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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DS to drink coffee?

91 replies

WoodlandSprite · 16/04/2015 06:22

DH offered Ds(5) a coffee this morning because he was playing with and reluctant to drink his hot chocolate. (He wanted a straw to drink it through.) I immediately said no, he doesn't need to start to drink coffee, he's too young. It's my immediate reaction. And now I'm trying to justify it to myself.

He is five, he resists sleep as it is, is in bed by 8, awake at 6. And I don't see the need to let him drink it. DH obviously meant to give him one which is hot milk and then a capsule of decaf in it. I have a friend who lets her 1 year old lick out her espresso cup, and another who lets her 2 year old have a mouthful or two of her coffee. I was shocked once when my Dd asked for some of her drink and she just gave her some. So he would not get more coffee than they probably do.

The Dc's drink milk/hot chocolate in the morning then water the rest of the time. DS went through a phase of refusing to drink if it wasn't ice tea (again, DH gave it to him) and it took me a while to get him to drink water again. They also sometimes drink "tea" - but a fruit tea, so an infusion rather than anything with real tea in it. Also the odd glass of fruit juice, but usuall only finishing off one of ours rather than their own.

(I don't drink coffee. Tea in the morning, a glass of orange juice during the day and then a couple more cups of tea but the rest of the time I drink water. Occasionally a glass of wine at the weekend. DH lets DD finish off his wine and beer, but that's a whole other topic...)

AIBU and too controlling over their drinks? What age is it ok for them to drink coffee/tea?

OP posts:

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 15:59

Funniest thing ever. How did they know she was addicted?

Withdrawal symptoms when she didn't have it. Not quite sure why it is so hilarious?

AlternativeTentacles · 16/04/2015 16:00

I really want AlternativeTentacles to come back and reveal more about the 8 year old tea addict

You will have to excuse me. I was working. What do you want to know exactly?

nothinglikeit · 16/04/2015 16:39

My DS was 8 before I allowed milky coffee, and he wasn't too interested before then. That was caffeinated, and I certainly don't see anything wrong with a milky decaf at age 5 if your DS wants to try it!

Footle · 16/04/2015 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumeeee · 16/04/2015 17:00

To those saying it:s okay to give 3 and 4:year olds a small amount of alcohol. Do you realise it is actually illegal to give under 5s alcohol at home.

kali110 · 16/04/2015 17:04

There is more caffeine in tea, also have ypu checked if your fruit teas are caffeine free?
I really wouldnt have had a problem with it.

kali110 · 16/04/2015 17:10

You can get an addiction to caffeine also. Small amount of caffeine can get rid of headaches, you drink too much then you get headaches. You don't have the caffeine get more headaches as your body needs the caffeine.
You can also get a tolerance too it.
When i was working in a cafe, i would drink a load of drinks, then I needed more to give me kick i needed during busy periods!
Not sure about the sugar having an effect on behaviour but if i eat a load of sugary sweets it brings on severe headaches or migraines for me.

DisappointedOne · 16/04/2015 17:28

To those saying it:s okay to give 3 and 4:year olds a small amount of alcohol. Do you realise it is actually illegal to give under 5s alcohol at home.

I'd rather DD had a sip or 2 of champagne (followed by water) a few times a year than be given coke, lucozade or other stimulant drinks or, for that matter, happy meals. I see plenty of small children being given those.

squoosh · 16/04/2015 17:31

Uh oh. It's Champagne v Happy Meals. Who's gonna win?!

DisappointedOne · 16/04/2015 17:38

youarekiddingme · 16/04/2015 17:38

My DS was born in Tenerife. He use to lick the froth of my decaf coffees from about 1 when he could do it! I'm not saying I recommend it at that age but it didn't seem to harm him. He would sip the cold bits once he could hold a cup.
Interestingly since we turned to the UK when he was 2 he never did it and now at 10yo refuses all hot drinks - always has.

He drinks, water, squash and natural fruit juices.

I think the natural reaction is nnnnoooooooooo - a child can't drink coffee but a small milkyndecaf a day is fine IMO.

namechange0dq8 · 16/04/2015 17:39

To those saying it:s okay to give 3 and 4:year olds a small amount of alcohol. Do you realise it is actually illegal to give under 5s alcohol at home.

It isn't that simple. S.5 of the 1933 Children and Young Persons Act, as amended, refers to S.191 on the 2003 Licensing Act for the definition of "alcohol". S.191(1)(a) excludes "alcohol which is of a strength not exceeding 0.5% at the time of the sale or supply in question". Most of the scenarios people talk about (a splash of fizz topped up with sparkling water, for example) would either meet that requirement, or it would fit into the "reasonable doubt" category in the unimaginable situation of it coming to trial.

eddiemairswife · 16/04/2015 17:57

I and those of my generation were probably weaned on to tea. Proper tea made in a teapot with tea leaves, and I still make it that way. When did this angst about the dire effects of tea and coffee start?

mumeeee · 16/04/2015 18:34

A splash of fizz topped up with sparkling water is probably fine then. Although I wouldn't give children of that age any alcohol and mine didn't drink cola at that age either. In fact DD3 didn't like fizzy drinks until she was about 7. Our DDs were allowed sips of our wine and beer from when they were about 10.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 16/04/2015 20:03

My DSD's best friend had to have medical help to get her off tea as she very quickly became addicted

Bwahahahahaaa! This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read! I bloody love MN

Original poster

WoodlandSprite · 16/04/2015 20:20

I was going to post and say mine don't drink fizzy drinks expect DD occasionally has bubbly water. Except it turns out that MIL has been giving DS some when she takes him out for the day. She adds some into his water bottle...which to be honest I'm a bit annoyed about.

I am completely addicted to tea - feel awful if I don't drink any in the morning, so I suppose its that that I'm worried about. I also made myself ill whilst at school drinking too much coffee to do overnighters to finish my coursework etc. and have never managed to drink it since. This might be clouding my judgement!

DS is very insistent about his breakfast - he will only eat the same breakfast, from the same bowls, same spoon and the variation is his drink. He loves using the coffee machine, so I can easily see that once he is allowed to make a coffee for himself he would refuse to drink anything else.

They get the choice every morning of what to drink. Fruit Tea (it's really an infusion, no actual tea in it so definitely caffeine free), cold/hot milk, hot chocolate, water, juice. DD was a milk refuser and she only started drinking milk when we mixed in a bit of chocolate powder, now it's all she wants to drink! They usually choose hot chocolate.

We give them the rest of our juice because they never drink a full glass and I got fed up of throwing it away. We don't have fizzy/energy/squash drinks in the house because DH and I rarely drink them so it never occurs to me to buy them.

OP posts:

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