My DH thinks I wbu, do you agree? People interrupting me whilst out running...

[Livingtothefull]

I know I am being a bit precious but here goes…

I live in an area which has a fair few tourists, this morning I was out for a run. There is one spot in the middle of the route where I have to run up a hill, I choose it purposely as it is v challenging to do.

I was running up the hill, just looking straight ahead and trying to focus and get up there. Then a couple approached me from the side & tried to ask me the way to somewhere (I think) but I just blanked them as I didn't want to stop and couldn't talk while running, not even to say 'Sorry can't stop'.

I did feel rude but then I thought, why ask a runner for directions when there are plenty of other people to ask? It was not an isolated spot, there were literally dozens of other people walking up & down the street. They did not look distressed, if I had thought there was any kind of emergency I would have stopped & helped….but I heard them giggling in amazement at my rudeness after I blanked them & ran past.

This has happened once before & I did the same thing. I told DH about it and he said they probably asked me because they assumed I was local. He thought I was rude and should have stopped, I said they should have known better than to try to interrupt a runner for a non-emergency. We had a bit of an argument about it & I said that they would never have done it if I had been a man, as they would have then assumed I was a 'serious athlete'.

WIBU? This is a genuine question.

And OP, your husband in this case is trying to make you feel that your running is not important

Compos provides a fine example of the 'pathetic hyperbole' I refer to above....
but effectively forcing other pedestrians into an unwanted game of chicken
ffs. the world must be a real strain for you, you know, with other people in it?

ComposHat You seem to have a talent for wilfully misinterpreting what I am saying.

No, really. I have no interest in you particularly, just commenting on a particularly asisine comment you made. People don't require a "talent" to respond to you in a particular way = its not all about you.

I am talking about runners who do not alter their pace when they reach a busy footpath and will charge along it at the same pace as before, forcing people to leap out of their way, not wandering around decking people. Looking focused appears to be part of the problem, they seem to be oblivious of other pavement, or indifferent.

And I'm talking about harassment.

This 'can't stop' mantra is a nonsense as they seem to manage it okay when they have to cross a main road, but effectively forcing other pedestrians into an unwanted game of chicken, seems okay as it will wreck their precious training regime.

Who on earth are "they"?

They need to accept that on a busy pavement they will need to -shock horror - slow down to walking pace, or do their hobby elsewhere.

Have you ever thought about some counselling to help you deal with all these issues? I get that you are possibly not the most healthy or active person out there, but treating people as if they are inferior to you, simply because they occasionally choose to do different things to you, is an indication of a lack of social skills on your part, not some major societal problem with people who choose to do running in general.

Yanbu - an old lady tried to stop me once when I was in a middle of a run !

For the benefit of ComposHat, from the OP:

"I live in an area which has a fair few tourists, this morning I was out for a run. There is one spot in the middle of the route where I have to run up a hill, I choose it purposely as it is v challenging to do."

"I was running up the hill, just looking straight ahead and trying to focus and get up there. Then a couple approached me from the side & tried to ask me the way to somewhere (I think) but I just blanked them as I didn't want to stop and couldn't talk while running, not even to say 'Sorry can't stop'."

No busy pavements involved. None of this bizarre phenomenon of "barrelling people out of the way" (not sure what size you are, but not something I'd fancy taking on!). Just a woman out for a run up a hill. No leaping pedstrians. No "decking".

I remember too well when I was younger how it was sort of disapproved upon for women to be out running (or "exercising", or "keep fit", or "jogging" as you were supposed to call it then, because obviously if y weren't an Olympic athlete, you weren't allowed to be serious about your hobby), and, because it was relatively rare, you would be guaranteed lots of comments and people finding it funny. Now thankfully there are loads of women out running, most of whom have learned to ignore cat calls and comments. That may include interruptions from people asking for directions. Too bad - no harm done, ask someone else.

Why on earth would you try to stop a runner? You are clearly busy! Ask someone who looks like they have the time to answer you, and who you are not interrupting or inconveniening. They were rude.

The hardest person to stop too, as you either have to block their path as this couple didnt auite manage to do, or chase them down. It would make sense if the road was deserted, but if there are people standing or walking, why would you ask a runner?

YANBU

If people saw me running up a challenging hill they would see a sweaty, wild-haired, red-faced woman, gasping for breath with head down or staring madly at a point in the distance. Who would look at somebody doing that and think 'I know, out of all the people I can see around me, she looks least likely to mind stopping for a quick chat'?

If I plan a run with a challenging hill I spend the time before dreading anticipating it and the time after recovering from it. You can't just stop halfway up a hill, recover your breath, chat a bit, then take off again as if nothing has happened. If you have to stop you don't get to do the run you planned. And sometimes that is important to you for whatever reason; perhaps a training schedule or a personal goal you set yourself. I don't see why that is taking oneself too seriously or considering oneself superior to others either.

I don't blame you at all for driving onwards. I would have tried to puff out some sort of apology, though it would probably have been completely incoherent.

I would also hate to stop if running, for one it puts me completely off my pace, and second, I always time my runs.

ComposHat I am not sure why you are raising an issue about runners 'forcing people to leap out of the way' and 'decking people'. If you say so then I suppose some runners exist who act like this if you have encountered them, but I am not one of them. I try to be considerate to others when out running….just as there are some drivers or cyclists who are considerate and some who are less so, I can believe with runners it is the same.

I posted about a very specific incident...I was not in anybody's way, my way ahead was clear but the couple approached me from the side and tried to get me to stop.

And why is there an obligation to 'engage in social niceties' whilst out running? TBH I have often encountered friends, neighbours etc during my runs and they have the sense not to expect me to stop & chat or even manage a 'hallo', just a wave & a smile was enough.

YANBU.

I don't run with music but I deliberately try to ignore anything anyone says to me when I run, because 95% of the time it's abusive or inane (anything from 'I bet your pussy is sweaty now' (from a boy of no more than 10) to 'run faster or you'll never get there'). Just because I am female and running. I doubt I would get the same comments / abuse if I was merely walking along the same route.

However, I am always polite, always say thanks if someone moves out of my way or holds their dog back, and I will run off the pavement and into the road (potentially putting myself at risk) to avoid putting any walkers out.

If someone tried to ask me directions, I would probably not realize what they wanted until I was already about 10 metres passed them. I have however stopped to help people who have clearly been lost, although I wouldn't stop on a hill as that requires a lot more effort than stopping on a flat road.

Chandler

I wasn't talking about you or the OP - nor have I said women shouldn't run or what have you or that it is a problem with female runners, so I'm not sure where you've dragged that straw (wo)man argument up from.

I was pointing out that some runners can be anti-social and inconsiderate verging on aggressive and dangerous. I suspect that because I live on the edge of the city centre, it is people trying to run to work when the pavements are busiest. They really should be prepared to alter their running time or accept for portions of their run they'll have to walk.

I am not saying that all runners are selfish twats, but some selfish twats also run. I suspect their twattishness would manifest itself if they were cycling driving a car, using a mobility scooter or riding a bike.

Have you ever thought about some counselling to help you deal with all these issues?

Have you ever thought twice before posting snitty passive aggressive posts?

I get that you are possibly not the most healthy or active person out there

I am very fit and active thanks for asking. So your childish ad hominem attack has missed the mark.

Your brand of logic seems to be this 'I am a runner/jogger, I don't run aggressively on busy streets, therefore no runners ever do this.' I'm a cyclist I never ride without lights after dark and don't jump lights, but I am fully aware that other cyclists do and cringe inwardly when I see them.

Compos its beginning to come across as some kind of personal propaganda mission on your part. Maybe its you? I don't have these problems, either in London or in the suburbs. Streets are busy - you need to pay attention to avoid getting in other people's way, and keep your eyes open.

If you really do have a problem with people using public pavements who are repeatedly "aggressive and dangerous" towards you, who "barrel" you out of the way, or who "deck" you or others, take a description and go to the police, as you would with any crime.

If you really have been assaulted, and this isn't anti-runner or anti-sport hyperbole on your part, you will have witnesses, since you claim it happens at commuter time. And take videos and photographs on your phone as evidence.

And btw, drop the "strawman" bit - you're using it out of context and sound silly. A "man of straw" is a person with no funds to pay a compensation claim, not an empty argument. I see we are onto ad hominem now.

Your brand of logic seems to be this 'I am a runner/jogger, I don't run aggressively on busy streets, therefore no runners ever do this.'

No, its not. You are wrong, again.

No, its not.

I never realised runners were so precious about it - I might stop them for shits and giggles now after all the ridiculous comments on this thread. Lighten up...

ODFOD

Chandler I don't see the point persisting with this but here goes.

You wrote:

"aggressive and dangerous" towards you, who "barrel" you out of the way, or who "deck" you or others, take a description and go to the police, as you would with any crime.

Please read what I actually wrote, not what you think I wrote. Here it is, reproduced for any avoidance of doubt. I am talking about people running inappropriately quickly on busy footpaths, forcing other pedestrians into evasive action, I don't suggest this is criminal, just rude and potentially dangerous. Please can you point out where I make reference to runners decking people, read the passage below, the key word is not

I am talking about runners who do not alter their pace when they reach a busy footpath and will charge along it at the same pace as before, forcing people to leap out of their way, not wandering around decking people.

If you really have been assaulted Where do I claim to be assaulted? Here's a clue, a really big one: I haven't.

And btw, drop the "strawman" bit - you're using it out of context and sound silly. A "man of straw" is a person with no funds to pay a compensation claim, not an empty argument

I'm sorry, but you clearly misunderstand what a straw man argument is. It refers to purposely misrepresenting someone's statement and then attacking the misrepresentation.

For example:

Person A: 'I think there should be more restrictions on the times alcohol can be sold.'

Person B: 'They tried prohibition in the USA and it failed and it caused organised crime to flourish.'

When Person A, hasn't advocated prohibition at all.

Me: 'I've experienced problems with some runners running aggressively and quickly on busy pavements, causing other people to have to move out of the way, which is anti-social and could be dangerous'

You: 'You hate people taking exercise, I don't believe you when you say runners have assaulted you.'

Is pretty much a straw man argument writ large.

AuntieDee
I don't think runners are precious. They are...running.

It is a bit like you saying 'oh, I didn't realise diners are so precious. I might interrupt them halfway through their meals for shits and giggles'.
Someone is doing something and doesn't want to be disturbed. Why be so vindictive?

Was there not a thread on here recently about a charity collector leaping in front of somebody running and knocking them over?

That was me! Just found this thread and was about to post my own experience. Have a bit of a warm glow now from knowing I've been remembered on MN.

I was running in a city park last summer. The last section of the run is a long downhill path so is a great opportunity to really pelt home after the previous strain of running up the hill - although still requires focus to ensure I pace myself so I don’t injure leg muscles or fall flat on my face. I noticed a line of chuggers ahead and ran to the side so I wouldn’t have to weave in and out of them. All good until I came to the last bloke in the line who started shouting to me as I approached, then, just as I was passing him, jumped suddenly straight into my path with hands outstretched yelling "STOOOOP" in an intended comic fashion. I did my best to pull up but we collided and both ended up flat out on the ground. I'm not one for confrontation at all and never ever speak my mind but I just lost it with him, yelling that it was a completely idiotic thing to do, that he risked serious injury to both of us and of all the people passing by, what made him think that I was the person likely to stop and sign up to a direct debate for charity; where exactly in my lycra outfit was I likely to be carrying a wallet?? His only reaction was to roll his eyes and tell me to calm down as it was all for a good cause. And yes, upon leaving the scene, I discovered I had actually hurt my leg in the collision which stopped my running regime for the rest of that week.

I still seethe with anger when I think about it and haven't run that run since. This thread definitely made me think about it and I'm really stunned by the amount of people giving the OP a hard time and who think it is fine to stop a runner in their tracks in a non-emergency situation and given the choice of other people around.

How small and mean-minded can you get?

Some people like to run. To get a sense of achievement they might not get in other areas of their life, to improve their fitness, to raise money for a cause that's important to them, for lots of different reasons. Other people like to do something else, which is great. Why do you have to accuse people of being precious and ridiculous because they take it seriously?

Let's hear what you enjoy, are passionate and determined about then AuntieDee. So we can belittle it and sneer at you for trying to do your best. Just for shits and giggles like.

*ComposHat Please, just stop it. If you must go about telling people how to commute to work and how to use pavements, can you limit the barrack room lawyer stuff? For the avoidance of doubt, thats someone who likes to hold themselves out as a lawyer when they aren't. Or at least if you must do, use the law correctly, and get your definitions right (using proper sources). Usually characterised these days by googling terms and using Wikipeadia then utilising them to prop up arguments but slightly getting it out of context. Its embarrassing - I don't go around pretending to be a surgeon, dropping in Latin terms in a vain attempt to sound knowledgeable - it would be cringeworthy.

As I say, if you really have been assaulted, gather evidence, go to the police. I don't see the point in using it as a stick to pursue some personalised vendetta. If you want to be a lawyer, study an LLB, do a training contract and qualify.

This turning into a surreal experience, I am beginning to wonder what is actually appearing on your computer screen and what I am typing are in anyway corresponding. Your latest response is utterly bizarre.

can you limit the barrack room lawyer stuff?For the avoidance of doubt, thats someone who likes to hold themselves out as a lawyer when they aren't.

Sorry this is lost on me, where am I claiming any legal expertise?

Usually characterised these days by googling terms and using Wikipeadia then utilising them to prop up arguments but slightly getting it out of context.

Come again? What legal terms have I used that could be misconstrued as a legal term.

As I say, if you really have been assaulted, gather evidence

I will say it for a third, time I have not claimed this, please can I point this out to you?

...

TurtleBeach, that's awful & such dangerous behaviour, I'm not surprised you were livid. Out of interest, did you complain to the charity who employed him?

ComposHat - I am not clear about why you raised the issues you had about runners being inconsiderate towards other pavement users. You seem to feel strongly that runners are a problem; I am not disputing that some runners may be inconsiderate of others, along with some drivers, cyclists, walkers etc. But I don't think I am one of them. I was talking about a very specific scenario, I was not in anyone's way but the other parties were trying to get in mine.

And I am not clear what you mean when you refer to 'running inappropriately quickly along busy footpaths'. There I was thinking that public places like streets and paths belong to everybody…I was not aware that running along them was deemed to be unacceptable conduct?

BTW we are often out and about with my DS who is disabled and in a wheelchair….if I encounter a runner, or even someone who is walking fast/in a hurry, I will do whatever I reasonably and safely can to move to the side and let them pass. My DH does the same. I wouldn't condone a runner 'forcing people to leap out of their way' but I don't think it is such a huge ask for walkers to move to one side whilst walking so the runner can pass….people do this all the time with no fuss at all. Is that such a huge inconvenience to them? How about we all just try to be considerate to each other?

I am not a runner but i totally understand all the reasons for a runner not wanting to stop. You are busy doing exercise. They wouldn't expect to stop someone in the middle of an exercise class and it is the same thing