To leave 8 month old for 3 days while i holiday with pals..

[TaytoCrisp]

A group of my oldest pals are planning a few days away together in the sun. I'd like to go for 3 days/2 nights (i dont see them often having moved to another country). However, i have a little 8 month old, who has not yet been without mummy for a whole day before. DH would look after her, and is very good/hands on...she will also be off the boob by then, so feeding wont be an issue.. I just feel uncomfortable leaving such a small little lady for that long, and wonder if its a bit selfish. She might wonder where i am and feel a bit anxious? So AIBU to head off to the sun for a few days? I am on mat. leave at present so look after her all day usually..

Bunt stop being so bloody rude. It's not just a site for parents.

Op have a great time

If you feel OK doing it then it will probably give your dh a lot of confidence in looking after your dd and strengthen their relationship.

Even if the OP were still breastfeeding at 8 months (no, I'm not defensive and no one has "struck a nerve", I bf all mine until they self-weaned at various points between 20 months and 38 months) then there's no reason she couldn't take off for a couple of nights at that stage and still maintain her supply. So WHO recommendations wouldn't be a good reason to veto the trip.

As it is, though, the OP has already decided (for her own reasons completely unrelated to the trip) that she wants to wean before 8 months and that is entirely her own choice. So WHO recommendations are even less of a good reason to veto the trip. Given that only 34% of babies in the UK are getting any breastmilk at all at six months (according to the last Infant Feeding Survey), it's clearly not the case as a general rule (let alone "clearly evidenced") that "at 8 months a baby main source of food is breastmilk".

And while it's not impossible that her DD could be hitting separation anxiety around 8 months, 10 to 12 months would be far more typical (it's certainly when all of mine did it, and a quick Google to check whether they were unusual reveals that that's pretty standard).

I don't see that the OP giving up her trip to stay home with her formula-feeding, not-suffering-from-separation-anxiety-at-all daughter because the WHO say you should bf to two years and some stranger she met on the Internet had children who hit separation anxiety earlier than average would be in any way rational.

bunt, I think the essence of what you're saying is fine. The problem is that you're deciding what other people should do. That in itself is unreasonable. In general, I agree with your assessment as it applies to my own situation. It would have felt utterly, completely wrong to leave my 8 month old. Either of them. They both relied mostly on breast milk, one of them had terrible separation anxiety and it felt anathema to me to be separated from them at that young age. Even for a few hours.

I can say all of the above as it pertains to my methods, my children. What other people decide to do is their business. I don't judge other people for doing differently. There's a right way for me, just as there's a right way for them.

I shall be leaving my (currently unborn) baby when she is three months old OP. I'm buggering off to Spain for four days and leaving her and my two year old with their Dad. I don't see the problem tbh. I will miss them all dreadfully but it's four days.

My (ff) son was left with me for four days at three months and I enjoyed it and he seemed to as well!

I left my three month old baby for a week when I went to Portugal, she stayed with my parents. I messed her terribly but had a lovely, much needed relaxing break and my mum got to be very hands on and loved every minute.

My daughter is now 21 and has suffered no ill effects and no issues with bonding etc. She is just about to go to America for three months and I'll be heartbroken but very proud of her.

Do what feels right for you (and have a fab time when you get there!)

OP - go! My DH and I went to NYC when our DS was 4 months old. My parents loved having the chance to look after DS and we had a fab time. In your case your baby will be with its other parent whilst you're away, and I'm sure it'll be an important bonding time for them both.
In my experience those who condemn mothers in this situation (and sideline the role of fathers) are motivated by a psychological need to show how important they are which rarely reflects the reality of the situation. Don't let their use of guilt / fear put you off going away.

I webt to NY for 5 days when my LO was 9 months old. Her granny looked after her. We had a ball, they had a ball. All was well.

Do it! I had to go on two work trips when DD1 was 8 months old, and she was absolutely fine. I think I missed her more than she missed me!

By the way, I was still breastfeeding then and despite the hassle of frozen milk, expressing on the go etc. it was still absolutely fine. I still bf until 20 months!

Go and don't feel bad! You need 'me' time before returning to work anyway. DP went abroad for a week with his friends when dd was 2 months old and it did us both good

Thanks so much all! I feel very encouraged, and much less guilty. I also think two nights away would be good in terms of overall health and wellbeing. |Of course I adore my little lady and her big sis but its pretty full-on with domestic tasks at the moment and I feel like I could do with getting a little time away to clear my head a bit. Thanks for all the very sensible comments!

Go for it, enjoy yourself, she will be well looked after!