in thinking the National Autistic Society should know better and to complain loudly?

[PissedAS]

This morning I got an email from 'Lucy, mother of Max' titled 'Fancy a coffee?'. I was so surprised. I couldn't think who Lucy or Max were but assumed it must be one of the mums from DS's nursery. I was very excited, opened it up only to find it's fundraising spam from the National Autistic Society.

Why would they do that? They have my details because I've had dealings with them because I am autistic. Like too many autistic people I've never had a friend. Ever. I've never been invited for coffee. Never been to a party other than family, and they often forget me. I've spent my whole life alone, apart from DH and DS. I am crippled by loneliness.

I'm finding it quite difficult to write this without bursting into tears. I think they've done a really shitty thing. Surely they of all people should know better than to use imaginary offers of friendship in this way. It reminds me of school when party invites were given out and I'd be given an empty envelope and then be laughed at.

Spring

I'm in Sweden so probably a bit far to travel for coffee.

Not nice as sounds like mum wanting to see you. Complain. Im not far from m40 and just moved from london so know no one...lemonade anyone (including op) and cake (dont do tea or coffee) x

Another one for coffee here! In MK (hi TheSkyIsAwake!)

Ah. Not really an easy trip for coffee.

PissedAS- my brother lives in Sweden but sadly he'd be more likely to go for whiskey than coffee & I really wouldn't recommend him as 'friend' material, he's a bit too much of a lad for anyone (never mind anyone with ASD)

Have a virtual drink with me

I got that email from Lucy, mother of Max, although mine had who is the star of your story in the title so I ignored it as spam.
Sadly Sweden is a bit far otherwise I would gladly have gone for coffee with you.

Here's a hug

(((((((((((PissedAS))))))))))

I hope it travels well, I'm aiming it North-north-east from Devon

Aw, I would love to go for a coffee with you. But you're too far. If you'll come to UK at some point, I'm in MK too and will happily go for one, or make one at home. I make banging blueberry cheesecake

Another coffee date here in MK (UK) should you ever be in these regions. Will maybe even stretch to cakes too

I've forwarded the email and my OP to the address Goldmandra kindly provided.

Where in Sweden are you OP? There are MNers here too!

Skaraborg

That is really thoughtless and I would have expected better from the NAS. They really should know better.

I'm in the South-West and would happily go for coffee with you.

Ah, then I'm afraid we aren't neighbours :-( But are you a member of the FB group English Speaking Mums in Sweden? it's a pretty friendly group and you'd be bound to find someone in your area up for a fika

Crossed posts and missed the Sweden bit. Sorry.
Sending a virtual hug instead.

Why not organise a MN meet up in Sweden? We got one going here in Canada and it was great.

from me, glad you emailed them and told them too. I would have felt the same as you.

I'm sorry this email made you feel bad, and glad you complained.

I got this email too. My son is on the spectrum and have had some info from NAS before. I actually know a boy with autism called Max who's mum is called Lucy, and thought it was from her. It was most confusing!

Those sly, faux-familiar mail shots really piss me off..

Oh OP. I am so sorry that message made you feel that way. How thoughtless of them. It's a terrible ploy by the email marketing team to make it look like you've had a personal email when it's spam. If it helps, you have a friend in me. We might not live on the same continent but PM me if you want to talk and I'll ping you over my email address

I was in that FB group Komnu but left when some members started making 'jokes' about people with AS and then ganged up on me when I said it wasn't nice.

Why are people such dicks? Sorry, it's an inelegant way of putting it, but Jesus Wept.

That's awful OP, I'm really sorry. Inspired by the knowledge there's at least one other Swedey MNer I've just started a thread in 'Living Overseas' so come and join there

Not only is there a genetic link to autism, but having a special needs kid can be socially isolating for a parent in and of itself. There are places and events that most parents might be able to take their kids to, but you can't, because you know your child would have trouble handling it. There are people who will be nasty and judgy about how your kid doesn't always act like their Platonic ideal of a perfectly behaved child, even if that behaviour might be due to autism. (The nasty and judgy people are the ones who should be socially isolated, but it doesn't always work out that way)