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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH thinks I wbu, do you agree? People interrupting me whilst out running...

310 replies

Livingtothefull · 19/04/2015 14:05

I know I am being a bit precious but here goes…

I live in an area which has a fair few tourists, this morning I was out for a run. There is one spot in the middle of the route where I have to run up a hill, I choose it purposely as it is v challenging to do.

I was running up the hill, just looking straight ahead and trying to focus and get up there. Then a couple approached me from the side & tried to ask me the way to somewhere (I think) but I just blanked them as I didn't want to stop and couldn't talk while running, not even to say 'Sorry can't stop'.

I did feel rude but then I thought, why ask a runner for directions when there are plenty of other people to ask? It was not an isolated spot, there were literally dozens of other people walking up & down the street. They did not look distressed, if I had thought there was any kind of emergency I would have stopped & helped….but I heard them giggling in amazement at my rudeness after I blanked them & ran past.

This has happened once before & I did the same thing. I told DH about it and he said they probably asked me because they assumed I was local. He thought I was rude and should have stopped, I said they should have known better than to try to interrupt a runner for a non-emergency. We had a bit of an argument about it & I said that they would never have done it if I had been a man, as they would have then assumed I was a 'serious athlete'.

WIBU? This is a genuine question.

OP posts:
londonrach · 19/04/2015 15:09

I think you were being rude. Whats the difference from asking help from a walker to a runner. Last week i got lost and the person i could see was a man on a ladder. I stopped the car and looked nervously up. He came down. I apologised and asked if he could direct me. He couldnt have been nicer with drawing me a map. I always seem to be the one lost tourists ask and tbh its fun and what comes around goes around as shown by builder on the ladder.

Kvetch15 · 19/04/2015 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmyElliotDunne · 19/04/2015 15:12

I'm with you OP, I'd be lucky to splutter out a breathless "sorry" and a head shake, but why should you. It's not rude that you didn't want to stop. I'm a very slow and sporadic runner and even though I sometimes have to walk for intervals, that is at my own pace. When I'm on a roll with running it all feels like it is in place, the rhythm carries me along and even stopping at a crossing puts me off my stride. I've been known to run on the spot or even round and round a small roundabout, while my DCs or running partner catch up, as standing still and waiting just lets your muscles seize up.

ElizabethHoover · 19/04/2015 15:12

moreover, when did people stop JOGGING?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 19/04/2015 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 19/04/2015 15:15

You were rude. Say 'sorry' and keep running. Who knew runners were such delicate creatures?

As for the sexist angle you tried to introduce in your OP - weird.

bobajob · 19/04/2015 15:16

I'm not a runner at all, but I'd have thought it common sense not to try to have a conversation with someone in the middle of running up a hill Confused

MQv2 · 19/04/2015 15:16

Yanbu
I'd have blanked them too

diddl · 19/04/2015 15:17

I think that you were rude to say nothing at all.

Odd to stop you though if there were other folks about.

Maybe they thought that you were most likely to not be another tourist though!

debricassartcleary · 19/04/2015 15:18

YWNBU how rude to stop someone running up a hill. Selfish idiots.

HaPPy8 · 19/04/2015 15:18

Im a runner. Love using map my run to time runs and try to improve my speed. I still think YABU. Does your running app not have an automatic pause function when you aren't moving anyway? MMR does. Whatever happened to just helping out fellow human beings? I agree with your DH they probably just thought you were likely to be local and know your way around. I think its quite sad that you didn't stop to really acknowledge them at all. You can jog on the spot if you are that worried about keeping moving.

TheChandler · 19/04/2015 15:19

I think you were being rude. Whats the difference from asking help from a walker to a runner.

If you really can't work that one out, how can you work out whats rude or not?

limitedperiodonly · 19/04/2015 15:21

If I run with DH he runs at my pace which is slower than his. We haven't had rows but we've had words because our aims are different.

My aim is to be fit and to maintain a certain body shape. I don't care very much about times. Those are his aims but he also wants to win.

He motivates himself by chasing people. When I was becoming fitter he would encourage me to 'own that runner in front! Take him down!' Confused

It wasn't fun. It was like being out with an unstable SAS drill sergeant.

Anyway, after a full and frank exchange of my views we established the ground rules. Running is never going to be pleasant - I'd rather lie on a chaise longue in marabou mules eating violet creams - but it's a bearable chore and means to an end.

uglyswan · 19/04/2015 15:25

YANBU! You were running up a hill! If you're running at any speed at all, you are going to need that breath for running, not for directions or shouting "sorry". Because you a running up a damn hill. And while people will do that to men too (take it from this skinny butch hairy-legged runner in hoodie and shorts), I don't blame you for assuming that they wouldn't. After all, female runners do get shouted at, chased etc etc far more frequently than men do, so it's not entirely unfair to assume that they'd get interrupted more in general. So YABWrong, but not U.

CaTsMaMmA · 19/04/2015 15:28

maybe you are not running as fast as you think you are?

So they saw someone ambling up the hill and thought they'd ask you? and then laughed at your aura of self importance?

DealForTheKids · 19/04/2015 15:29

YANBU. I'm not an 'outside runner' (I go to the gym so I can watch tv while I do it Wink) but would know never to stop a runner if there are others whom I could ask.

I really dislike the generalisations here. I was walking along a canal towpath yesterday and some Cockwomble cyclist rang his bell to get past me. I stepped to one side but got no thank you (so I shouted THANKS after him because I am immature) but that doesn't mean I hate all cyclists!

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 19/04/2015 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Livingtothefull · 19/04/2015 15:30

If I had been on a slow part of the run I would have been able to say something, I can usually say 'thanks' when people move out of the way. If I am working harder and can't talk then I will smile & gesture. I think I am a polite and helpful person generally, I avoid inconveniencing people & cars when out.

But as I say I was running up a long hill at the time and I think my body language would have shown that I was focused…looking straight ahead, arms moving in rhythm etc and that I shouldn't be approached. At the same time there were several other people ambling along the road. Why ask me rather than them?

I understand that a lot of you thought that I was rude…I suppose I WAS rude. But I just don't understand what possessed them to ask me for directions when there were lots of other people around, out for a Sunday morning stroll. I would have understood it if I had been the only person around for them to ask…I would then probably have stopped. To be honest, the more I think about it the more I think they may have been deliberately trying to wind me up by making me stop.

As I say, personally I would only ask a runner (or any other person obviously busy doing something) for help if there was nobody else to ask.

It's not that I am fretting about this incident, just that I want to hear your views & decide how to handle these situations in the future.

OP posts:
elementofsurprise · 19/04/2015 15:37

limitedperiodonly "Running is never going to be pleasant - I'd rather lie on a chaise longue in marabou mules eating violet creams - but it's a bearable chore and means to an end." - Precisely!

I keep wondering about the giggling - in my head they're actually trying to tell the OP "You have dog poo stuck to your shorts" or "The path drops away to a steep precipice over the hill" or something...

In reality, it's just rude people who can't even stop to think that they may have been annoying, themselves.

Would have thought a "Can't stop" or wave of the hand would be appropriate though.

How about a T-shirt that says "Only ask directions if you can keep up"? Grin

CaptainHolt · 19/04/2015 15:39

I've never so much as run for a bus but I think it's really odd to stop a runner for no real reason. They are clearly doing something. I wouldn't ask a busker or someone digging the road or someone trying to ram a reluctant toddler into a pushchair either when I could ask a meanderer.

GnomeDePlume · 19/04/2015 15:42

You were rude but there isnt a law against that.

Perhaps you need a teeshirt with the following slogan:

Tourists - get a map!

Blueskybrightstar · 19/04/2015 15:44

This is crazy!! Do NOT stop during a workout. People who don't understand this don't understand what a serious workout actually is. You are off limits fôr casual chats when you are doing a workout. If other people get offended by this then who cares. Workouts are sacred IMO especially when you have kids and your opportunities to actually get out there are limited.

So YANBU and the people that stopped you and then giggled (wtf?!) are VVVU to feel entitled to an answer.

fatlazymummy · 19/04/2015 15:46

I don't think you were being rude at all. I would never interrupt or speak to a runner unless it was an emergency, and they were the only person around.
I understand they're busy and focussed on training so don't want to stop unless it's absolutely neccessary.
I'm not a runner myself but I am a swimmer, and you do get the odd person that wants to make small talk in the pool, and I'm just not interested.

NotallTravellersarebad · 19/04/2015 15:46

You could of ran on spot, this not stopping, and, helping ! Grin

Blueskybrightstar · 19/04/2015 15:48

Reading through this thread you'd think those tourists were lying bleeding at the side of the road or something! Seriously, if you didn't give them directions then any of the next 20 people they ambled past would.