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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH thinks I wbu, do you agree? People interrupting me whilst out running...

310 replies

Livingtothefull · 19/04/2015 14:05

I know I am being a bit precious but here goes…

I live in an area which has a fair few tourists, this morning I was out for a run. There is one spot in the middle of the route where I have to run up a hill, I choose it purposely as it is v challenging to do.

I was running up the hill, just looking straight ahead and trying to focus and get up there. Then a couple approached me from the side & tried to ask me the way to somewhere (I think) but I just blanked them as I didn't want to stop and couldn't talk while running, not even to say 'Sorry can't stop'.

I did feel rude but then I thought, why ask a runner for directions when there are plenty of other people to ask? It was not an isolated spot, there were literally dozens of other people walking up & down the street. They did not look distressed, if I had thought there was any kind of emergency I would have stopped & helped….but I heard them giggling in amazement at my rudeness after I blanked them & ran past.

This has happened once before & I did the same thing. I told DH about it and he said they probably asked me because they assumed I was local. He thought I was rude and should have stopped, I said they should have known better than to try to interrupt a runner for a non-emergency. We had a bit of an argument about it & I said that they would never have done it if I had been a man, as they would have then assumed I was a 'serious athlete'.

WIBU? This is a genuine question.

OP posts:
HarpyFishwifeTwat · 19/04/2015 14:20

Pffft. Are you Paula Radcliffe? Were you running a marathon? Not sure why your running is more important than my peaceful, meandering walk.

The only people too important to not even acknowledge when someone is speaking directly to them are those rushing to save a life. Otherwise a quick "sorry" isn't too much to ask.

I wouldn't think to interrupt a runner but YABU and more than a bit precious.

ApocalypseNowt · 19/04/2015 14:20

I'm not a runner but I wouldn't stop one in the middle of a run to ask directions, especially if they were running up a hill. I'd guess that my blithering question would interrupt their workout, they'd be all out of breath if they did stop for me, I'd ruin any momentum they'd built up....

MajesticWhine · 19/04/2015 14:20

YANBU at all. It's really annoying being stopped. It could put you off your stride for the rest of the run.

In another tale of running related bad manners, a runner stopped me the other day and asked to use my phone because she had become separated from her boyfriend. I said yes, and then after using said phone, she ran off without a thank you. I was like this Shock

Amethyst24 · 19/04/2015 14:21

YANBU. If I'm just bimbling along I'm happy to be stopped for directions (or, as happened once, by a small child saying, "Excuse me, do you know where my daddy is?" Sad) but if I was sprinting or going hard up a hill I wouldn't stop.

HarpyFishwifeTwat · 19/04/2015 14:21

Jeanne I think you've misread.

"I just blanked them as I didn't want to stop and couldn't talk while running, not even to say 'Sorry can't stop'."

Gruntfuttock · 19/04/2015 14:21

JeanneDeMontbaston "Also, it's not impolite to say what you said"

The OP didn't say anything. She said that she didn't even say "Sorry can't stop" She simply ignored them completely.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 19/04/2015 14:23

Oh, you're right, sorry, so I did.

Yeah, ok, she might've said that.

EastMidsMummy · 19/04/2015 14:23

I'm a runner. Even if you're half way through an Olympic marathon, you're being hugely precious and rude not to even acknowledge them, let alone stop..

RabidFairy · 19/04/2015 14:24

YANBU OP.
I'm not a runner, but I wouldn't disturb someone who was running.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 19/04/2015 14:24

YANBU

I don't run and in fact can't Grin but it's patently obvious that if someone is running and going along and concentrating then you don't stop them Confused I mean you get momentum going don't you and to suddenly stop and then have to get going again, especially up a hill, that's just a total PITA.

Also an interesting point re sexism, I have no idea of the answer, but it's not impossible that male runners would get this less than women. Certainly women do tend to get asked stuff more than men generally due to children being told to approach women / women being seen as safer / etc. Loads of threads on here with women in workplaces being approached about stuff much more than men. So, interesting.

whatlifestylechoice · 19/04/2015 14:25

Surely it's just common sense to not stop someone running up a hill?

WhatsGoingOnEh · 19/04/2015 14:25

I think you were a bit rude not to mumble out a "Sorry!" or do an apologetic hand wave... BUT I'd be annoyed if every passer-by assumed I was public property.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 19/04/2015 14:26

YANBU

Why on earth would you stop a runner?

I do understand why people are pointing out that runners need to stop for traffic. But runners often plan their runs to avoid crossings as much as possible precisely so they don't have to stop.

PurpleSwift · 19/04/2015 14:26

Ynbu. I wouldn't stop a runner. I'd assume a runner is focussing on their workout and would find it rude to interrupt that if there are many other people around that I wouldn't have to stop.

Charis1 · 19/04/2015 14:26

Depends why you are running. If you are just passing the time, of course you can stop. If you are training for a marathon or long distance, and are on a timed run, or an endurance run which requires constantly running, then no, you can't.

there is nothing worse than attempting to run 13 miles non stop, and getting interupted at 11.5!

As to crossing roads, etc, I generally run back wards and forwards beside the crossing spot until the road is clear.

if I am out walking, it is no problem to stop and talk.

On one occasion I was chased and bitten by a very sweet but totally undisciplined puppy, and the owner blamed me for not stopping running! I was at that stage about 17 miles into the final 20 mile marathon training run, which should be attempted non stop!

Charis1 · 19/04/2015 14:29

I do understand why people are pointing out that runners need to stop for traffic. But runners often plan their runs to avoid crossings as much as possible precisely so they don't have to stop.

Exactly, I am often very careful to plan out a route that avoids having to cross the road at all. This often involves following a pavement where ever it happens to go, and some go a surprisingly long distance. Sooner or later you do tend to end up in a loop though.

Original poster
Livingtothefull · 19/04/2015 14:30

Thanks all. Some mixed responses here…I don't like appearing rude but agree that it is actually really hard to come to an abrupt stop whilst running, which I would have had to do.

I personally would never dream of interrupting a runner unless there was no alternative/an emergency…but maybe that it is because as a runner myself I understand that it wbu.

I am generally happy to help people with directions etc whilst out and about and frequently do so. I would always stop for any kind of emergency, even if not asked: e.g. a few weeks ago when out running I saw a little boy out playing on his scooter who looked as if he might be on his own & have wandered off. I checked with a group of people nearby to make sure that he was with them.

Re the sexism element I brought in….I can only say that I am approached far more often for directions etc than DH is. I agree that (for whatever reason) women are seen as more approachable generally.

The earphones idea is a good tip, I may go for that, just earphones with no music (I like to be able to hear traffic etc around me)

OP posts:
Brandysnapper · 19/04/2015 14:30

I never understood why runners jog around on the pavement next to the traffic lights. Why can't they just stop and wait?
Then I started c25k and I totally get it. If someone interrupts me during this week's 20 min run I will cry!

RitaOrange · 19/04/2015 14:30

I am doing Cto5K - I am concentrating and doing timed intervals ,it would be a real pain to stop.
Obviously I would stop if it was an emergency.

loveableshoulder · 19/04/2015 14:30

I acknowledge people, say thanks to those who move aside for me and generally try to be considerate. I always have headphones - if someone tried to get my attention I'd take one ear out to listen but wouldn't stop.

I'd be fucking furious if someone tried to stop me under the circumstances described in the op. Not because I'm better than anyone not running, but because I'm clearly busy doing something. I time my runs and would probably be interested in my time up such a hill. It's hard to get going again. It is nothing like walking, an activity during which walkers are extremely unlikely to be timing themselves or trying to better a previous time.

YWNBU.

BertieBotts · 19/04/2015 14:31

Shock If I was being chased by a dog I think my instinct would be to keep running, not stop Confused

PtolemysNeedle · 19/04/2015 14:31

YANBU for not wanting to stop if there were other people around that could have helped, but YABVU for this comment - 'I said that they would never have done it if I had been a man, as they would have then assumed I was a 'serious athlete'.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 19/04/2015 14:31

Yanbu, I hate having to stop when I'm running and will avoid it at all costs. I have stopped for people lost but I always wish they'd ask someone else. No harm in a quick 'sorry' though if you don't stop.

Unfortunately as this thread indicates, non runners don't always understand why runners are so focused and reluctant to stop.

Walking is very different, I would stop for anyone while walking.

RitaOrange · 19/04/2015 14:31

Xpost withBrandy

Sparklingbrook · 19/04/2015 14:32

Get a T Shirt printed with 'DO NOT STOP ME' on it?

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