to not trust this 'helpful' stranger in the mountains?

[SummerOfLadybirds]

I've fallen out with a close friend and want to know who was BU.
We went camping in Lake District recently. We're experienced hikers so had all correct gear, provisions, torches, map, compass etc. We planned to stay in proper campsites as my friend hates wild camping. On 2nd day decided to leave marked routes as felt confident we could navigate. (The paths are too busy in good weather, we both wanted to hike in wilderness). At first it was fine, we went high up and didn't see anyone for hours. To cut a long story short we then lost the compass, got disorientated and got lost!! My friend started freaking out and worrying we'd have to camp in mountains if we couldn't find way down. I said that was fine, we had tent, food, clothes etc, we could set up camp and find way down in morning but she said she wanted a shower and a proper loo (and was scared of 'ghosts'!) I said its too dangerous to try and descend once its dark, she got in a massive strop.

Meanwhile for a couple of hours, despite seeing nobody all day, we'd both noticed a man in camouflage gear popping up in different places nearby. Once he was in front of us, once he was chilling by a rock, another time he was behind us. He didn't acknowledge us but he wasn't that close. We assumed he was just enjoying nature, going in same direction as us.

When the light began to fade, my friend got really scared and insisted we keep walking and suddenly we almost bumped into this man as we came around a boulder!! He said hi and asked where we were going, my friend started to blurt out we were lost, but I didn't want to seem vulnerable so I cut in and said 'we're not really lost' and made out she was joking. He was friendly but something didn't feel quite right and I felt we WERE vulnerable, 2 petite women and this guy (he was very tall and muscular, had a big army-style rucksack and just seemed a bit 'odd'). He offered to guide us down but I was worried he might lead us somewhere even more remote, so I told him thanks but we didn't need his help and was very assertive in not wanting to walk with him.
We carried on, I was freaked out now because of the man, and my friend was petrified of being on mountain in night and not speaking to me because i'd refused his help.
Anyway we did make it off the mountain (in the dark) and finally got to a campsite at 2am.

My friend is still furious that I wouldn't let this man help us. I still think he could have done anything to us, like leading us further off-route in the dark and raping us.

[ragged]

2am is friggin' late. That was very not safe.

I don't understand why you didn't confess your problem & share notes on where you were on the map with other gent, isn't that the normal mountain thing??

[Nemosdaughter]

Just move on with the friendship and once the stress has passed you will laugh about it.

[RedToothBrush]

Just wanted to say I have a great grid reference app on my phone which is an absolute godsend if so what ever reason you end up without a compass. It works even with no phone signal. I highly recommend it as a backup.

Until your battery runs out or gets wet.

There is a reason that mobile phones are not recommended for this purpose.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I don't have anything useful to say but I love that your friend is scared of ghosts but not random strangers in camo. Her risk assessment is a little... off.

[pictish]

Good point Terry

[IggyStrop]

You were very foolish to wander around in the dark. If one of you fell and got hurt what would've happened then? You would've had to leave the hurt person to find help, and with your navigation skills the person would've had to survive by eating their own limbs or something.

Anyway, probably not much point rehashing what you already know. I don't think I'd want to go hiking with your friend again. What ghosts are these that wander in the wilderness, while making a point of avoiding campsites? Or has she seen Blair Witch Project too many times?

[MerryMarigold]

pictish, I agree. That's why I said they should have taken the help or camped. Not messed around in the dark. But I can't see what is so dangerous about setting up camp. It gets light very early if they wanted to set out again in the light.

[MerryMarigold]

And of the 2 options, Help From Odd Camo Man or Camp. I'd have gone for camp.

[chocolatelife]

But if they had camped the odd man or the ghost might have attacked.!
I can imagine the odd man might attack at any time day or night

[lemonyone]

Summer - I would have been seriously cheesed off if I hadn't been able to camp safely because of entirely random and rather pathetic ghost fears and a need for a proper loo. You are totally fair enough to be annoyed by that.

I don't think you should be wild hiking again with her in a hurry, and I would consider going on some kind of survival course yourself. If you'd thought about it properly for a nanosecond, staying put and camping would have been the far more sensible option. Even with all those ghosts around the place.

[Fromparistoberlin73]

you might want to change your hobby ladies! Both are BU, and both NBU- this is a rare one when i can see both sides to be honest

[chrome100]

I think YABU and slightly hysterical. 99.9999% recurring this guy was just a nice, normal bloke out for a stroll. Are you always this suspicious?

[BackOnPlanetEarth]

It wouldn't have crossed my mind that the guy would have been dangerous even if he was 'odd'. It all sounds a bit silly really.

I think you were daft and even a bit reckless not to accept his help. The chances of you having an accident are about a kazillion time more than the chances of being murdered by the odd man.

The problem with getting into problems when you are out hiking is that you potentially put other peop,e at risk if they have to come and rescue you.

[justonemoretime2p]

I would have trusted him.

[ShatnersBassoon]

Nutters wear camo. It's a well known fact in crime fiction. I bet camo nutter's compass was secure, like every experienced hiker's should be.

You should have accepted the help really. What could one man do to two fit women armed with knives and various other sharp camping things?

[sakura]

I agree with MerryMarigold.

Other than a large creepy man, what could possibly pose as a worse danger to two women alone on a mountain????
Ghosts is the only other possible answer, as she suggested.

[Satsumafairy]

Well you were literally stuck between a rock and a hard place weren't you OP? I totally understand where both of you are coming from. You felt uneasy about him and she didn't, simple as that really.

I don't know what I'd have done but I do know 2 people who were attacked after accepting help from well meaning strangers, one at a festival and one at a bus stop. Both said they did feel uneasy about the whole situation but were too embarrassed to extricate themselves. That has made me view things slightly differently even though I am a very trusting person by nature.

[sakura]

Men murder women all the fricken time.

Men murdering women happens way more often than women falling off mountains or being eaten by wild animals.

[Satsumafairy]

I certainly don't think either of you were being silly or hysterical. No one here has any way of knowing what would have happened if you had gone with him.

[RedToothBrush]

The man was confronted by two women clearly out of their depth, a long way from a camp site, arguing about ghosts and proper loos and lying about whether they are lost and he's the one who gets labelled as 'odd' and viewed with suspicion.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I would have been worried fuckin' terrified but I'm of an anxious personality who would never enjoy camping even if I had Ray Mears keeping watch.

I'd have clocked him as a wannabe nutter from 'Wolf Creek' albeit it a limp version based in the Lake District.

[TheMagnificientFour]

If I had been walking WITH a tent and got lost, I would have just found a place to pitch the tent. What's the point of making your way down at 2.00am and risking breaking your neck when you can have some sleep first?

I would have been worried about a man that seemed to have been near us all the time, esp in a place where you aren't 'suposed' to be. ie if you go off track, there is no reason why someone will follow the same route, esp if you were actually lost! So on that pov, I would agree.

My main point though is that I don't think you are as good hikers as you said you were. The Lake District isn't so big that you are completely lost if yu just follow a stream downwards (Very different in Scotland for example).
Your fiend reaction shows taht she certainly wasn't confident abut being off track and next time, I would stick to more well known route.

[chocolatelife]

i dont know why you had the tent and didnt use it on the mountain.

[RedToothBrush]

Men do murder women 'all the time'.

However they virtually always are known to their victim.

But don't let a statistic like that get in the way of scaring people.

When WAS the last time you heard about the murder of two female hikers in the Lake District? Oh I suppose it doesn't make the news as it 'happens all the time'.

[CaTsMaMmA]

I think your worst error of judgement was going camping with someone who got hysterical about not having a proper toilet, a shower and is afraid of ghosts.

I'd also quibble about your claims to be proficient hikers and campers and navigators.
You do realise gallivanting off on a whim is extremely risky, and not just to yourselves?

Both of you behaved ridiculously. And made a whole series of poor decisions.

Are you still friends?