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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DS to drink coffee?

91 replies

WoodlandSprite · 16/04/2015 06:22

DH offered Ds(5) a coffee this morning because he was playing with and reluctant to drink his hot chocolate. (He wanted a straw to drink it through.) I immediately said no, he doesn't need to start to drink coffee, he's too young. It's my immediate reaction. And now I'm trying to justify it to myself.

He is five, he resists sleep as it is, is in bed by 8, awake at 6. And I don't see the need to let him drink it. DH obviously meant to give him one which is hot milk and then a capsule of decaf in it. I have a friend who lets her 1 year old lick out her espresso cup, and another who lets her 2 year old have a mouthful or two of her coffee. I was shocked once when my Dd asked for some of her drink and she just gave her some. So he would not get more coffee than they probably do.

The Dc's drink milk/hot chocolate in the morning then water the rest of the time. DS went through a phase of refusing to drink if it wasn't ice tea (again, DH gave it to him) and it took me a while to get him to drink water again. They also sometimes drink "tea" - but a fruit tea, so an infusion rather than anything with real tea in it. Also the odd glass of fruit juice, but usuall only finishing off one of ours rather than their own.

(I don't drink coffee. Tea in the morning, a glass of orange juice during the day and then a couple more cups of tea but the rest of the time I drink water. Occasionally a glass of wine at the weekend. DH lets DD finish off his wine and beer, but that's a whole other topic...)

AIBU and too controlling over their drinks? What age is it ok for them to drink coffee/tea?

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 16/04/2015 06:26

Ds is 8 and no way would I allow him to have coffee. Tea yes but coffee has to much caffeine.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 16/04/2015 06:30

The op said it would have been decaf

Mistigri · 16/04/2015 07:03

A weak milky coffee isn't going to contain much caffeine. It's not something I'd give on a regular basis but occasionally it's not going to do any harm.

My DS loves espresso coffee! But I wouldn't let him drink it every day or in the evening.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/04/2015 07:12

I can't see what harm a very occasional decaf would do - no need for it but also no reason to get wound up about decaf as a one off / rarity.

Most young kids wouldn't like the taste of coffee so would not finish it or ask again.

Obviously giving a 5 yo a cup of caffinated coffee would not be ideal -ppossibly no worse than giving them cola though (not that OP does that).

One of my kids drank decaf tea once or twice a week for a while at about 3- he went off it after a few months.

ItsADinosaur · 16/04/2015 07:16

But it's decaf?

GGabcd · 16/04/2015 07:18

If it was decaf, why not?

hullabaloo234 · 16/04/2015 07:20

I think there is approx 2-4mg of caffeine in a decaf coffee, and 4-6 in an instant hot chocolate. both are mimal and far less than tea, coffee or chocolate solids but still caffeine non the less. if you are happy for them to drink chocolate then decaf coffee should be no different really. personal choice though

Runningupthathill82 · 16/04/2015 07:20

Don't get the problem here. It was decaf.

Madamecastafiore · 16/04/2015 07:23

You sound like the bloody refreshment gestapo!

Both my girls have had weak tea in bottles (at home or In the car as I'm a snob) due to them being milk refusers. The doctor actually suggested weak tea over hot chocolate as most hot chocolates are just loaded with sugar.

DS drinks a weak milky coffee every morning (shock horror, not even decaffeinated), he doesn't drink fizzy or fruit juice though and his ears haven't fallen off or anything dreadful so far.

You'd get more caffeine in some fizzy drinks and energy drinks than from a weak coffee. It's really not on par with crack cocaine.

Ragwort · 16/04/2015 07:24

I think you are seriously over thinking this and the more you make a fuss the more your DS will see it as something special that he would like to drink.

PureMorning · 16/04/2015 07:26

Can they have another drink in the morning?
Why is it so regimented?

Doingakatereddy · 16/04/2015 07:28

It's the 'DH allows DD to finish off wine and beer' that signals that the OP's DH seems to disregard norms for feeding kids

Decaf coffee isn't an issue, but really he doesn't need to be drinking this - warm milk with cocoa (babycino) should mollify most 5 year olds. If he's anything like my 5 Yo DS he whinge constantly for something if allowed it once. It's not fun.

But as I said, think there's more to all this!

ItsADinosaur · 16/04/2015 07:29

I work in a hospital and some of the children love a cup of weak milky tea in the morning. I always drank tea as a child.

vestandknickers · 16/04/2015 07:30

If it's decaf why ever not. It's just a milky drink.

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 07:31

Coffee and tea to be honest are adult drinks.

My DSD's best friend had to have medical help to get her off tea as she very quickly became addicted to it. She was 8.

Even if it is decaf, if they get in the habit of having coffee then at some point someone will give them a normal cup.

Over 14 ish yes - under I'd be very wary. I'd also like to see fizzy drinks banned to be honest. And energy drinks. The bane of my life.

hugoagogo · 16/04/2015 07:39

Alternative that has blown my mind; what kind of help did she need to "get her off tea"? Confused

I have been drinking tea and coffee as long as I can remember, but my dc have never been very interested until fairly recently. dd (12) ds (16)

MagelanicClouds · 16/04/2015 07:47

Tea and coffee are addictive - not to the same level as nicotine and other stronger stuff, but I have three times tried to stop drinking tea and coffee and have had to concede defeat due to crushing headaches, sweating and exhaustion. I managed to significantly cut down when preg, but that's the best I've ever managed.
I was allowed to drink as much tea and coffee as I liked from a young age and I'm sure that has made it harder to give up.
OTOH it shouldn't be a problem if it's decaf?

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/04/2015 07:49

I'm nearly 40 and when I started boarding school at age 11 (in 1986) pretty much everyone drank coffee with breakfast - don't think decaf was common then. We also had unlimited access to make our own tea, coffee (nescafe instant) and hot water+powder hot chocolate in the common room after school hours (no attempt to stop us drinking coffee before bed, though I wouldn't do that now).

I think it's only in recent years coffee has been labelled "adult" and lots of people view milky tea as absolutely a child suitable drink.

I am also rather Hmm at the idea anyone, 8 or not, needed medical help to get over a tea addiction Grin

bruffin · 16/04/2015 07:50

I remember drinking Turkish coffee as a child Blush

Decaf coffee isn't an issue, but really he doesn't need to be drinking this - warm milk with cocoa (babycino) should mollify most 5 year olds.
DD was bouncing off the walls once after a hot chocolate at 5 years old and ds had the same effect from tea when he was a bit younger. I really don't see that a hot chocolate is any better than a decaff coffee.
But saying that I don't get the angst on MN with children having coffee or tea as long as it doesn't affect their sleep

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/04/2015 07:53

Maybe it's come full circle as coffee was only for men and coffee houses were dens of iniquity when coffee was first introduced to the UK I believe. Grin

I mainline tea and also have 3 cups of proper coffee machine coffee a day but switched to decaf in all my pregnancies without any noticeable side effects (maybe they were masked by the morning sickness...)

waithorse · 16/04/2015 07:58

How old is your dd who is allowed to finish off your husband's beer and wine ?

Coldcabbagestew · 16/04/2015 08:12

One of my childhood memories is drinking milky tea out of a beaker. I went off it for years and didn't get into it again until I went to uni and had a housemate whose solution to everything was a cup of tea.

Now am happily addicted to coffee (a requirement in the medical profession)

Hakluyt · 16/04/2015 08:16

"My DSD's best friend had to have medical help to get her off tea as she very quickly became addicted"........

Eh?

Doingakatereddy · 16/04/2015 08:16

Bruffin a babycino is frothy milk with sprinkling of cocoa on top (God I sound like a middle class twat!)

Agree that hot choc is full of sugar and most coffee shop ones are likely to send kids crazy Smile

Footle · 16/04/2015 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.