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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in thinking the National Autistic Society should know better and to complain loudly?

140 replies

PissedAS · 13/04/2015 20:28

This morning I got an email from 'Lucy, mother of Max' titled 'Fancy a coffee?'. I was so surprised. I couldn't think who Lucy or Max were but assumed it must be one of the mums from DS's nursery. I was very excited, opened it up only to find it's fundraising spam from the National Autistic Society.

Why would they do that? They have my details because I've had dealings with them because I am autistic. Like too many autistic people I've never had a friend. Ever. I've never been invited for coffee. Never been to a party other than family, and they often forget me. I've spent my whole life alone, apart from DH and DS. I am crippled by loneliness.

I'm finding it quite difficult to write this without bursting into tears. I think they've done a really shitty thing. Surely they of all people should know better than to use imaginary offers of friendship in this way. It reminds me of school when party invites were given out and I'd be given an empty envelope and then be laughed at.

OP posts:
18yearstooold · 13/04/2015 20:32

You are right, that is very shitty and I I think it was a natural assumption to think it was someone from nursery

I've had bits from them before and they do very much seem to target parents with children that have ASD but surely they realise that that isn't their only audience

Very poor of them

whentheshithitsthefan · 13/04/2015 20:34

Ah man that sucks massively.
Pm me. I will happily be your friend if you want me!

pushmepullyou · 13/04/2015 20:35

Where are you based OP? I would love to go for a coffee with you Smile

tethersend · 13/04/2015 20:37

That is a really shitty thing to do.

Misguided at best.

I'm sorry it made you feel bad. For what it's worth, it would have made me feel bad too.

Can we tweet them this thread?

TheSkyIsAwake · 13/04/2015 20:37

I have no friends either. If you're near mk or northampton feel free to PM me Smile

VotePedroPony · 13/04/2015 20:38

That is really thoughtless, how awful for you. I'm another one who'd love to go for a coffee with you!

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 13/04/2015 20:39

How hurtful ! Presumably just as bad if received by a parent of a child with AS who doesn't get many invites? Who would it NOT offend or upset?

NatashaRomanov · 13/04/2015 20:39

I can't imagine how tough that was for you. But I feel awful for you :(
No one should be that lonely.
Maybe not in the spirit of AIBU, but have a virtual hug from a stranger.

AntiHop · 13/04/2015 20:40

Yanbu that is really tactless Flowers

Cantbelievethisishappening · 13/04/2015 20:40

Flowers Cake Brew I'll go for a coffee with you to depending on were you are Smile

geekymommy · 13/04/2015 20:41

That's terrible!

ahbollocks · 13/04/2015 20:41

Hurtful. Yanbu

ReallyTired · 13/04/2015 20:42

I am sorry that you have been sent such a thoughtless email. I agree it is completely shitty. I feel its really important for the National Autistic Society to know how their spam made you feel.

Lots of people who have autistic children are autistic themselves as autism has strong genetic link. If they are trying to target parents of children with autism then its very likely that an autistic person will answer the email.

ACSlater · 13/04/2015 20:42

I'll go for coffee too! And cake Grin Let me know where you are!

timelyreminder · 13/04/2015 20:42

YANBU. That's really insensitive of them.

Welshmaenad · 13/04/2015 20:42

If you live near me, OP, I too would love to go for coffee with you. Cake, too. I finish uni for summer in five weeks and will be at a loose end every day till the kids break up in July.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 13/04/2015 20:42

It reminds me of school when party invites were given out and I'd be given an empty envelope and then be laughed at
Oh that's just vicious. You poor thing. Kids can be vile.

MsCake · 13/04/2015 20:43

Come for coffee with me if you're in Kent or London! That email was really poorly thought through.

Springtimemama · 13/04/2015 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProudAS · 13/04/2015 20:44

I've not had that one. I did get one about how friends and family could help.

The NAS should know better although it is just possible that the account was set up by someone on the spectrum who has difficulty communicating etc.

Springtimemama · 13/04/2015 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldmandra · 13/04/2015 20:45

I think you should forward the email to this email address

[email protected]

with a copy of your OP.

To be fair, the people employed to raise funds probably have little or no understanding of autism but that doesn't mean they can't apologise and put it right.

ProudAS · 13/04/2015 20:45

Are you in the south west midlands OP?

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 13/04/2015 20:46

It's bad of them to send that - I don't think they've thought about it properly. Where are you based? I'll happily have a coffee with you too.

I had an email from a premature baby charity saying "imagine being in hospital with your baby on mother's day" they know I had a preemie as that's how they have my details, they know it was recent too. Sometimes they really misjudge things

MrsTedCrilly · 13/04/2015 20:46

YANBU, they're not very understanding of their audience.. From someone you would hope 'gets it' the most Sad

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