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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DS to drink coffee?

91 replies

WoodlandSprite · 16/04/2015 06:22

DH offered Ds(5) a coffee this morning because he was playing with and reluctant to drink his hot chocolate. (He wanted a straw to drink it through.) I immediately said no, he doesn't need to start to drink coffee, he's too young. It's my immediate reaction. And now I'm trying to justify it to myself.

He is five, he resists sleep as it is, is in bed by 8, awake at 6. And I don't see the need to let him drink it. DH obviously meant to give him one which is hot milk and then a capsule of decaf in it. I have a friend who lets her 1 year old lick out her espresso cup, and another who lets her 2 year old have a mouthful or two of her coffee. I was shocked once when my Dd asked for some of her drink and she just gave her some. So he would not get more coffee than they probably do.

The Dc's drink milk/hot chocolate in the morning then water the rest of the time. DS went through a phase of refusing to drink if it wasn't ice tea (again, DH gave it to him) and it took me a while to get him to drink water again. They also sometimes drink "tea" - but a fruit tea, so an infusion rather than anything with real tea in it. Also the odd glass of fruit juice, but usuall only finishing off one of ours rather than their own.

(I don't drink coffee. Tea in the morning, a glass of orange juice during the day and then a couple more cups of tea but the rest of the time I drink water. Occasionally a glass of wine at the weekend. DH lets DD finish off his wine and beer, but that's a whole other topic...)

AIBU and too controlling over their drinks? What age is it ok for them to drink coffee/tea?

OP posts:

KatyN · 16/04/2015 08:25

it's not just bouncing off the walls that is a problem.. There is a link between tea/coffee and your body not being able to absorb iron.
Alas I don't know enough to say whether it is just caffeinated so this sounds like a bit of a scare story.. but I would check if you are looking for reasons why your child shouldn't have any.
k

Hakluyt · 16/04/2015 08:31

"Agree that hot choc is full of sugar and most coffee shop ones are likely to send kids crazy smile"

You do know that there is absolutely no evidence at all for chocolate or sugar having an impact on children's behaviour?

bruffin · 16/04/2015 08:33

Doingkatereddy

Sugar does not make children crazy. It is a myth and the human body does not have the mechanism for sugar to affect children that way. Its the caffeine in the chocolate that sent dd off the walls, nothing to do with sugar.

ScarlettDarling · 16/04/2015 08:34

op I completely agree, tea and coffee aren't suitable drinks for small children. Even if it was decaf, these drinks stain teeth, contain tannins and do become quite habit forming.

I agree that one decaf coffee isn't going to cause any problems at all, but if the op would prefer her child not to get a taste for coffee, then why start offering it to them?

Hakluyt · 16/04/2015 08:36

"The world is not just the UK. Plenty of children in Foreign drink milky coffee without noticeable ill-effects."

Not sure about that- they do grow up Foreign.....

Catsize · 16/04/2015 08:44

Fairly sure I read somewhere there is more caffeine in tea than standard coffee...
Anyway, the more it is forbidden, the more they will want it in some cases.
My parents gave us tiny bits of wine with Sunday lunch, sometimes diluted, from about the age of 12.
I didn't turn 18 and get all excited about alcohol and then binge drink. Maybe their plan worked, maybe I am just a model daughter?

Coconutty · 16/04/2015 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DisappointedOne · 16/04/2015 09:06

My 4 year old loves an occasional coffee. She gets a small cup of frothed warm milk with 1/3-1/2 of a shot of decaf coffee in it. She also has decaf tea on occasion. No harm in it.

DisappointedOne · 16/04/2015 09:07

There's probably more caffeine in the hot chocolate. ;)

mumeeee · 16/04/2015 10:53

When DD3 was 7 she would have a very milky tea. In fact really just milk with a splash of tea. She is now 23 and has only just started drinking coffee as she didn't like it before. DD1 and DD2 started drinking coffee in their teens. I think 5 is too young for a normal coffee but a milky decaf coffee would be fine. The hot chocolate would have more caffeine than that. In fact in our house when our DDs were small a hot chocolate would have been a treat not an every day drink.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/04/2015 11:01

I'm also wondering how old the beer and wine dregs drinking dd is - 15 or 5????

Not letting them have their own orange juice but letting them sip yours is also an unusual way of doing things... harmless of course, although likely to make them see orange juice as very desirable (we weren't allowed chocolate as kuds except strictly rationed out easter eggs/ Christmas chocolate and my father ate 100 bars of chocolate in front of us every evening - we were occassionally allowed a square if we basically sat at his feet and begged like scavenging puppies asked very politely indeed... Certainly I've grown up with a petulant desire to have as much chocolate as I want :o ) imagine...

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/04/2015 11:02

100g bars not 100 bars!

ragged · 16/04/2015 11:08

Spanish friends used to drink sugary watered-down wine at school lunchtimes. 1960-70s.

Just because it was normal then doesn't mean it was a great idea.

Regular tea has plenty of caffeine in it; heck the caffeine in a hot chocolate is enough to screw up my sleep.

Can't see why anyone would fuss over decaf drinks, though.

malefridgeblindness · 16/04/2015 11:16

Wow. There is a big cultural gap between my family and others on this thread. Ds has drunk decaf coffee since the age of 5. Probably no more than one a day.

I am reeling at the suggestion it should be hidden away from children as if it will corrupt them somehow. It is an unsweetened hot drink ffs. I let my children have hot chocolate occasionally and I don't give house room to fruit juice as it's acidic and sugary and much less healthy than water or fruit.

But making a big deal about coffee for a 5yo yanbu. I do allow ds to have a little of my espresso if we are eating out in the evening and he'll always get a coffee (decaf) in a coffee shop. There was me thinking we were normal.

tomatodizzymum · 16/04/2015 11:21

Why didn't you add more milk and give him a straw? Or give/get him a hard plastic straw?

FarFromAnyRoad · 16/04/2015 11:22

My DSD's best friend had to have medical help to get her off tea as she very quickly became addicted"........

Funniest thing ever. How did they know she was addicted? Was she mugging old ladies in the caff down the road? Lurking in the tea aisle at Sainsbury's? Racking up lines of Darjeeling and snorting it up?

Andrewofgg · 16/04/2015 11:25

I started tea at five and coffee at seven - but never with sugar which o was taught ruined both drinks. As long as they are weak don't let it worry you.

Andrewofgg · 16/04/2015 11:25

I was taught

PrivatePike · 16/04/2015 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lilymaid · 16/04/2015 11:33

I've drunk tea since the age of 5 and coffee from around 7 and never needed medical intervention for my addiction.

Andrewofgg · 16/04/2015 11:35

The urgent and important matter is to get them started on curry.

SaucyJack · 16/04/2015 11:36

I give mine (8&10) a chicory and barley coffee substitute that I get from the health food shop. I drink it meself after 4 as it's naturally caffeine free.

*Patiently waits for someone to tell me that barley is the next best thing to crystal meth.

mindexplode · 16/04/2015 11:39

I had milky tea as a child and drink a couple of cups a day now, DT asked for some tea at the age of 5, both DT have had hot choc (very watered down) from 4, only one DT likes tea and he has it very milky

tomatodizzymum · 16/04/2015 12:03

I wouldn't let my DC's have decaff. Too many added chemicals and too altered and unnatural.
I occasionally let them have coffee. Caffeine is only a problem when you're sleepy. When you need to sleep your body produces serotonin. Caffeine mimics serotonin, so it fills the brains receptors and blocks them from recieving serotonin. Resulting in you feeling awake. In the morning, if a child's had enough sleep, why not have the occasional coffee? The chemical affect wears off anyway. If they're tired or need to sleep, not so good. But what parent would want to keep a sleepy child awake anyway?

squoosh · 16/04/2015 12:08

'Fairly sure I read somewhere there is more caffeine in tea than standard coffee'

A 12oz cup of straight black tea has about 120mg caffeine

12oz coffee contains about 210mg

12oz can of coke has 34mg

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