Am I being bridezilla or is DP being unreasonable?

[Junzuki]

We're on early stages of booking our wedding for this time next year. We've booked and paid a deposit on the registra for our chosen day. We've provisionally booked the venue too but to book it properly and confirm, we need to pay a £500 deposit before May 1st.

We have this money sat in bank (saved up for this reason) waiting. DP however says its silly to pay them now when we have a few weeks left and that the money is better in our bank than there's. I think this is ridiculous because we have 100% decided on this specific venue, the registra appointment is booked specifically for this venue and the venue itself only has this one slot available in that month so why not just put the deposit down and have it all official??? Why is he insisting on waiting until the very last minute to exchange money?? Also tonight he said "don't panic, even if we go over that date they'll contact us to let us know".

But we know the date!! Why WOULD we go over it like it's some game of chicken??

Or is he right??

*theirs (before anyone corrects me)

No, he's being silly unless the money is tied up in a savings account with penalties for early withdrawal or similar

YANBU (unless you really need the £500 at the moment)

YANBU, just go and forward the money to the venue!
If he is talking about possibly going over the specified date I would just take it in to my own hands!

Unless you've paid the deposit, the venue could just sell the slot to someone else.

YANBU
Your DP really shouldn't count on the hotel getting in touch either.

No it's sat in a no interest, no penalty basic savings account and is specifically for this purpose!

You are absolutely right. Just because you have provisionally booked it, it doesn't mean it's yours until the deposit has been paid. If someone walks in tomorrow with the deposit and wants your date they could give it to the other couple. Hopefully they would call and check if you still wanted the date but they might not. I would get the deposit paid ASAP.

Tell him that there is every chance it will be booked up by someone else if you dont do it.

You could demonstrate that, until the deposit is paid, the hotel do not let you know if anyone else books it, by getting a friend to make a provisional booking at the hotel for the same slot.

And maybe hope its not always going to be this difficult to make plans together.

I told him that, he said in just trying to cause trouble and complicate things

Depends on the interest rate you're getting I suppose.

I'd just pay it, DH would be more like your OH and keep hold of it 'til the last minute "better earning interest in our account than theirs". It's one of his quirks that I love don't get

ask him if really wants you to get married.. thats the only reason he is dragging his feet..

Agree with all above. Until you've paid the deposit, the venue are perfectly within their rights to book someone else in. For your own piece of mind, I would pay it asap.

It's earning no interest. (Well, about 20p if you're really counting).

I would presume that he didn't want to get married.

Junzuki, you need to learn how to argue with your DH to be! Seriously!

Don't drag in the "you always, I never" cycles of blame game and recriminations.

Use sentences like" when you do X, I feel Y,"

For example say:

"when you say delay paying the deposit for the one slot available that month, I feel you don't want to book the venue at all.
We have our registry office booked that day, and to my mind it makes sense to have the reception the same day. If we don't book soon, we could find ourselves without the venue, and have to book for another day, and that would be most inconvenient for everyone".

Oh I could have written your OP myself! My fiancé has been so frustrating for the entire planning process.. if it was up to him we'd literally just buy everything the week before!! Still been great fun though!

Just to add my DH wouldn't play the chicken game, he'd set it up so the money transferred on the 1st May.
If they are a reputable venue they will
hold the date until the date they have stated.

This venue is for the actual wedding ceremony! Not just the reception, that's what makes it even worse

Not sure. If decided id be tempted to book as venue could resell. However if in high interest and venue has confirm they keep it to that date id be tempted to keep money in account. You know the answer to this...

Yanbu.

When i was getting married we had agreed on our honeymoon, we just had to pay. He said we still have time lets do it later. Then he procastinated until i had to grab him by the arm and take him to the travel agency. The day after our wedding was fully booked! We had to stay at our parents one night between the wedding and the honeymoon. And he wont own up to it. Even today if you ask him he wont admit that it was his fault.

That would drive me bananas. When we planned our wedding we spent a weekend flicking through wedding mags and talking what we wanted, then sorted it into jobs for each of us. Can't you offer to make transferring the money your "job" and just do it?

Just pay it-why do you need his permission?

Do you have wedding insurance? I agree to pay it over to make it all official, is he going to be like this for every bill you pay?

But make sure your insurance is sorted first in case the venue goes bust or has a floor or something.