To know my baby is crying and not need it pointing out to me

[Totality22]

DD is a screamer and she hates her pram.... it can make things like shopping a bit of an ordeal.

However sometimes I have no alternative to get the shopping and suck up the fact baby is crying.

AIBU to not want other people to make comment? It's usually old women and it's usually "she's hungry love" she isn't or "she needs to be picked up" or my favourite "oh listen to the poor little thing"..... like I let her cry because I like the sound of it!!!!

If I hear a crying baby I'd never feel the need to make comment. Or if I did it would be to offer sympathy!!

YANBU, OP, quite clearly. They're ridiculous. I've stopped counting the number of random people who've berated me in the street for underdressing DD - including one woman who told me that DD should be wearing socks, when she was in fact wearing socks (only flesh coloured). One particularly obnoxious guy actually had the cheek to start arguing with me when I replied that I preferred to leave DD coatless as we were just about to board the plane and she hated her coat.

I've found trying to defend my actions by explaining the rationale doesn't work 'cause they're muppets. The best seems to just say something like 'Everyone seems to have an opinion on how I parent my child these days, but I've found this works best for her', with a really disapproving look on your face. They are not trying to be helpful. They are being judgemental. Turn the disapproval back on them.

Good luck OP. Don't let them get to you.

I think a bit of an eyebrow raise is fair enough when parents completely ignore the screaming baby/toddler, just tune it out and expect people not to be bothered, even in a confined space.

If a parent is clearly trying not to drive everyone within earshot to distraction and the baby/toddler isn't having it, well that's another thing entirely. It's about consideration for other people. Same goes for ignoring bad behaviour in children (looking at you, woman on the 21 bus in Brighton this morning) - not okay to ignore it when it's annoying everyone else!

YANBU x 1,000,000

"poor little thing's hungry" - FU*K OFF

My parents resound like this too. Whenever they come round to the house, if DD emits a yelp, they stand there, mouths agog, that I don't immediately put her on the breast.

YADNBU

When DD was born exH and I lived with his parents. Separate "granny flat" but still the same house IYSWIM. EVERY time the baby cried someone would appear to let me know - because clearly I can't hear her from right next to her... I never felt like I was doing a good enough job and always felt like I couldn't let her cry for even a moment - it stressed me out if she started up when I was in the toilet or shower - there they would be, right outside the door tell me she was crying - so I would avoid doing either of those things unless exH was home!

Completely did my head in and I think contributed to the massive PND I suffered.

It did however make me much less sensitive to other people's comments when I was out and about with her because I was so used to it... so there's that I suppose!

Not a lot of help for you but thanks for the opportunity to rant!

You have my sympathies, DD was so bad in the pram that I used a sling until she was 1 and even now shopping can be an ordeal. Thing is, I now rely on those type of passerbys to distract her for a few precious seconds at a time. YANBU but it will pass!

My daughter was the same until at least 6 months old. Hated the pram and car seat and could easily scream for up to an hour on car journeys. Ended up putting her in the pushchair bit of pram sooner than recommendef which helped a bit. I was called a 'cruel mother' in tesco twice in the same week when she was a few months old. Think they were being lighthearted but it didn't exactly help when I was dashing round trying to grab what I needed with her screaming away.

YANBU. And you have my sympathy too, shopping is awful, why on earth would a baby enjoy it and why do people think you put yourself in a situation where you know your DC will kick off, do they think you do it for fun?!

My DS hates shopping, he tolerates a quick whizz in and out of one shop now but any more than that and he is off. My friend described his cry as like an air raid siren, or as many people have told me: he's got a good pair of lungs.

As a younger baby he often got too hot, even in very little clothing. This happened on a long journey and he had a meltdown in the car. We stopped at the nearest services (20 minutes later) and I had to do a complete outfit and nappy change with him still screaming blue murder. I had pnd and anxiety and poor DS had an ear infection too (diagnosed the next day) so it was as bad as it could get in terms of upset and nerves. Then, just as I had managed to quieten him down an older lady asked how old he was then said 'oh he doesn't look very happy'. I think I replied 'I know'. That fucking woman nearly broke me, in fact I didn't realise how much it upset me at the time until thinking about it again now.

Hello people, sometimes babies cry, sometimes there's not a lot the parent can do about it at that particular second and sometimes they cannot avoid being in that situation.

Rant over and definitely YANBU.