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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think that 'People You May Know' function could ruin Facebook.

195 replies

takemeuptheeiffeltower · 13/04/2015 17:02

We all like Facebook because it helps us keep in touch with people, especially if they live far away,.
But if we're honest, whilst we are keeping in touch most of us also like to have an annonymous nose around to see who's doing what! Wink It's part of the fun.
Anyway, it's human nature to be inquisitive nosey
But if people can see that you have searched for them Shock and vice versa, then I can see people leaving FB in droves.

Have FB gone too far this time?

OP posts:
crassula · 13/04/2015 18:24

Fcufifa, if you google it you will see that loads of people have tried this. Generally, if you're stalking someone they don't turn up in your list - they only do if they're searching you.

SwedishEdith · 13/04/2015 18:24

Oh, loads of people I have looked at have popped up as friends I may know. Really random people all over the world whose profiles I've just looked at when bored. There's no way they've been looking for me.

crassula · 13/04/2015 18:24

Totally agree that there's something in the searching/turning up in list connection. Still flummoxed by the sheer amount of random people I get in my list.

mostlyconfused · 13/04/2015 18:28

The OP is correct. If you search for someone, or if someone searches for you, it will show up on the people you may know feature.

SnakePlisskensMum · 13/04/2015 18:29

Yep, loads of randoms too but sometimes it's easy to just float around clicking on profiles that make no sense iykwim...
Anyway, there have definitely been some spurious people in mine without mutual friends, I get that they will come up and don't think there's much of a problem with them. It's those names from the past that you've forgotten about and bam, why is FB suggesting them???!!

Fcukfifa · 13/04/2015 18:33

Crassula, but if you searched for yourself from an alternative 'stalker' account then the stalker account would then show in your fb page?

Or search for stalker account from personal account and see if you pop up in the stalker accounts people you may know.

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

crassula · 13/04/2015 18:34

I'm more bothered by the randoms - I understand that Facebook pulls info from loads of sources (even internet searches), and I can see where they come from. It's the totally random people who I know for a fact I've never clicked on, and when I check them out from the list see we have no common likes or anything else, that bother me.

Most freaky thing on mine, though was when someone with my step-brother's name turned up on my list.

My step-brother has always been known to me as his first name and my father's surname. That's what I have in my email, phone, and all contacts with him. If I were to guess he used another surname, I would have assumed his mother's (my step-mother's) surname.

I never even knew his father's surname.

He is not on Facebook.

Someone with his first name and his father's surname turned up on my list the other day. Nothing else in common with me at all. Different country entirely. No mutual friends. It wasn't him, but when I asked him about it he was shocked, as it's his birth name.

Could be a coincidence, I suppose

crassula · 13/04/2015 18:36

Fcukfifa, what I understand is that the person who does the searching may turn up on the stalkee's account. So if you search for yourself from a stalker account, the stalker might show up. But if you are stalking someone, that doesn't seem to increase the chances that your stalkee would show up on your list (unless they stalk you back, ifyswim)

DixieNormas · 13/04/2015 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/04/2015 18:43

My stalkee has just popped up as "someone you may know"

Although TBH I don't give a shit if she knows

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 13/04/2015 18:43

OK, so people that you search for turn up as "people you may know": but this still doesn't mean you are turning up on their feed as "people they know" does it? it just means that FB's algorithms have assumed (if an algorithm can be said to assume anything!) that you know this person because, well, you searched for them...

ShouldIworryornothelp · 13/04/2015 18:47

Yes. If you stalk someone you appear on their list

crassula · 13/04/2015 18:48

MoorBahtat - I think from the tests that people have done (and discussed on the internet) it 's the other way around - when you search for someone that doesn't seem to increase the chances of their turning up on your people you may know, but it does increase the chances of your turning up on their people you may know.

Which does make sense, but it's leading people to assume that the randoms that are turning up on their people you may know have been searching for them (although of course there may be other reasons they're turning up, but sometimes it's hard to see exactly what - and Facebook won't explain.)

icelollycraving · 13/04/2015 19:28

Absolutely,I thought everyone knew this.

HicDraconis · 13/04/2015 19:44

Does that mean that my long-ago-ex's DW has checked out my FB profile then? She turned up in my "people you may know" list for the first time the other day - we have a fair few mutual friends still so it's not impossible that FB decided we may know each other, but it's the first time she's popped up.

I'll be on hers now, having had a nosey!

crassula · 13/04/2015 19:47

It doesn't mean she definitely has, no - there are lots of reasons people appear. It means she might have. Facebook is notoriously reluctant to explain how this feature works - explanations give a few reasons and then " other factors". It will be interesting to see how far Facebook can push this

LongHardStare · 13/04/2015 19:57

I think the way suggestions are made has changed. I looked up a nasty racist facebook group following a link to see something shocking which had been written on it. Next thing I know it is coming up as a suggested group for me. I am certain I have no link or friend's in common with the group, so the only connection is my anonymous browsing being used to generate suggestions.

BankWadger · 13/04/2015 20:06

About 4 years ago I fb stalked an ex. My name is different on fb and I had a random non identifying profile picture as well as tight security settings and new email address. So he really shouldn't have been able to find me. 2 days later he friend requested me.

Now I'm sorry but the only way that could have happened is if a direct link to my account came up on his account - put there I assume as a "friend you may know" link after I viewed his page thus reminding myself what a plonker he his. I had clicked nothing on his page, only spent about a minute looking. We also have no mutual friends btw.

Lesson learnt. Blocked him immediately and let the past stay in the past.

BankWadger · 13/04/2015 20:10

-and not stalk anyone I don't want contacting me

littlejohnnydory · 13/04/2015 20:16

If you're stalking someone who has mutual friends, won't they just assume that's why you appear as someone they may know?

icelollycraving · 13/04/2015 20:21

If you don't believe,pm me your Fb name & I'll check you out.

crassula · 13/04/2015 20:43

Interesting how the use of the word " stalking" is just accepted within the context of Facebook

DefinitelyMaybeBaby · 13/04/2015 20:46

I spend several hours a week in the company of another professional for work purposes, we don't have each other's mobile numbers and I have never though to look her up on fb - she said she had never looked me up and I believe her, can't really see her caring enough to. However we both came up on each others "people you may know". She brought it up which makes me more sure she hadnt been nosying at me!

We had a chat about it and have concluded that we both have iPhones with Facebook app and gps tracker always turned on which Facebook app has permission to follow (didn't realise I had agreed to that?), our phones are always in our bags during our meetings.
So we think fb has figured we spend a lot of time in the same space and therefore must be friends?

CREEEEEEEEPY!!

RuthAaaghhh · 13/04/2015 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UncannyCat · 13/04/2015 21:58

I realised that facebook did this a few years ago when a "person who you may know" was the husband of an old school friend (she didn't have a facebook account and was searching for me using his account). He and I didn't know each other and had absolutely nothing in common. The only connection was that "he" searched my name.