Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery staff perfume

125 replies

BananaLeaf · 18/04/2015 08:21

15mo Dd has just started nursery, one of the staff wears a perfume that really lingers in DDs hair and clothes. I am not a fan of strong scents as they give me a headache, and I find it disconcerting that she comes home with this strong scent on her. She does not smell like my DD!
WIBU to mention this to the manager?

OP posts:
TheMustard · 18/04/2015 17:48

Iliveinalighthouse

That is what you gathered from my post? That I don't like working with children? I love working with children, and most of the 170 I teach are very precious to me. Those year 10 boys most particularly. How you reached that hysterical conclusion regarding heat and kitchens is quite beyond me.

But no, I don't pander to every single parental request of their own precious darlings, and, as I said, if somebody were to try to dictate something so silly as the scents we chose to wear, perfume or otherwise, I can't imagine many school staff would be impressed.

Marmiteandjamislush · 18/04/2015 17:48

YABU, very. You can't use outside child care services and make demands like that! Does it in any way effect the way she cares for DD? No. Get a grip OP.

Spotifymuse · 18/04/2015 17:56

Nurses are advised not to use strong or overpowering scents because of the close personal contact with people. Some perfumes are incredibly nauseating to other people.I don't think it's that unreasonable to apply that to nursery staff as well.

26Point2Miles · 18/04/2015 17:59

You pay for the service yes, but not the staffs attire!

What if another parent complains that their child doesn't like people wearing green? Or a parent doesn't like the staff wearing make up? Where does it end?

And I don't think you can legally restrict employees in this way either

Strictlyison · 18/04/2015 18:02

I secretly agree with OP! When ds was 3 he went to a preschool and came back home smelling of the manager's perfume and I hated it... but never told anyone as I thought I was crazy Wink .

I am now a child minder and never wear perfume when I have children, and when I have a new baby starting I ask parents to give me a bit of their washing powder so I can wash the new baby's bed sheets with the same soap... I am now officially PFB with babies I look after!!

Crocodopolis · 18/04/2015 18:27

This definitely Daily Mail sad-face material.

26Point2Miles · 18/04/2015 18:28

Lol indeed!

fixedit · 18/04/2015 18:43

When DD was at nursery there was a lovely lady who she always smelt of, this lady Is lovely and gave the best hugs and I loved sniffing dd when she came home.
But yes. A little precious.

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2015 19:09

There are scents I dislike thoroughly and some give me a headache. I loathe patchouli and Youth Dew was the bane of my life as it was a friend's favourite.

But I would never have thought I had the right to tell people what they could and couldn't use.

You are paying for a service, not employing a servant.

And unless it makes them ill, children need to get used to all sorts of smells, perfumes, odours. Good time to start.

AndCounting · 18/04/2015 19:13

I get a massive headache when I encounter perfume. I saw a consultant and it's in the migraine category as the trigger is specific.

I used to hate it when someone wearing a strong perfume held my son when he was a baby. I'd then get stuck with a headache for the rest of the day.

Everyone gets pretty sassy about this one, because no one want to be told not to wear perfume.

You're not being precious OP. It's a genuine health problem caused by perfume. Google some, there are some lobbying organisations in US and Caneda about this issue.

You coukd get a referral from you GP and a diagnosis. As lots of people on here have proved, much easier to dismiss you as precious or subconsciously resenting your childcare than to listen to you and believe what you say.

Good luck.

Dressingdown1 · 18/04/2015 19:21

OP yanbu. I have asthma and strong perfumes make me quite ill. I don't think that nursery workers should use anything more than a very light scent.

bemybebe · 18/04/2015 19:24

I think reeking of perfume is actually not very professional. I would definitely mention it to the manager.

Pastaagain78 · 18/04/2015 19:36

I Understand your point but I found it reassuring that DS had been cuddled.

MrsKravitzFromAcrossTheStreet · 18/04/2015 19:40

Yanbu. I detest strong perfumes and they give me a sick headache; I had to ban Joop and kouros in our house, even though DS's and DH like them. It really is miserable to be surrounded by a scent that is offensive to you, and any of the children in the nursery could have the same reaction as I and other PPs.

I think the people saying YABU don't really appreciate how horrible strong smells are to sensitive people. It's like an assault on the senses. It wouldn't be ok to bombard other senses in a nursery, say by blasting out loud music or having strobe lights, and to me a strong smell that you can't escape from is the same.

RusticBlush · 18/04/2015 19:40

You're going to encounter smells on your kids from all sources throughout their life - get some perspective Hmm

MrsKravitzFromAcrossTheStreet · 18/04/2015 19:42

Oh and I forgot to add, I probably wouldn't mention it in person but might send an anonymous note to the nursery.

RusticBlush · 18/04/2015 19:47

What? Like a 'poison pen' letter Grin
I've heard it all now!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 18/04/2015 19:49

It's not just a whiff of scent to some of us, it's an overwhelming assault on our senses, there have been three times in my life that I've had headaches so overwhelming painkillers wouldn't touch them and I've had to sleep them off, all caused by strong fragrances, luckily my work is such that I can generally deal with it without having to say anything or I'm sure it would have happened more often.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 18/04/2015 19:52

I am a cm and use perfume, body butter and makeup.

If a parent complained to me that their child smelt of my perfume and asked me not to use it I would give notice.

I really couldn't work with people that strange to be honest.

Op I am not sure you can make demands about the personal habits of the staff like that.

Regarding nurses. During my training the only no no was long or painted nails as these are, quite rightly, unhygienic. Absolutely no bar on makeup or perfume.

Kitkatatonia · 18/04/2015 19:53

I am a preschool manager who have up wearing perfume when I had my DCs (have started wearing it lightly again and youngest DC is 2) so really am on the fence with this one.

We don't have any children under 2 and a half so it's possibly not such an issue but having read this thread, if I ever ran a nursery with a baby room again, I probably would enforce a "no heavy scent" rule.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 18/04/2015 19:54

Anonymous letters are a vile and cowardly trick. They would also be ignored.

HicDraconis · 18/04/2015 20:07

YANBU - strong scents trigger headaches and asthma in me, I'd hate to not be able to cuddle my child at the end of the day to avoid that. I really don't like the idea of babies being exposed to all the chemicals either.

I have my clothing, jewellery (no rings, necklaces, long earrings - studs and plain wedding band only), footwear, headwear choices all dictated to me at work. I can wear what I choose out of work but in work I wear what I'm provided with from the communal stock. And I'm allergic to whatever they wash it in but I can't have my own sets and launder them at home either.

I'm not allowed to wear perfume as I'm in closeish contact with people. Not cuddle close but hands on head / neck area close.

I'd have a chat with the nursery head and explain that the strong scent your child is coming home with triggers a headache, could her key worker wear less at work please. Like you said, you are paying for a service!

Kitkatatonia · 18/04/2015 20:36

I wouldn't have a problem with a parent approaching me about this. I'd much prefer that if parents had a problem they'd share their concern. The alternative is that it can end up being something that is stewed over, and all associated the heartache could have probably be very easily remedied. If it was an unworkable request,I'dhope I had enough courage of my convictions to be able to explain why we couldn't do x but would do y an z instead. If a parent still wasn't happy, I'd understand if they wanted to find somewhere else if it was a rule-breaker (which we all have about our children!). If it is something you ate worried about, I'd share it with the nursery.

MrsKravitzFromAcrossTheStreet · 18/04/2015 21:20

I didn't say the anonymous note had to be 'vile' or 'poison pen' in nature? Confused You know, some businesses and organisations actively encourage such input. It's called a suggestion box.

OP does your nursery have a suggestion box?

StickledPink · 18/04/2015 21:41

I honestly think you are being totally PFB.

I used to work in a Nursery many years ago. I wore perfume and make up . Would you have not wanted me to care for your child because of this OP?

I can guarantee you that I never 'reeked' of perfume and neither was I 'caked' in make up. My job was to care for children and to look after them and that meant lots and lots of cuddles thrown in along the way. Inevitably, due to the close physical contact between myself and the child, my scent may well have got onto the child.

Not once, in all my years of caring for children, did any of the many parents I developed a rapport with as I was caring for their child, complain that their child 'smelt of my perfume '.
In fact, feedback was that they loved the fact that I developed such a wonderful bond with their child and that the child felt safe and secure in my presence. So much so that I'm now in contact with a lot of them even now, almost twenty years later.
Surely your concerns should be whether your child is happy or not, not whether they smell of perfume upon collection.

Agree with pyjamas, when we did our training, the main concern was long and false fingernails and large earrings, due to the health and safety of this.

V PFB.