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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your best comeback for being wolf-whistled at is?

197 replies

legolegolego · 19/04/2015 20:42

I've recently realised that I walk past groups of rowdy men very sheepishly if they have started doing the whole wolf-whistle thing as I approach.

I'm not attractive so I imagine they are doing out of sarcasm but I've got to the point where I want to be able to walk down the street without worrying that someone is going to comment or whistle. Sometimes I have the children with me and they still do it?!

I want to be one of those strong women who challenges this kind of behaviour - give me some comebacks!

OP posts:
LostMyBaubles · 19/04/2015 22:17

I shout back go home and do that to your mum/sisters.
That normally does the trick

BatonRouge · 19/04/2015 22:28

Without DC - Fuck off!

With DC and comments from builders; 'Do us a favour pal and get back to work',

I am abit bolshy and always shout - why not who the hell do they think they are!

JohnCusacksWife · 19/04/2015 22:29

God, I'd love to be wolf whistled at. That and being asked for ID when I buy alcohol. Those days are gone, sadly, but I live in hope....

HellKitty · 19/04/2015 22:35

I turn around to see who they meant.
It has turned into shouting out of vans/cars season though. I had that last week, no idea what they were shouting. And the other evening me and DP were walking under an underpass, a car drove over with its windows down and lads hanging out, all I heard was DP shouting at them,
'Look at One Direction driving their fucking shit car'.

I'm amazed he doesn't get his head kicked in on a daily basis.

BatonRouge · 19/04/2015 22:35

It is low level sexual harassment and it gets on my wick. The streets/public realm are for everyone to use without unwanted attention from Neanderthals.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 19/04/2015 22:37

Try....

"Have you lost your sheepdog?"

Or even the more direct.....

"Yes, you've got my attention. What do you want?"

I have perfected a rictus grin that's guaranteed to send testiscles scuttling to the safe haven of the offenders groin when gee'd up with "smile" as I pass.

LurcioAgain · 19/04/2015 22:46

I did once successfully manage the divide-and-conquer technique. Back when I was a student, one of a bunch of teenagers shouted "Suck my dick" at me, to which I responded "In your dreams mate!" His mates pissed themselves laughing at him.

Trills · 19/04/2015 22:48

No, it's not alright.

Latara · 19/04/2015 22:54

I don't know how to respond because it never happens to me. I feel invisible when I go out.

SetTheWorldOnFire · 19/04/2015 22:54

Someone shouted 'MILF' at me the other day while I was with DS2 (4), it took me long enough to realise what on earth he'd said that he'd driven past and was long gone before I could find a come back. When I was younger and more prepared, due to this kind of thing happening more frequently, it tended to be 'no, not for you' combined with a kind of Hmm raised eyebrow hard stare.

I can't believe men still do this and I really can't believe any of them don't realise it's totally inappropriate around small children. Idiots. If it's just a couple of builders working on a house, I'd be tempted to send a letter to the homeowner, so they know what they're employing.

Original poster
legolegolego · 19/04/2015 23:01

I might drop a note round. I've been meaning to anyway because the builders leave so much stuff over the pavement which doesn't bother me too much but if anyone with a wheelchair was to come along, I don't know what they would do as the curbs here are so high! But I'm getting off topic...

I had one guy say to me a little while ago in the park 'cracking legs, shame about the kids' - yep that's the way to win me over!

OP posts:
Jellytummys123 · 19/04/2015 23:04

'do I look like a fucking dog?'

In my area it happens allot (to everyone I'm not the prettiest!) so I've learnt this works well.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 19/04/2015 23:06

I used to get that kind of thing. Then I had children, and magically, they rendered me invisible to the naked male builder eye.

IggyStrop · 19/04/2015 23:06

Almost as depressing as this kind of everyday sexism is the fact that some women are so insecure that they actually feel validated by a wolf whistle.

trufflesnout · 19/04/2015 23:19

Wolf whistling or shouting "alright darling" from a van is hardly 'interacting'...

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2015 23:25

'do I look like a fucking dog?'

Surely they would answer 'yes'? Confused

It's like leaving the door wide open for them to insult you.

CookPassBabtrigde · 19/04/2015 23:32

It is low level sexual harassment and it gets on my wick. The streets/public realm are for everyone to use without unwanted attention from Neanderthals.

^ This. I don't really understand why men do it. I personally don't shout out things to strangers for no reason other than they are the opposite sex and I would appreciate being able to go about my business and live my life without having shit shouted at me out of cars. It's not about how attractive you are, it's just because you're a female. It doesn't happen to me often, but I just ignore and don't even bother to look.
A male friend of mine recently said women should be flattered by it and appreciate the attention. I explained to him how it can make a woman feel - it's nothing to do with being friendly to strangers. It doesn't even matter if it's not particularly offensive. If it's dark and you're alone and a group of men walking behind you start saying 'alright darling' it can be fucking intimidating. It's sexist in my opinion, and not a compliment. He was mortified, he didn't realise it can make some women feel so so uncomfortable.

TheChandler · 19/04/2015 23:37

The worst comment I've had was when me and my female friend were walking through town one evening after work (so about 6pm) and one of a group of 3 perfectly decent looking young guys walking the other way said "how much?".

Jasmine2233 · 19/04/2015 23:51

I find it funny sometimes other times if they are street level and im pissed off il tell them to shut up then they will just say "oooo touchy" but then it makes me laugh.
Try not to let it get to you

whitsernam · 20/04/2015 00:40

I still remember getting whistled at when heavily pregnant. I had my back to the guy, and when I turned around he turned beet red!! Nothing needed to be said.

FenellaFellorick · 20/04/2015 07:42

I have many, many links kleptronic to articles where women describe street harassment and describe assaults that took place as a result of escalation from street harassment, but I have a feeling that's not what you want, because you only have to google street harassment to read loads of reports from women on things that have happened to them. No, I do not have any court reports that detail prosecutions but I believe the women who report what's happened to them.

Icimoi · 20/04/2015 08:36

Seriously, OP, if these people are repeat offenders then you should raise it with whoever is paying them. They won't be amused that the time they are paying for is being used to wolf whistle at passers by, and they should take it very seriously indeed if their employees are harassing the local population. If they're leaving stuff on the pavement, report them to the council.

Bigoldsupermoon · 20/04/2015 09:32

Stop, and very ostentatiously start taking a picture of them with your phone. Then take one of their van/equipment, so you've got the company name as well. Whether you do anything with it is up to you, but at least you'll shit them up.

Original poster
legolegolego · 20/04/2015 09:36

The owners aren't living at the house at the moment, do you think I can just post a letter through the door explaining? Could I do it anonymously? I really don't want the neighbour to knock the door and ask me about it!

OP posts:
mojo17 · 20/04/2015 11:13

Report report report
They are intimidating you and they know it.
Unfortunately any come from you won't carry any 'weight' SO
Report them to their employer that is the company they work for and that's a great idea about letting the home owner know if it's one house being worked on that is.
Start ringing up every single time they do it you will feel so ,ugh better

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