to not trust this 'helpful' stranger in the mountains?

[SummerOfLadybirds]

I've fallen out with a close friend and want to know who was BU.
We went camping in Lake District recently. We're experienced hikers so had all correct gear, provisions, torches, map, compass etc. We planned to stay in proper campsites as my friend hates wild camping. On 2nd day decided to leave marked routes as felt confident we could navigate. (The paths are too busy in good weather, we both wanted to hike in wilderness). At first it was fine, we went high up and didn't see anyone for hours. To cut a long story short we then lost the compass, got disorientated and got lost!! My friend started freaking out and worrying we'd have to camp in mountains if we couldn't find way down. I said that was fine, we had tent, food, clothes etc, we could set up camp and find way down in morning but she said she wanted a shower and a proper loo (and was scared of 'ghosts'!) I said its too dangerous to try and descend once its dark, she got in a massive strop.

Meanwhile for a couple of hours, despite seeing nobody all day, we'd both noticed a man in camouflage gear popping up in different places nearby. Once he was in front of us, once he was chilling by a rock, another time he was behind us. He didn't acknowledge us but he wasn't that close. We assumed he was just enjoying nature, going in same direction as us.

When the light began to fade, my friend got really scared and insisted we keep walking and suddenly we almost bumped into this man as we came around a boulder!! He said hi and asked where we were going, my friend started to blurt out we were lost, but I didn't want to seem vulnerable so I cut in and said 'we're not really lost' and made out she was joking. He was friendly but something didn't feel quite right and I felt we WERE vulnerable, 2 petite women and this guy (he was very tall and muscular, had a big army-style rucksack and just seemed a bit 'odd'). He offered to guide us down but I was worried he might lead us somewhere even more remote, so I told him thanks but we didn't need his help and was very assertive in not wanting to walk with him.
We carried on, I was freaked out now because of the man, and my friend was petrified of being on mountain in night and not speaking to me because i'd refused his help.
Anyway we did make it off the mountain (in the dark) and finally got to a campsite at 2am.

My friend is still furious that I wouldn't let this man help us. I still think he could have done anything to us, like leading us further off-route in the dark and raping us.

MiscellaneousAssortment Fri 17-Apr-15 04:48:04
Ouch poor OP, was with the gentle poking of fun but dramatically turning conjecture into facts to beat the OP with and make them sound utterly rubbish, well, seems a bit mean really.

The trouble is the situation is one that could very easily turn dangerous and put the OP at risk. The fact is the OP thinks she is experienced and that's the very thing that puts her at risk so she does need it drumming into her that shes not as experienced as she thinks she is.

If you were to do a risk assessment - complete with probabilities of things happening - in the cold light of day, I wonder what the sensible option would be?

Gut instinct is great. But gut instinct can get you into a lot of trouble in the mountains.

But there's ghosts on them there hills.

The ghosts of people who've walked off the edge in the dark.

Thank you black rider i will look into that. :)

'I think it's a save bet to assume that any stranger out walking in the mountains will not mean you any harm'

Really?? This doesn't make sense. Why is someone trustworthy just because they happen to be walking in mountains? As far as I'm aware, anyone can choose to hike in Lake District. That means people with criminal records, personality disorders, drug problems, history of sex attacks/GBH etc ... there is nothing to stop them walking in mountains too. I'm not saying they deliberately look for lone female hikers, but you can't rule it out just because an attack hasn't occurred yet. Some men might be opportunistic and take advantage of a situation where women seem vulnerable.
IMO best not to play the damsel-in-distress card when you're somewhere remote and far from help!
OP and friend had food, water, warm clothes, tent, protection from elements, torches, moonlight etc. They could have camped anywhere and been fine even if temp was below zero. Even if they'd taken all night to descend, they had enough kit to stay warm, dry and safe. I assume they weren't walking along narrow ledges or scrambling in dark, so what's the worst that could have happened?? Eventually they would have got down even with no map or compass.

caspian

I don't think I've ever heard of an attack happening in the mountains in the UK.

Yet there are plenty of people walking about alone in the hills.

Her instinct could have led to her falling off the edge of a cliff.

Until Suzie Lampard was murdered, I had never heard of an estate agent attacked whilst showing someone round a house.
The risk of being attacked in the hills may be a very low one, but it still exists. And it makes sense to trust your gut instinct about people you meet.

Orlando we all know her decision to go wandering about the hills at night, was the wrong one. This was poor decision making. Very different from the instinctive feeling we get about whether to trust someone or not.

Yes - but if you are lost, it's late, you have no compass and then someone offers to show you the way down, I think that's a bit different.

And if he wanted to attack them - he would have done. No one around. Dead easy.

Walking off by themselves did not make them safer.

How would camping have stopped her being attacked?

If you go walking in the mountains, you are vulnerable. Carrying expensive equipment,money and often no one around. Yet many many people do it.

Camping would have been a good option. Better than walking lost in the dark without a compass. They were lucky nothing happened.

Of course, they could have asked the person to show them where they were on the map.

That often helps. Knowing where you are.

The real message is don't go in a pair.

3 is better - then you have a majority decision. If there's 2, you just have arguments.

I remember having a 1/2 hr argument with 2 others about where we were in the Everest region. Do we cross the bridge, stay in this side of the river or turn round? And the maps didn't help. Having 3 people helped make a majority decision.

well, this thread has moved on a bit!

I accept we were irresponsible not to have a spare compass and to leave marked paths, and descending in dark was not safest choice. It was a snap-decision, that ultimately paid off since we got down safely. The descent wasn't difficult, we had good visibility and head-torches (yes we did have spare batteries!) and wouldn't have attempted it if there was a risk of falling off edge of a cliff.

However it did not take us 9 hours to get off the mountain (not sure where that came from)! We didn't start descent until around 7pm. Before that I still thought I could convince friend to camp where we were, and we were still arguing over it when the man appeared and offered to guide us. It took us around 4 hours to get to Coniston (via Walna Scar road), then another 3 hours hike to Ambleside where we had advance-booking for campsite.

My friend phoned last night, we talked it all through, both apologised and made up. We even managed to laugh about it! She said she felt uneasy about the man too, though at time she was more scared of having to camp on mountain and wasn't thinking straight. She said he had strange eyes and that he looked annoyed when I refused his help, she felt there was something a bit sinister about him, and all the way down she was worried he might be following us. So I think we made right decision not to trust him.

I disagree with posters who are saying that you should always trust people in mountains. Mountains are less populated so statistically attacks will be rare in comparison to towns and cities, but it doesn't mean everyone in mountains has good intentions.

You walked down the hill and arrived in Coniston at 11pm.

Then walked to Ambleside.

That is impressive. Or a bit mad. I'd have found a field and camped there and then.

I disagree with posters who are saying that you should always trust people in mountains

People aren't saying that. But it is sensible sometimes to accept help offered in what could be a dangerous situation. Otherwise the outcome could be a whole lot worse.

I'm even more confused op, at what time did you lose your compass? Why didn't you start to descend as soon as you realised you had lost your compass, surely you realised that leaving it until 7pm was way to late at this time of year?