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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get so angry about the no compromise attitude of my kids headmistress

526 replies

twinsplus1sfb · 17/04/2015 09:19

Arghhhhh - need to vent.
Situation - I have 3 kids (2 in Yr2, 1 in yr 4). They have never been abroad experienced an aeroplane different culture etc etc.
Their grandad has booked an expensive family holiday abroad, unfortunately he got mixed up with the dates and booked it for the week before half term.
I put a holiday form in and got a phone call from the school - apparently that is SATs week for my twins.
We have looked into changing the dates - no can do.
So - and here's where I get angry - I went to the head and told her the situation and asked her if there was any way we could work together around this, could the kids stay late after school one day or come in at the weekend before the SATS or come in in the half term after SATS.
I just got a flat NO to every option I suggested - she said it would affect their grades, and their whole school career. I asked if there was anything I could do - and she said "Cancel the holiday, oh and there will be a fine"
I understand that taking them out is not acceptable - but come on school - can we not compromise??? Help a little??? I dont even mind paying the fine, I'm just so upset that she cant even work with me on them taking their SATS on a different day or different time - is it really that strict? Would all of the headmistresses out there say that?
My kids have 100% attendance, they have never missed any school for holiday reasons ever before - its so peed off - and its going to ruin my holiday. Any advice? Any body had nice experiences with their heads? Is there anything I can do so that my kids can take their SATS?

OP posts:
Middlerose · 17/04/2015 21:10

MN makes me wish that more parents would home-school their children. Clearly, so many of you know so much better than the teachers, so why not just do it yourselves? Please do! Teachers do not get paid enough to deal with this kind of shit.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2015 21:17

Is laughingcow serious? The children wouldn't be taking the test at an alternative time, or the parent wouldn't be proposing this ludicrous suggestion if she weren't taking them out in term time in the first place.

Hulababy · 17/04/2015 21:22

As already said Y2 SATs are not taken at a specific time across the country. And the official result is teacher assessment, not exam based results. However, there is no way a HT will authorise an absence on the week they have chosen to do their SATs.

You have a choice - go and pay the fine, or cancel.

Hulababy · 17/04/2015 21:29

OwlinaTree Fri 17-Apr-15 09:27:05
Is it Y2 SATs? They aren't taken on a specific day by the whole country iirc. They have to be administered in May.

-----

The KS1 SATs can be held at any time in Y2:

From www.gov.uk/teacher-assessment-key-stage-1-tasks-and-tests: You can administer the tasks and tests at any time. Pupils must not to be tested more than once during the year in each subject or attainment target.

We are doing ours spread over about 4 weeks in May and June.

Hulababy · 17/04/2015 21:38

Fine in Sheffield is £60 per child per parent (not per day)

Here:
If parents/carers take their children on holiday during term time for 5 or more consecutive days and this is not authorised by the School, they can be issued with a Fixed Penalty Notice (Holiday Fine) of £60 (if paid in 21 days) or £120 (if paid between 21 and 28 days). Each parent/carer can be issued with a notice, one per parent per family, i.e. one fine per parent/carer per family, regardless of the number of children in the family.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 17/04/2015 21:41

Who are these grandparents who book random expensive holidays without checking and double checking the dates are ok for everyone?

I bet they're in the same families students have, who regularly call them home to 'deal with a family emergency' which occurred on the day of a lecture....

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/04/2015 21:43

When I was at primary school in the 1970s, parents were allowed to take their children out of school for two weeks "for a family holiday", so we went away in June. It wasn't a big issue then, and lots of people did it. So why is there such a big angst-fest about it now? I really don't think a child's education is going to suffer if they take two weeks out during primary school. We did it with ours when they were in reception and year 2 (but we were overseas at the time) - not an issue. And it doesn't seem to be a big issue in the private sector - DD1's room mate regularly misses a couple of days of school here and there to go back to Moscow for orthodontic treatment.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2015 21:53

There was no Ofsted monitoring attendance in those days.

tomatodizzymum · 17/04/2015 22:01

WOW well this makes for interesting reading, I think some people on this thread need to take a holiday...

scarlettsmummy2 · 17/04/2015 22:10

I live in Scotland and we don't have SATS, this sounds a pile of nonsense! They are seven for flips sake. I would just pay the fine and go on holiday.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 22:16

I am sure that some of the teachers in here would love to take your advice, tomato, and have the cheap time too!
I have no issue with them going- just the fact that having gone the teacher is supposed to use his/her spare time to administer the test and then be told that OP is graciously doing it for the school's benefit! (I really think that MN is an alternative universe sometimes!)
In 1970s the parent could take the child out for 10 extra days, as they could in 1990s, it was at the head teachers discretion BUT not now.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 22:19

I would have thought any grandparent would check dates before going to a lot of expense- it seems odd to just go ahead without. I would be very cross if anyone did it to me without consultation.

HermiaDream · 17/04/2015 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mehitabel6 · 17/04/2015 22:40

I can't see how wedding invitations help- it is no longer 'at the Head's discretion' in the way it used to be.

Bluestocking · 17/04/2015 22:42

Stop casting doubt on the efficacy of the wedding invite scam, Mehitabel, it's my new get-rich-quick scheme!

fedupbutfine · 17/04/2015 22:46

are you serious? teachers should use their free time and come in at weekends to help your little darlings?

I have barely seen my children this week. I have barely seen my children because I've been chasing children around school all week trying to get them to finish course work for the GCSEs. It's the same children - and their entitled parents who believe that it's my job to help them out on a one to one basis after they have had 2 years to complete a piece of work consisting of...oh, a few hundred words. 2 fucking years. 2 fucking years I've been banging on about it to the child to try and avoid this situation. 2 fucking years I've been sending e-mails and making phone calls to the parents to ask them to support their child and make sure their child has all the necessary work in place. 2 fucking long, long years.

And then that same parent has the audacity to question my professionalism, send me 15 e-mails in 3 days about what, in their expert opinion, I haven't done to support their little cherub and tell me just where I've been going wrong. In fact, by the sounds of it, mum is an expert in my field and so could quite easily do the course work with her child herself. Only no, I should stay until 5pm on a Friday to help her little darling out. 5pm on Friday when I've been in school till 5pm all week helping out more of the same little darlings who can't be arsed to do a tiny bit of work once in 2 years to secure their own fucking futures.

And you think I should also pat you on the back for having a holiday and give up my weekends with my children so that your child can fill in the gaps that you chose to make in their education? Seriously. Fuck that.

RufusTheReindeer · 17/04/2015 22:47

My mil was convinced that my children's Easter holiday was at the same time as her other grandchildrens Easter holiday

So I'm not sure she would have thought to check without booking the family holiday

So I can quite understand how a mistake could be made

It's done now, take the on holiday and make sure that everyone knows not to book future holidays before checking with you first

RufusTheReindeer · 17/04/2015 22:49

Sorry

But you being very unreasonable to expect the teachers to rearrange everything for you

It's tough

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 22:52

What "convinced" her without checking, Rufus? The idea had to come from somewhere...

fourteen · 17/04/2015 22:54

We would have plenty of kids taking the sats on an alternative day, because of absence due to sickness (or any other reason).

It absolutely is not an issue.

ReallyTired · 17/04/2015 22:57

Life will not come to an end if your kids don't sit their seats. The worst thing that will happen is that you will get fined. (1203, assuming that you are a two parent family or 603 if you are a single mother. In our lea a one week holiday would not result in a fine if your children have otherwise perfect attendance. You have to miss 21 half days before you get fined.)

In all fairness to head teachers they have lost the discretion that they once had.

RufusTheReindeer · 17/04/2015 23:08

flogging

Sorry it's late and I'm tired, I don't understand your question

My children's Easter holiday was from Good Friday until today

Her other grandchildren were off from the 30th of march til the 10th of April

It hadn't occurred to her that schools (albeit different counties) would have different holidays

AsBrightAsAJewel · 17/04/2015 23:08

Year 2 SATs aren't just plonk the child in a corner with the test paper. There is some teacher input involved and a prescribed approach of what to say and how to present the activities. In the maths paper there is an oral section where the teacher reads the questions. In the second part the teacher can read parts omitting certain words and there is an exact script to follow. The spelling tests needs all the words read to the child in part one and a script read to fill in the missing words in a piece of text for part two. There are three actual test papers to complete (Maths, Reading Comprehension and Spelling) and only one can easily be competed over a single lunchtime if the child is to actually eat any lunch. Then there are two separate writing tasks that need explaining first. i.e. lots of additional time the teacher has to find to spend with just your child/ren.

I also feel it is pretty pointless to use the tests if the children are distracted by the fact all their friends are out at play (or already gone home) as the others had very different test conditions.

At lunchtimes I have constant stream of children in and out of my classroom on the way to and from the dining hall for their lunch, collecting coats, sweatshirts, etc. if they are cold, putting them away if they are hot, getting a drink of water, finding some more paper for the quiet area. Not easy conditions to sit a test under. Yes, the grades on those tests would be impacted on the differing circumstances that they were sat under.

What I'm also trying to say it isn't just a case of the teacher gets on with eating lunch, marking books and setting up the classroom for the afternoon session with the OPs children quietly completing the test for a couple of days.

OP - if you want the holiday that much just take it, without moaning about compromise (which isn't really any compromise from your side, but you expect it all one-way from the school). In the big picture KS1 SATs are of no importance. But if you choose to break rules about term-time holidays you must expect the consequences - a possible fine.

Variousrandomthings · 17/04/2015 23:09

They do have discretion according to my county councils website but it is obviously for things like death (or other serious things) rather then holidays. It's a real shame it's so limited.

SuburbanRhonda · 17/04/2015 23:14

It's a real shame it's so limited.

It had to be changed because so many families were taking the piss and acting as if the discretionary 10 days a year was actually an entitlement that they didn't have to either request or justify.