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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH thinks I wbu, do you agree? People interrupting me whilst out running...

310 replies

Livingtothefull · 19/04/2015 14:05

I know I am being a bit precious but here goes…

I live in an area which has a fair few tourists, this morning I was out for a run. There is one spot in the middle of the route where I have to run up a hill, I choose it purposely as it is v challenging to do.

I was running up the hill, just looking straight ahead and trying to focus and get up there. Then a couple approached me from the side & tried to ask me the way to somewhere (I think) but I just blanked them as I didn't want to stop and couldn't talk while running, not even to say 'Sorry can't stop'.

I did feel rude but then I thought, why ask a runner for directions when there are plenty of other people to ask? It was not an isolated spot, there were literally dozens of other people walking up & down the street. They did not look distressed, if I had thought there was any kind of emergency I would have stopped & helped….but I heard them giggling in amazement at my rudeness after I blanked them & ran past.

This has happened once before & I did the same thing. I told DH about it and he said they probably asked me because they assumed I was local. He thought I was rude and should have stopped, I said they should have known better than to try to interrupt a runner for a non-emergency. We had a bit of an argument about it & I said that they would never have done it if I had been a man, as they would have then assumed I was a 'serious athlete'.

WIBU? This is a genuine question.

OP posts:
Kasterborous · 20/04/2015 08:44

OP I'm with you it's really annoying when someone stops you mid run. I had a run not long ago which is down a single track road, it's a quiet road usually as it doesn't really go anywhere. There is the local football club at one end of it but you can't get to it from one end as it's got bollards. This day loads of cars came down so I had to stop on the tiny grass verge so they could get past - fair enough it's a road after all - but then they all came back down because they were after the football club, so I had to get out the way again but every single one of them asked me how to get to the football club, drove me mad.

UnoPan · 20/04/2015 08:45

There does seem to be a strata of MN poster who really don't like excercise, people talking about exercise, problems related with exercising, or how those people exercising or following a sporting practice try to get by and negotiate their ways around fellow members of the public. They post:
-massively unfair generalities
-wander in to a pathetic hyberbole-style when complaing about people who exercise
-dream up scenarios(mostly reading v highly unlikely) as 'counter-arguments'.

  • betray an ignornace of their own responsibilities as citizens to 'rub along' with other people whose lifestyle and habits do not reflect their own
  • betray an ignorance of guidances such as the Highway Code, shared path usage, pet control issues etc
-wish to judge an entire group of people based on one, or a handful of poor experiences
  • make no effort to compromise with anyone who does anything more than sit in a car, or breath irrregularly

and generally piss me off a bit.

And no OP you were not being unreasonable at all - you were focussed on what you were doing and other people should be respecting that.

UnoPan · 20/04/2015 08:47

A 'strata' - that can't be right! Is it 'stratum'?

Minisoksmakehardwork · 20/04/2015 09:45

Yabu to not have apologised. But I understand not wanting to stop. Maybe get a hi vis vest printed saying 'training, can't stop!' Which people will see as you run away from them...

But on the whole yanbu. I cycle and once I get my steam up, I dislike having to stop unless necessary.

bbcessex · 20/04/2015 09:49

Some one tried to stop me for directions once when I was running a half marathon, FGS! Nope, YADNBU.

TheChandler · 20/04/2015 09:52

UnoPan There does seem to be a strata of MN poster who really don't like excercise, people talking about exercise, problems related with exercising, or how those people exercising or following a sporting practice try to get by and negotiate their ways around fellow members of the public. They post:
-massively unfair generalities
-wander in to a pathetic hyberbole-style when complaing about people who exercise
-dream up scenarios(mostly reading v highly unlikely) as 'counter-arguments'

Yes, its pretty horrible. Quite scary actually - sometimes it comes across as a bit psychotic, and I'm nervous enough cycling/running, without thinking I might come across one of these dragon creatures, effing and blinding (in fact I have occasionally been harassed while running). Strange, because some of the posters on this thread also seem to claim to be so utterly saintly with regards to their manners, they go about directing people and apologising for being rude. Which doesn't really happen in real life, does it? The internet is an odd place! But yes, there are some who do seem to have almost a psychotic hatred of sports and exercise, and treat people who do it as almost some kind of peasant underclass to be looked down upon, abused and generally treated as misguided and a bit thick.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 20/04/2015 10:00

It's very bad form to stop a runner. I thought everyone knew that.

suzannecanthecan · 20/04/2015 10:01

?
Earphones, big wraparound shades, sun visor, all these will discourage people from trying to engage with you, the other day some one tried to hand me a leaflet as I cycled past.
Ignored him.
The faster you are going the more inconvenient it is to stop, would you flag down someone driving past in order to ask directions? ?

suzannecanthecan · 20/04/2015 10:03

would they have tried to stop a cyclist?

suzannecanthecan · 20/04/2015 10:06

imo they'd probably less likely to try and stop a man because it is a little easier to get a woman to behave in a 'people pleasing' manner
Ie put other people before herself
Aka act like a doormat ?

sparechange · 20/04/2015 10:13

YANBU!
And if that was me, mid-hill sprint, it would have taken a good minute after stopping for me to get my breath back enough to give them directions anyway, so for those who are saying it wouldn't have killed OP to 'pause for a few seconds', it wouldn't be a few seconds.

There were plenty of other people to ask. It was really bad manners of them to interrupt someone in the middle of something, just like it would have been really bad manners to interrupt someone who was in the middle of telling off their child, or deep in conversation

suzannecanthecan · 20/04/2015 10:21

I'm a runner, when I go for a run it's a training session, I intend to run a certain distance without stopping.
I'll have decided the route in advance so will have factored in the need to stop and cross roads.

The fact that I am not Paula Radcliffe is neither here nor there, nor does it matter that I am 'just' a recreational runner with no special talent for running.
My training is just as important to me as Paula Radcliffe's training is to her.
You wouldn't stop her so you shouldn't stop me! ?

TheAssassinsGuild · 20/04/2015 10:26

YANBU.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 20/04/2015 10:41

Jesus! I just went back to check the Paula Radcliffe comment after seeing the post above. Yes, OP, you've obviously gotten above your station by taking your exercise seriously, let's take you down a peg or two.

I am detecting some anti-runner sentiment here.

CheapSunglasses · 20/04/2015 10:49

I've been approached while tucked into a doorway with one finger shoved in my ear trying to hear what the person on the other end of the phone was saying.

This has happened to me too.

Some people are loons.

Gruntfuttock · 20/04/2015 10:51

ChickenMe "And you weren't rude, just factual. F off would be rude."

How on earth was she "factual" when she didn't say a word to the people? Are you another one who thinks she said "Sorry. Can't stop"? Because she didn't say that.

mousmous · 20/04/2015 10:56

if I'm running up a hill, I can't talk.
I need all my breathing just for running.

suzannecanthecan · 20/04/2015 10:59

?
Oh look there's one of those runners, just look at her she thinks she's so clever, exercising taking care of her health
Pah! any fool can run, we'll show her ?it's nothing special let's just interrupt her to let her know we have no respect for those smug healthy people

Coffee1234 · 20/04/2015 11:02

Most of the posters who think the OP should have paused and politely chatted have probably never run up a steep hill.

seabream · 20/04/2015 11:08

I agree with the poster who articulated some weird anti-running prejudice here, especially the Paula Radcliffe comment. I'm a marathon runner. Like every other female runner in the entire world, I'm slower than Paula. I'm quicker than some other runners. It doesn't matter. I take my running seriously, train as professionally as I can, and I don't see why I should be expected to apologise for that. Stopping during a tempo run means you lose cadence and momentum, and it does take more effort to get going again - hence why interval sessions work for increasing fitness! But OP wasn't trying to do an interval.

OP - Massively not unreasonable. They were mental to try to stop you. I wouldn't have been able to gasp out anything during a hill rep either.

hopelesslydevotedtoGu · 20/04/2015 11:08

Everyone saying 'you should have said sorry' has clearly never run at full pelt.

Everyone saying 'you could have easily stopped' has clearly never properly sprinted up a hill. You get a momentum going, and stopping suddenly loses that, and also is bad for your muscles.

Why does their desire to ask the OP for directions rather than one of the many other available people trump the OP's desire to complete a serious run?

RevoltingPeasant · 20/04/2015 11:09

I think a useful analogy is someone moving furniture.

If you saw someone struggling to shift a heavy bookcase into a house, you could reasonably assume they lived there and were local.

But would you expect them to stop straining and swearing under their breath and put the bookcase down in order to help you - when there were other people around who could?

I think most people would see interrupting someone engaged in an awkward, hard task like moving furniture as U. So is interrupting someone running.

seabream · 20/04/2015 11:09

Sorry first sentence should read - I agree with the poster who identified some weird anti-running prejudice... Cut and paste with a work document went awry!

ComposHatComesBack · 20/04/2015 11:24

I certainly don't "barrel people out of the way" - why would anyone want to get bruised and battered. How odd. Of all the groups of people to get offended by, runners minding their own business and looking focussed must take quite a lot of effort!

You seem to have a talent for wilfully misinterpreting what I am saying.

I am talking about runners who do not alter their pace when they reach a busy footpath and will charge along it at the same pace as before, forcing people to leap out of their way, not wandering around decking people. Looking focused appears to be part of the problem, they seem to be oblivious of other pavement, or indifferent.

This 'can't stop' mantra is a nonsense as they seem to manage it okay when they have to cross a main road, but effectively forcing other pedestrians into an unwanted game of chicken, seems okay as it will wreck their precious training regime.

They need to accept that on a busy pavement they will need to -shock horror - slow down to walking pace, or do their hobby elsewhere.

suzannecanthecan · 20/04/2015 11:26

The interrupters treated the interruptee as if she wasn't doing anything in particular, when she very clearly was

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