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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think that 'People You May Know' function could ruin Facebook.

195 replies

takemeuptheeiffeltower · 13/04/2015 17:02

We all like Facebook because it helps us keep in touch with people, especially if they live far away,.
But if we're honest, whilst we are keeping in touch most of us also like to have an annonymous nose around to see who's doing what! Wink It's part of the fun.
Anyway, it's human nature to be inquisitive nosey
But if people can see that you have searched for them Shock and vice versa, then I can see people leaving FB in droves.

Have FB gone too far this time?

OP posts:
crassula · 14/04/2015 20:08

*know

mickeyfartpants · 15/04/2015 00:19

No, I know for sure she is looking at my page. We have a mutual friend who tells me that she writes snarky updates whenever I change my cover photo or profile pic (now on lock down). As well as that I get random notifications on twitter and FB that she has liked something most probably by accident, and when I check, there is no like there. And yet still, she is not in my "people I might know" section.

mickeyfartpants · 15/04/2015 00:22

When I blocked her, there was a "Oh, so I'm blocked now!" comment.

IsJustMe · 15/04/2015 02:44

I'm always looking up "old friends" exes on FB, with no intention of befriending them again, but I just like to see if they have aged well. I don't ever put anything on FB that I wouldn't be happy for DH to see, but I don't really like all these photos of men I have stalked which keep popping up down the side of my computer screen!

pearpotter · 15/04/2015 08:10

The only suggestions that pop up for me are people with whom I have mutual friends. I do find it funny sometimes though that I can have 24 mutual friends with someone and not actually know them. It also amazes me that lots of people have completely open profiles.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 15/04/2015 08:16

I got a 'people you may know' suggestion of someone whose page I have looked at, but absolutely zero other connection (no phone numbers, emails, friends in common etc) so i think it shows people you have searched for but not those who have searched for you.

AnnaFiveTowns · 15/04/2015 08:20

I am fairly sure that if you look someone up then they will then receive a "people you may know" suggestion.

My reason for this, is that my auntie recently opened a Facebook account; she only has 2 friends on it at the moment and yet Facebook suggested that she might know her ex - partner, from whom she has been estranged for 15 years, with no contact whatsoever (he moved abroad and she doesn't even know where). When he left the uk, she had no computer, no mobile phone, no email account - nothing that could link her to him. They have no mutual friends- she only has two on there- and she definitely hasn't looked him up. And yet within a week or two of her opening her account, he was suggested as a friend! There is no other explanation, other than he'd looked her up and so she then got him recommended as a friend. And he pops up pretty much every time she logs on.

I am really pissed off that Facebook have done this. It's an intrusion on your privacy; we should all be able to stalk anonymously, FFS!

As for the previous posters saying there isn't technology that allows them to do this - of course there is! LinkedIn already do it!

And Facebook are clever. They're not actually letting somebody know directly that you've been looking at their profile but they are in an indirect way.

AnnaFiveTowns · 15/04/2015 08:24

They also suggest "people you may know" if you've searched for them, obviously.

pearpotter · 15/04/2015 08:35

If you really don't want random people to find you can set up "Who can find me?" to Friends of Friends only. If you want to exclude specific people you can find them and block them. Also check what "Public" see if they look at your profile page, then change your settings accordingly.

nooka · 15/04/2015 08:56

I have all my settings locked down and I haven't looked up anyone on Facebook for years but on looking Facebook are still suggesting random people alongside the friends of friends, including for some bizarre reason Barbara Windsor. I doubt very much that Babs has ever taken the time to look me up! Oh and I have an almost certainly unique name, so an accidental hit on my blank public page is really really unlikely.

On LinkedIn I only search for nosiness when I'm not logged in. It's a bit of a meaningless feature there I think as it's quite easy to accidentally click throguh when for example you are responding to a discussion. I've also had far more weird connection requests there than friend requests on facebook.

pearpotter · 15/04/2015 09:35

Linkedin is totally different though. It's marketing basically.

AutumnDragon · 15/04/2015 10:17

I have been following this thread with a great deal of interest.

2 people have appeared on DH's facebook that I insist he must have searched for. He says he hasn't.

-His facebook account was opened 6 months ago.

-He said no to going through his contacts (he has hundreds and 99.9% of them do not appear on his Friends you may know). I do not appear on the list, and we are not friends, and yet we email several times a day. So unlikely to be from contacts.

  • The two people who have appeared would not have been emailed from the account linked to his facebook
  • He has not been in contact with either in the past 5 years (probably longer)

So Mumsnet Jury, based on the above, why have these two people appeared on his Friends you may Know?

Coconutty · 15/04/2015 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crassula · 15/04/2015 10:47

Could be any reason - we don't know because Facebook won't tell us what goes into this.

My view is that searching for people doesn't make them more likely to appear on your "may know" list, but does make you more likely to appear on theirs - so maybe they've been searching him?

If they're in his contacts, that could also explain it.

I have people in my contacts who I haven't contacted in years, but they still appear on my "may know" list.

I also have a load of randoms in my list that I don't know, have no mutual friends with, are not the same FB groups as me, etc etc.

Who knows?

AutumnDragon · 15/04/2015 10:57

coconutty - not on Facebook. He started FB for business reasons, these two people (not linked to each other) are both personal acquaintances

They are not on his contacts - I've looked.

The randoms I can cope with, but these two names are a bit too specific. Lets just say, if I was going to accuse him of looking at anyone from his past, these 2 names would have been the ones I would check.

SwedishEdith · 15/04/2015 11:03

Are they local? Does your husband use any other apps - Instagram, Whatsapp?

I've no idea but l enjoy trying to work these things out.

AutumnDragon · 15/04/2015 11:10

Sorry OP, not meaning to hijack.

As far as I'm concerned, the names have appeared because he searched for them. I have looked at all the other possibilities on this thread and discounted them all, so it only leaves stalking or being stalked.

I've had one appear, an old friend that I had lost touch with, changed email addresses etc. No friends in common, I haven't entered the place we both worked at. So I can only assume she searched me.

AutumnDragon · 15/04/2015 11:11

SwedishEdith - not that I know of, and not that I've seen on his phone. He also doesn't use FB on his phone

Twirlwirlywoo · 15/04/2015 11:52

I have just had a look at my "friends you might know".

I can see loads of people I have mutual friends with, some randoms from the same FB groups I am in but dont know - but guess it is quite possible we have been on the same thread in that group at some point in the past. I have a few people I have no current connections with but I know I have stalked/looked up in the past - so FB is suggesting who I HAVE LOOKED UP to me. I also have a load of randoms with zero connections at all.

I wonder whether if you like a place or check in to a location FB connects you to other randoms who also like or have checked into that place. So if last Saturday I checked into the Red Lion pub at anytown - anyone else who has ever also checked in there may get suggested to me and possibly me to them???

I am not convinced that if I look up Joe Bloggs - that Joe will get a fried suggestion to me. However, he will be suggested to me in the future.

muminhants · 15/04/2015 11:54

When I blocked her, there was a "Oh, so I'm blocked now!" comment.

How did she know she'd been blocked?

Original poster
takemeuptheeiffeltower · 15/04/2015 13:29

My auntie recently opened a Facebook account; she only has 2 friends on it at the moment and yet Facebook suggested that she might know her ex - partner, from whom she has been estranged for 15 years, with no contact whatsoever (he moved abroad and she doesn't even know where). When he left the uk, she had no computer, no mobile phone, no email account - nothing that could link her to him. They have no mutual friends- she only has two on there- and she definitely hasn't looked him up. And yet within a week or two of her opening her account, he was suggested as a friend! There is no other explanation, other than he'd looked her up and so she then got him recommended as a friend. And he pops up pretty much every time she logs on.

Okay, all the You are all being Paranoid lot - Explain the above!

I am really pissed off that Facebook have done this. It's an intrusion on your privacy; we should all be able to stalk anonymously, FFS!

Too true!

OP posts:
Original poster
takemeuptheeiffeltower · 15/04/2015 13:34

2 people have appeared on DH's facebook that I insist he must have searched for. He says he hasn't.
So Mumsnet Jury, based on the above, why have these two people appeared on his Friends you may Know?

It's obvious. They have searched for him Hmm

OP posts:
AutumnDragon · 15/04/2015 13:45

It's obvious. They have searched for him

But most PPs say that Facebook doesn't do this!

Just cos we're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get us Grin

Original poster
takemeuptheeiffeltower · 15/04/2015 13:56

Autumn, FB People You May Know function could end up causing all sorts of marital problems! Shock

OP posts:
AutumnDragon · 15/04/2015 14:00

Indeed!