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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what your best comeback for being wolf-whistled at is?

197 replies

legolegolego · 19/04/2015 20:42

I've recently realised that I walk past groups of rowdy men very sheepishly if they have started doing the whole wolf-whistle thing as I approach.

I'm not attractive so I imagine they are doing out of sarcasm but I've got to the point where I want to be able to walk down the street without worrying that someone is going to comment or whistle. Sometimes I have the children with me and they still do it?!

I want to be one of those strong women who challenges this kind of behaviour - give me some comebacks!

OP posts:
Timeforachangetoday · 20/04/2015 11:19

Slightly overweight leader of the gang: 'Nice tits darling'
Me: 'You too'

riverboat1 · 20/04/2015 11:22

I ignore if it's just a whistle or a comment. But when I am repeatedly instructed to 'smile, darling' or 'say thank you when somebody pays you a compliment' I do feel obliged to look them in thr eye and tell them to fuck off for the sake of my own dignity. It doesn't ever make them look ashamed or say sorry, but I feel better for it.

Wouldn't do this if it was night time or I was in a secluded spot with no other people around though.

GatoradeMeBitch · 20/04/2015 17:00

I agree with bigoldsupermoon. Have your phone out when you're walking past them. If they say anything, raise your phone up as if you're recording. This is not a climate where people can afford to lose their jobs for being arseholes...

JustGiveUpGatekeeper · 20/04/2015 17:13

I suppose you could just give them a big smile and be affable and say something like fellas, you keep embarrassing me by doing that whistling stuff, can we knock it on the head now?

Or just smile and give them a dismissive wave. They could just be trying to cheer everyone up who passes.

I would if it was getting to me this much, because like you I also consider myself unattractive and that if I'm whistled at it must be because they feel sorry for me for being so unattractive.

Dontbugmemalone · 20/04/2015 17:19

Shout Willy, willy, willy at them Grin.

BatonRouge · 20/04/2015 17:49

In my opinion its not about how a woman looks its about power and asserting dominance by the aggressor. Reclaim the streets!

Floisme · 20/04/2015 17:59

It's about controll, not how you look. One advantage of getting older is that no-one bothers doing it to me any more, even though if I say so myself, I'm still perfectly presentable. I'm just not on their radar now and long may it continue Smile

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/04/2015 18:02

It's mostly about showing off in front of their mates.

Patsyandeddie · 20/04/2015 18:40

It's only harmless banter, why are people so touchy! Smile and laugh it off, as for reporting it, get a life!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/04/2015 18:44

It's not harmless if it makes people..for example the OP..feel uncomfortable.

IggyStrop · 20/04/2015 18:50

Doesn't banter go both ways though? It's not someone shouting from a car as they speed off.

legolegolego · 20/04/2015 19:31

Wonder if Patsy works at the end of my street!

OP posts:
BatonRouge · 20/04/2015 19:34

Ha ha Patsy - now run along back to Lads Bible.

CookPassBabtrigde · 20/04/2015 19:47

It's really not harmless banter!
A few years ago I was walking home from hospital after a follow up scan following a missed miscarriage. I was in a really bad place at the time, the whole thing had been pretty traumatic. A bloke walked passed me and said 'Fucking cheer up love, go on smile, it won't hurt you' with a smirk on his face. it really really upset me. What if a woman had just been raped, for example, and got told by a strange bloke 'nice tits love'. You never know what a person is going through and how unsolicited 'banter' might affect them. It's not hard to just not wolf whistle etc, at a woman.

Mrsstarlord · 20/04/2015 19:54

I got woo hooed today by a car full of young men when I was waiting to cross the road. Had a little smile to myself though because in spite of their attempt to be alpha male they sounded unbelievably camp.

When I'm running / walking and get beeped at I just wave

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 20/04/2015 20:06

A woman once passed me and said "Great tits"

I was Shock if it was just a wolf whistle then I wouldn't give a monkeys.

Now Fucking cheer up love, go on smile, it won't hurt you would irritate me beyond measure.

HeyDuggee · 20/04/2015 20:11

Get your camera out and start filming. If they ask what you're doing, say ....I've had enough of this now... the people who live at this house (you know your clients? ) are really nice and they will be mortified to see how are treating their neighbours on a daily basis.

30andtired · 20/04/2015 20:17

I certainly don't see it as harmless. It's harrassment.

I tend to ignore these days but I have a few memories I can share...

I was about 18 and gobby confident and got asked by a lad to "sit on his face" while passing him and his friends near the local shop, I shouted back "why? Your nose is bigger than your c**k is it?"
Still mortified that ever left my mouth but his friends fell about laughing and cheered me!

Another time I was late teens and had a guy come up behind me and bite my bum...I turned around gobsmacked and he just shrugged and said "good enough to eat mmmmm" and skipped off with his friends laughing. I was so shocked I didn't say a word.

Another time I was heavily pregnant and came out of the shops where a much younger boy wolf whistled from his car as he passed and shouted Milf at me. My DP waiting in the car with me...a week later I had a phonecall off my DP saying he had someone with him who wanted to speak to me! Said boy comes on the phone apologising for being disrespectful the week before Blush DP had seen him, confronted him and made him apologise Grin

And lastly I was in the car driving through our town center early evening last week and had teenagers literally banging on the window to me as I was stopped at the zebra crossing. The kids were in the back asking what they were saying and it was frightening for us.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/04/2015 20:19

When I was 17 I literally got whistled at every single day. Which is quite creepy really.

legolegolego · 20/04/2015 20:35

30, your DP sounds amazing! Thanks guys, these stories are making me feel slightly less pathetic for getting het up over this.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 20/04/2015 20:54

justgive do you honestly think they're trying to 'cheer people up'? Wtf? Who made them gatekeepers of random womens happiness? And how would being shouted at by a gang of builder's cheer you up?

timelyreminder · 20/04/2015 21:02

Take their photo and email it to their employer with a complaint.

Sazzle41 · 20/04/2015 21:34

Hmm. When younger & fit: i would smile but say nothing. (introvert/embarrased/flustered). When older i would just smile and not get flustered but not engage (did once, it got lewd/i felt intimidated).

Now, if it was sarcastically done i would ignore then shop the feckers to their boss. Letting them get away with it reinforces thats its ok - to their way of thinking. Most construction companies have really strict policies on this now (friend in recruitment who supplies contractors to all the big commercial builders).

JustAScreenName · 21/04/2015 00:15

Come off it, justgive - trying to "cheer everyone up who passes"? Hmm Everyone, really? Like all those men they're shouting "hiya mate, love your jacket" to? Or is it just us lucky women who get to have our moods lifted by comments on our bodies, clothing, facial expressions and general fuckability score?