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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 8 month old for 3 days while i holiday with pals..

92 replies

TaytoCrisp · 14/04/2015 22:17

A group of my oldest pals are planning a few days away together in the sun. I'd like to go for 3 days/2 nights (i dont see them often having moved to another country). However, i have a little 8 month old, who has not yet been without mummy for a whole day before. DH would look after her, and is very good/hands on...she will also be off the boob by then, so feeding wont be an issue.. I just feel uncomfortable leaving such a small little lady for that long, and wonder if its a bit selfish. She might wonder where i am and feel a bit anxious? So AIBU to head off to the sun for a few days? I am on mat. leave at present so look after her all day usually..

OP posts:
keepsmiling2015 · 14/04/2015 22:21

YANBU at all. You're not selfish either. She'll be happy and safe with her dad. X

Sandbrook · 14/04/2015 22:23

You deserve a break on your own, go for it

GraysAnalogy · 14/04/2015 22:23

YANBU at all. Enjoy yourself! A refreshed mum will do her good as well as you.

It's completely natural to feel nervous or uncomfortable, but you are defo not selfish.

Bowlersarm · 14/04/2015 22:26

YANBU.,she'll be in good hands with her dad. Go and enjoy yourself.

eurochick · 14/04/2015 22:28

Go for it. I have a baby that age and have left her overnight a few times and once for four nights (all for work). It was hard, but not as hard as I expected.

StickledPink · 14/04/2015 22:29

You aren't selfish at all but as a mother of a 4 year old and 9 month old , I couldn't do it as I would miss them too much.

Seriously, it's not really for that long and your DC will be with her Dad.

It's not like your going away with her Dad for two or three weeks and leaving her. DH and I know a couple who left their 7 week old to go to New Zealand for nearly three weeks, but that's another story!

Enjoy yourself and have a drink for me OP :)

littleblackno · 14/04/2015 22:29

I went away for a few days when my dd was 8months old and ds was 2. I loved it and came back feeling relaxed and refreshed. I enjoy the time I have away from them and think it makes me appreciate them when I return. Nothing to feel guilty about.

Pico2 · 14/04/2015 22:36

I think 8 months is a key time for developing a secure attachment, so your baby might miss you more than she would have done at 6 months.

GraysAnalogy · 14/04/2015 22:38

It's 3 days not 3 months. Babies develop secure attachments without seeing people everyday.

Dieu · 14/04/2015 22:39

Absolutely go for it and have the best time!

Morelikeguidelines · 14/04/2015 22:43

Yanbu. If you think you would enjoy it then go. It will be nice for.Dh to have some.solo bonding time with her.

I left.5 month.old ds.with dh for 4 days while.dd.and.I went to a family wedding away. He was fine (he's now 13 months. He was.mixed fed.at.the time and I.exexpressed while away so don't feel it.would prevent you going if still breastfeeding some of.the.time by then.

Sorry for.all the.full stops - my.phone is.behaving oddly.

Ellypoo · 14/04/2015 23:04

YADNBU - go, you will miss her, but won't do any harm at all, will be good for you.

SingSongSlummy · 14/04/2015 23:06

Do it! I went to a wedding in Italy when DD1 was seven months and still partially breastfeeding. I had a great time despite having to 'pump and dump' all over the place!

MozzchopsThirty · 14/04/2015 23:10

Yes go and enjoy!
I have a grown up holiday and a family 'holiday' Grin every year!
It keeps me sane

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 14/04/2015 23:15

Do it YANBU. I thought I would miss mine when I had a 4 day trip when they were 6 and 2 but OMG, the relaxation of actually having 'time off' being a parent was amazing. Didn't love them any less but a total recharge of the batteries.

PatriciaHolm · 14/04/2015 23:22

Go! She'll be with her other, perfectly capable, loving parent. You aren't abandoning her at the side of the road ;-)

Original poster
TaytoCrisp · 14/04/2015 23:32

Thanks very much ladies! I'm feeling much better about it. I will definitely miss her an awful lot, but I would also really like to see my friends, and it is important to nurture old friendships too. I only hope she will be ok if she is going through the attachment phase mentioned by a previous poster.. and that it wouldn't distress her too much.. Poor little thing.. But if I felt she was secure enough I could enjoy myself. Funny that dh regularly goes away for work for a few nights without batting an eyelid!

OP posts:
funkybuddah · 14/04/2015 23:38

Yanbu I did it when dc2 was a similar age. Left with their dad I didn't see any issue at all, he's their parent too.

Stinkersmum · 14/04/2015 23:50

Yanbu. I looked after a friend's 6 month old ds for a long weekend so her and her then army serving husband could get some quality time together. They missed him very much and called everyday. Baby was fine - he's now a strapping 15 year old with no particular attachment or separation issues!

Sillysausage2 · 14/04/2015 23:52

Go for it, I went to NY for 4 days when LO was 9 months, I missed her but it was also amazing to have some time to feel like myself again

Original poster
TaytoCrisp · 14/04/2015 23:57

Thanks for all the stories of others heading off without any negative repercussions. I'm pretty sure I will go nowSmile

OP posts:
applecharlotte · 15/04/2015 08:00

Go! I did two nights away on a course when my DS was 7 months old. He went with DP to stay at his mums. It did feel strange, like I'd left my arm behind but the two delicious full nights sleep were amazing. A couple of people on the course were a bit Hmm when I told them I had a 7 month old. But like everyone else said he was with his dad!

Andrewofgg · 15/04/2015 08:09

Do it - she will enjoy it, you will enjoy it, DH will enjoy it. Win, win, win.

PippaPug · 15/04/2015 08:34

I'm a nanny and have looked after a couple of babies since they were little when parents have gone away for up to a week, she will be fine!
It's the sweetest thing when the parents walk in and little ones face just lights up!

TenerifeSea · 15/04/2015 09:01

Do it! It will be great for you. It will also be really good for her and DH to have some bonding time. Yes, you will miss her but it's only a few days and you're likely to feel so wonderful afterwards.

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