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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 8 month old for 3 days while i holiday with pals..

92 replies

TaytoCrisp · 14/04/2015 22:17

A group of my oldest pals are planning a few days away together in the sun. I'd like to go for 3 days/2 nights (i dont see them often having moved to another country). However, i have a little 8 month old, who has not yet been without mummy for a whole day before. DH would look after her, and is very good/hands on...she will also be off the boob by then, so feeding wont be an issue.. I just feel uncomfortable leaving such a small little lady for that long, and wonder if its a bit selfish. She might wonder where i am and feel a bit anxious? So AIBU to head off to the sun for a few days? I am on mat. leave at present so look after her all day usually..

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 15/04/2015 11:32

At 8 months a baby main source of food is breastmilk.

That's very much up to individual parents, isn't it? Confused

BuntCadger · 15/04/2015 11:33

Gosh defensive much? being a mother isn't my only validation but bring a mother is my priority. I would assume (clearly wrongly for some) that it was the same for most

BuntCadger · 15/04/2015 11:36

onlylovers actually it's clearly evidenced in research.

GraysAnalogy · 15/04/2015 11:37

People are going to be defensive when you come out with things like that to be fair.

Being a mother is a priority, and just because someone would like a bit of freedom for the first time in 17 months doesn't mean any different.

OfaFrenchMind · 15/04/2015 11:38

If you cannot have 3 days to yourself when your baby is 8month old, it's not a priority anymore, it's martyrdom.

OnlyLovers · 15/04/2015 11:38

Bunt, let's say someone is not breastfeeding and hasn't done so at all, from birth. In that case their baby's main source of food is NOT breastmilk, is it?

Unless what you mean is that 'at 8 months a baby main source of food should be breastmilk.' Which is your personal opinion.

I'm not defensive, BTW; I'm not a parent so don't have anything to be defensive about.

nobodyknowswheremyjonnyhasgone · 15/04/2015 11:39

YANBU AT ALL. It will be good for you and good for your DH and DD. Win win.

nobodyknowswheremyjonnyhasgone · 15/04/2015 11:40

YANBU. Great for you, great for DH and DD. Enjoy!

WorraLiberty · 15/04/2015 11:40

YANBU OP

Go and enjoy yourself. Your baby really won't remember and anyway, if you had to go to hospital or something, she and your DH would manage.

UnbelievableBollocks · 15/04/2015 11:40

I'd definitely go for it.

If BF-ing is an issue then you could always do what my friend did, which was take a pump and express so you don't get too swollen. Your baby will survive perfectly well for 3 days on expressed or formula.

Have a great time - absence makes the heart grow fonder, and having a break, having some fun and recharging your batteries sounds like a jolly good idea to me.

BuntCadger · 15/04/2015 11:43

Lol martyrdom. OP will do as she pleases. She has plenty of each to their own luvvies patting her back and reassuring her to go as they would/have/etc. This is an AIBU and yup I think she is. I guess that reflects that I think those who would are too. So you don't agree with me, that's fine. If you want to brand me as a martyr to make your choice seem more palatable go ahead.

MrsCookieMonster · 15/04/2015 11:43

BuntCadger - Being a mother can be your priority but it doesn't mean you need to be with your child 24/7 or that you need to breastfeed them up to 2 years, just because that is your narrow definition doesn't mean it is other peoples.
Tayto - love the name Smile of course you should go and have a great time.

BuntCadger · 15/04/2015 11:44

Why are you here then onlylovers? This is a parenting site

EatShitDerek · 15/04/2015 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuntCadger · 15/04/2015 11:45

That's not my definition cookies and yes it would be narrow if it was just that. It is that and much more.

EatShitDerek · 15/04/2015 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OfaFrenchMind · 15/04/2015 11:47

Luvvies ... snort, CuntBadger, you are the saddest (and funniest) thing I have seen today. Keep on the good work!

mrsdavidbowie · 15/04/2015 11:47

Did 5 days in NY when dd was 8 months.
Had a great time. Didn't call home either.

OnlyLovers · 15/04/2015 11:53

Why are you here then onlylovers? This is a parenting site

OK, Bunt, I'll sling my hook then, shall I? Hmm

UnbelievableBollocks · 15/04/2015 11:55

bunt there's loads of posters on here who don't have children. Always have been, always will be.

squoosh · 15/04/2015 11:58

Why are you here then onlylovers? This is a parenting site

Stop being such an unpleasant cow.

BuntCadger · 15/04/2015 11:59

If you like anylovers Biscuit

OnlyLovers · 15/04/2015 12:00

Thank you, Bollocks and squoosh. Thanks

But it's fine, Bunt; I've got a thick skin too, at least in the face of posters making comments like yours.

squoosh · 15/04/2015 12:01

It's only two nights and she'll be in the more than capable hands of her other parent. If you think you'll enjoy yourself then go and have a great time, if you think you'll spend the whole time fretting then maybe wait a few months longer.

Nervo · 15/04/2015 12:04

I went away for two weekends when dc1 was 6 months old and a three night stint when she was 9 months old.

I did worry loads about the damage it might do to her. I was still b/fing and had to pump a lot whilst away so ease discomfort.

I didn't leave dc2 until he was 18 months old. Dh had to force me to go as I didn't want to leave him. I'm so glad he did though because looking back, these breaks away helped my mental health enormously.