To think Judy Murray shouldn't have worn all white...

[lulu12345]

...to Andy's wedding?! I've seen this a few times now from DMs/DMILs - what are they thinking??

Completely agree.

I'm always surprised at the number of grown women who are so harsh in their judgement of the clothes that other women wear . I can only presume that their own mothers did the same, and so it continues...

FGS - just be happy for the couple and their family.

She looks lovely. Totally appropriate.

Yes-get a life. They all looked lovely and I thought weddings were about celebrating and fun-not being "framed".

And Kim and Andy looked great, and, more to the point, really really happy. The wedding dress is beautiful

For the love of god! "Inappropriate". Come on - wearing nothing but suspenders and a peep hole bra would have been inappropriate. Judy's outfit was entirely appropriate for a family wedding.

I'm off to check my wedding photos now to see if I was framed appropriately and if not clearly I shall immediately disown the culprits.

Some people like any excuse to have a pop at Judy Murray.

She seems nice. Kim seems nice. I am sure they discussed what Judy was wearing and it wasn't a surprise.

I could not be friends with a bride who would be offended by someone wearing a pale coat at their wedding. Talk about ridiculous and precious.

My MIL wore a bloody hideous burnt orange number which clashed terribly with my burgundy and gold dress.
She also refused to have her corsage done by the wedding florist and wore a single bright red carnation complete with foil wrapped around the bottom.

She totally fucked up my framing.

Gosh, just come back to thread. Really sorry to have offended some people so much. No disputing Judy looked amazing, was just intended as a lighthearted observation that white/ivory is usually left as the preserve of the bride. Personally I still think it's a bit of a faux pas to wear it if it's not your own wedding but I take my (large, sun-obscuring) hat off to anyone else that isn't bothered. Lovely wedding, everyone looked v happy.

White/cream/light beige/pale taupe are all apporpriate for mothers of. The usual suit dress styling plus hat is not the least bit likely to be seen as mimicking a bridal gown and veil! If the bride is in full on wedding costume, and the mothers of are also in suitably 'mother of' suits or dresses, they arent competing anyway.

The nobody in white but the bride rule matters more when everyone, including the wedding party is wearing Sunday best type clothes, or super casual clothes, or evening clothes. Being in white will mark her out as the bride if she is dressed in the same sort of non-costumy clothes as the guests. Even then, the rule is more for guests who, if they are in her own age range, might be mistaken for her, or be assumed to be trying to make some bitchy point concerning themselves and the groom!

My daughter got married outdoors, and because of the time of year/angle of the sun/largest shady patch for guests to sit in, she was going to have to walk down one side of the seated guests to get to the back of them to come up the aisle. She asked a bunch of her girlfriends to wear white. Her flower girl and adult bridesmaids left the brides dressing room (also known as the park office) in a casual group to walk round. Then, surrounded by about 8 women in white outfits, including one in her mother's wedding suit from 1957(!), she walked round with a feeling of not being on view yet. She is only 5'3", and they were almost all taller. It worked quite well, and the photographer caught quite a nice shot of them all as they came out. The women went up to sit in a row resrved for them, then us parents and the usual procession.

So, every day a school day on MN. What have we learned from this thread?

1. No white to be worn by anyone but the bride. Not a button, scarf, hat. It's not clear whether this applies to the men. Or if it applies when the bride isn't wearing white.
2. No bright colours to be worn by anyone in case the wearer should inadvertently distract the eye from the bride.
3. Guests must be arranged according to height, weight, colour scheme in order to frame the bride in the pics. Anyone falling outside of height/weight proportionate norms is not to be photographed.
4. DMs and DMiLs in particular must clear all items of apparel with the bride.

.

No wonder there are so many bridezilla threads on here.
Maybe if people worried less about these utterly ridiculous "rules" and got on with enjoying their weddings without trying to turn them.into some.sort of oscar winning performance there would be far.less angst.

I think that's a decent summary carabos. I think your post should be printed out and stuck on the back of wedding invitations.

As for being able to draw attention in the photos: tiny Kim will be quite the shortest, even in those high heeled silver sandals, in any group photo. Andy, his brother, their mum plus her hat, will all tower over her and your eye will automatically be drawn to her because of that.

Well, it was 'bridal' in the sense it could have been a bridal outfit a la Duchess of Cornwall

but, clearly when you saw the actual Bride, it was simply an elegant MOG outfit.

It seemed a lovely personal and quite private wedding, shared with the town that means so much to Andy.

The 'Scotland's Royal Wedding' is a bit OTT though!

Yea I'm sure everyone will leaf through the album in years to.come and struggle.to work out who the bride is

I have simply no idea what other people wore to my wedding (would need to look at photographs) but I do know that I couldn't care less if I looked at photos and found I wasn't framed or that someone was wearing blue.
I can honestly say that these rules at what are supposed to be joyous family occasions baffle me .
Each time I look at the photos and see them both smiling surrounded by family and friends it brings a tear to my eye - I think they seem like a smashing couple - confirmed when I watched the programme about him a couple of years ago when he cried when talking about day he hid in school.
Judy looked simply wonderful and totally appropriate. Kim didn't look too shabby either .

Judy looked lovely and very stylish imho.

Loads of petty comments here - why can't we just wish them all the best for goodness sake rather than pick over every aspect of (noticeably only) what the women wore and thus derive some devious motivation from it?

No idea what colour anyone wore to mine either. If someone had turned up in a floor length ivory gown with a train and veil, carrying a bouquet might have been a bit pissed off. Luckily they didn't.

It's interesting that we constantly bemoan the pressure placed upon girls and women to look a certain way. These threads confirm that it's women who place these pressures on other women - not 'society'. Can you imagine anyone on Dadsnet wringing their hands over whether Andy was framed correctly, or if his Dad's choice of outfit was appropriate?

Btw, we seem to have forgotten the rule 'white for the virgin bride'

That's a rule which isn't enforced even by bridezillas.

Behoven So very true!

Better than my MIL, she was in black from head to toe and sobbed through the whole service. Magic.

Black magic? . Hope she was crying because of the beauty of the ceremony and not because she was gaining a daughter...

granny

I went to a wedding where the MIL to be wore black, faced the wall, and cried through the whole service. It was dreadful of her, I thought.

Was it yours, I wonder? If so, I thought you were very dignified ignoring her.

What an incredible way to behave HAVEto - you'd think she'd maybe just not go if she felt that strongly? How can you not be happy to gain a daughter though!