do, keep stopping every 5m to put back on the clothing that the baby is clearly not feeling the lack of?

Last time it happened to us was in Jan, me and the ladies out with the buggy, big jackets in and buggy cosytoes in but no hat. Codger at the tram stop was like, shouldn't those children be wearing hats? Trying to be lighthearted comment I was like "we're Scottish, we don't feel the cold" but he backed off like I'd just told him where to stick it. Well what did you expect old man, did you think I'd been looking after them for 3 years and it never once occurred to me to buy them some hats?

thatsnotmyusername · 20/04/2015 16:38

toomuchtooold - yes!

last summer was oout with my 10 month old...very sunny day, covered in sun cream, shade up, but would not keep the sun hat on for anything.

Lady on bench 'she should have a sun hat on you know' me deathstare gesturing at hat baby is currently sat mauling 'should i superglue it to her head??!!'

not my finest moment but arghhhh i am sick of people telling my they have should have socks on/hats on etc...

toomuchtooold · 20/04/2015 17:49

You wonder where they get these model kids who you plank a hat on them and they just leave it there. Maybe they were fooled by their own kids - my mum used to festoon me with knitwear in the morning before school and as soon as I was out of sight it would go into the schoolboy and stay there until my return Grin

OurGlass · 20/04/2015 17:50

Put my baby at 8 weeks into the seat unit of the Cameleon, on the Middle setting so he was slightly tilted. It stopped all the whinging!

DisappointedOne · 20/04/2015 18:24

Baby has good head control and has a bit of time in her Bumbo now.

Please ditch the bumbo.

LauraMipsum · 20/04/2015 18:27

Wow MovingOn that takes tactless to a whole new level.

I had a stranger literally follow me round Tesco when DD was about 3mo repeatedly trying to give me things to "feed" my supposedly hungry baby. I did tell her the baby wasn't old enough for food and had just been fed, and tried not to be rude to her because I think she might have had some sort of learning disability but it turned into some sort of cross between a Carry On film and the Hunger Games, every time I thought I'd shaken her off, she'd appear from between the shelves brandishing packets of carrots and breadsticks, or popping out with a jar of peach slices. Of course I wasn't too hard to track because of the siren call of a bored and grumpy baby Grin

Harvey246 · 20/04/2015 20:45

YANBU any stranger who passes judgement on your parenting decisions especially based on a five second interaction deserves a slap. I once had a 60 year old man give me 'a tip' when I was out walking with my baby in the sling that 'babies sleep better in cars'. Thumbs up to you mate!!!

TheBookofRuth · 20/04/2015 20:47

I used to get this with DD. Eventually just took to giving them a blank look and asking "what baby?"

chickenfuckingpox · 20/04/2015 20:54

i told one lady if she wasn't careful she would end up babysitting my screaming child Grin

ive also answered what screaming?

MrsBojingles · 20/04/2015 21:52

YANBU. I was terrified to go out for a while when DD was really suffering with reflux. I couldn't take the stares at the baby groups either.

trufflesnout · 20/04/2015 21:55

Totality what about taking the pram and the sling? Have DD in the sling, toddler on the pram attachment thingy and shopping in the pram like a trolley, rather than carrying it?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 20/04/2015 21:57

Ynbu. I hate comment passers or cp's as I like to call them!
Now we've all inwardly rolled our eyes when we've heard a baby screeching. Not going to pretend I've never thought. I wish that kid would be quite, I'm human, and you do tire of screeeching especially if you've been in work all day,but thinking something is one thing. Saying it is another thing entirely.

DartmoorDoughnut · 20/04/2015 22:04

Huggle my DS does the exact same thing! How the feck do they make such a loud slurping noise?! Blush

DixieNormas · 20/04/2015 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalicoBlue · 20/04/2015 22:18

I have told friends who are expecting their first to be prepared for strangers to have some advice or comment to give you about your baby. No one comes up to you to say your make up is too heavy, your skirt too tight, you must be hot in all those clothes/ cold with no hat on etc. They will when you have a baby it is a free for all.

I remember in M&S, it is always hot so I took DS hat and coat off. Then to be told by strangers that my DS was under dressed for the winter and must be cold, not in the shop he wasn't!!!!

mewkins · 20/04/2015 22:25

Urgh, baby is 10 mo and gets bored in his buggy so whinges, screams etc. I get all sorts of comments. Why can't people just ignore it? I can quite happily ignore all other babies and children if I am not responsible for them. No, he is not hungry.

squidgyapple · 20/04/2015 22:31

one of mine hated the pram - she wanted to see out! I put her in a pushchair from 3 months, it made life easier.

and yes - the comments pee'd me off.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 21/04/2015 20:26

My dd decided she hated her pram, I couldn't understand why she started screaming when we went out, I soon realised it was because she couldn't see anything and wanted to sit up, so I transferred her to her pushchair suitable from birth when she was 5 months and she was happy is Larry.

Kezben123 · 21/04/2015 20:39

We have the bugaboo chameleon our son started to cry at 3months everytime he was put in the carrycot so we changed to the normal pram (he was about 13weeks) although we mainly have this bit reclined flat, he prefers it as he can see more of what's going on & he can see me better on our walks

MrsFooCough · 21/04/2015 21:23

YANBU at all.
For some very complicated reasons my 91yo grandmother lives with us (us being me, DH, 11mo DD, DDog, DMum and DDad) and EVERY SINGLE SODDING TIME DD cries I unfailingly hear the shuffle of 91yo feet and sure enough shortly hear "she wants something to chew" or "I'll get her something to chew".
MY BABY IS NOT CONSTANTLY TEETHING, GRANDMA! STOP IT!
However she's not herself (whispers dementia) so I can't really complain. Well, I can complain but I can't tell her to STFU and GTFO like I really want to when DD's in one of her charming screamathons.

DeeWe · 21/04/2015 22:34

I had a (looking back) funny experience with dd2 once. She was wearing her prosthesis in the buggy aged about 8 months and was screaming because she was hungry, so I was dashing across town to get to the baby feeding area (why are they all at one end of town!).
I got stopped by someone and told "I think your baby has broken their arm". I didn't really think about it, and just said rather stroppily that she was just hungry, and rushed off.
Of course when I got to the baby area I found her prosthesis was bent round so it looked like her arm was bent back on itself the wrong way.
Surprised they didn't call the police on the neglectful mother!

Comments don't stop though. Also with dd2 I was once stopped for her aged about 2yo to be told did I know she had her coat on backwards. Considering that every button including the top one was done up correctly, I think I'd have struggled to do that behind my back, let alone a 2yo who couldn't do a button up on her front.

But dd1 loved her hats, and almost never took them off-she used to ask for them. Dd2 I had a bonnet that could be tied on in such a way she could never get it off though. Grin

StupidBloodyKindle · 21/04/2015 22:47

OP, can I join in the majority hollering YANBU?
I have the same problem...but with bare feet.
My youngest takes off boots, trainers, sandals, slippers, socks in ten seconds flat. Tights fettle him but make him inconsolable and he will stretch them out til they would fit the 60foot woman.

I know he has bare feet. I am not blind.
But I will guarantee, whatever the weather, whether inside or out, someone will comment on it. Can grit my teeth for the first few times (in between wrestling them on again) but after that it's open season.

You have my deepest sympathy.

CheerfulYank · 22/04/2015 07:15

I remember an older woman hissing "that baby needs a hat!" at me with DC1 once.

We were indoors. Confused

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