Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask mil if she could get a new car seat?

129 replies

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 11:28

We gave mil a spare car seat ages ago as she very occasionally had dd, however I've noticed the straps on it aren't working very well- mil really struggles to use them and when fil uses them (witnessed for the first time yesterday) he doesn't tighten the straps, they are very Ridley and require super human strength to tighten.
We got this car seat over a year ago at a car boot, it was £5 and was intended for occasional use (maybe twice a year) when pil took dd (they lived abroad). It was in working order and the straps fitted dd very well at the time.
Today po mentioned as pil were going to toys r us that they might want to pick up a car seat, they are always on offer and could get a new one at a good price and needn't spend a lot and mil said there was nothing wrong with the car seat and they'd never put dd in a seat that wasn't safe.
Now, I would happily go out and buy one for dd, and I will do if they refuse or it turns out iabu and should buy my own dd her car seat for their car but pil are rolling in money, seriously my fil just spent 10k on a watch! I don't understand why mil would rather spend lots of money on dresses for dd etc than just not buy dd stuff she doesn't need for a week and get a car seat that is brand new, straps dd in properly and she can use easily.
I've noticed behind the fabric on the car seat the padding has been taped on, it's obviously come off at some point but I feel that it's just had this day and served its purpose already.
Aibu to insist they get a new one or don't take dd out in the car? Our car seat is strapped in properly in our car and dp uses the car everyday so they couldn't use ours.
Should I just say you don't have to spend your money on a new one but don't expect to take dd out in the one you've got?
Or should I just go grab one and tell them I've decided she needed a new one even if they don't agree and leave it at that?

OP posts:
tobysmum77 · 11/04/2015 21:38

Grin Grin have a Wine op

Only1scoop · 11/04/2015 21:48

I'm having a Wineon your behalf Chuck....

Now about that car seat....Wink

DisappointedOne · 11/04/2015 22:16

Singsongsung - there's one in my garage in perfect condition. I was going to take it to a car boot sale.............

Singsongsung · 11/04/2015 23:52

He he Disappointed. Wink

Ejzuudjej · 12/04/2015 04:57

You should buy one. It's irresponsible.

Only joking OP. Mumsnet is weird lately. Lots of frothing and pouncing.

LaLaLaaaa · 12/04/2015 05:32

Ha ha ha! Just read this thread in full and loving your responses OP!

OP I really think you should buy a new car seat... ;)

Have some Wine I think you deserve it

Original poster
Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 12/04/2015 05:54

I've been up since 4am thinking of things to do with old car seats, I reckon there's a market for second hand car seats out there just got to think of something amazing and SAFE to do with them. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 12/04/2015 06:00

The car seat lady has the answer to buying/selling or borrowing second hand car seats also known as shcs.

thecarseatlady.wordpress.com/tipsheets/used/

Actually pretty informative!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 12/04/2015 06:00

But obviously DON'T or your do will die

OP posts:
Lauramum23 · 12/04/2015 07:22

Feckin ell! Bet you wish you hadn't posted eh chuckitinthefuckitbucket! There are so many opinionated folk on here! Jeeez remind me never ever to ask a question.

Never mind I don't think you did anything wrong and problem resolved now. And I also think your pil should have bought one themselves.
Hope you aren't to scared to read this , quite frankly I would be Smile
I sold our 2nd stage car seat on a Carboot to a young couple, I can't see anyone selling a car seat to someone that knows it's been in an accident unless they were absolute scum. Unlikely.

Anyway take no notice not everyone thinks you are a shocking parentSmile

Singsongsung · 12/04/2015 10:19

That link is interesting OP but I'm guessing that on buying a car seat for £5 at a car boot sale you wouldn't have been privy to any of that information.

Lweji · 12/04/2015 11:49

When I posted earlier about you two growing some courage, although I knew perfectly well that you had already bought the damn seat, it was relevant because the situation will arise again (or in a different shape) at some point. And then you will have to back down or put up with your PILs getting all upset.

workadurka · 12/04/2015 12:09

You did the right thing buying the seat yourself. Your PILs are entitled to spend their £ how they like and it sounds like they already buy your DD lots of lovely things and love spending time with her. You are v lucky.

sleeponeday · 12/04/2015 15:53

OP: Cake Wine Cake Wine Cake Wine Cake

I never knew there were so many perfect people in the world until joining Mumsnet. Where do these paragons all live? Why do I never meet them?

As it happens, O wise ones, my kid was rearfacing till 4 without problems. He was comfy as anything, and actually as they're higher up he had a better view from the window than he does front facing, as well as plenty of space for his legs to go. He's always been 98th centile for height, or thereabouts, and his legs were never squished at all - I do wonder if people making that comment ever register that their own legs have to be bent when in a car? My dd has a rearfacing till 4 seat as well, and seems very happy in it. She's a toddler with a will of iron, but the design seems to suit her. I concede they weigh a fucking ton, though. We have the Izi Besafe and carting that in and out is a hassle, there's no denying it.

Carseats are like breastfeeding and sleep training, IMO. They are all subjects that allow insecure people to feel like competent parents by judging those making different decisions to their own. As long as your kid is fed, strapped in reasonably safely, and getting sleep, then chances are they'll be fine whatever approach suits your family. And outsiders should wind their necks in and concentrate on their own lives. .

quietbatperson · 12/04/2015 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 12/04/2015 22:01

In contrast to all the grumping above, I think YWouldTotallyNotHaveBU to ask MIL not to buy DD new clothes/whatever for a week or two, and get a new car seat instead.

Unfortunately, there's not really a way to formulate that request without pissing them off, is there. Particularly if they've already started to head off down the route of 'Are you accusing us of putting DD in an unsafe car seat!?!?!?' To which the answer is clearly yes, but somehow the question is phrased in such a way you have to say no Hmm

Oh, yeah. And in conclusion, I think you really ought to buy the new car seat yourself. Grin What are you thinking!

Bearfrills · 12/04/2015 23:11

OP, have you considered buying a new carseat....? Maybe you should get to the shops now so that you can be first in the doors tomorrow morning. While you're at it, phone social services and dob yourself in for putting your precious little snowflake in such heinous, unspeakable danger...

Or just be normal like the rest of us and wonder what sort of glue the frothers have been sniffing lately.

Do people realise that there are people out there who buy carseats (and - shock - mattresses!) second hand by necessity? And others buy them out of choice for whatever reason, lots of reasons, pick a reason. It's no one else's business and there is no need for the level of shit that has been directed at the OP.

Lweji · 12/04/2015 23:13

Bear, before putting down other people on this thread, perhaps you care to read the updates. Grin

BertieBotts · 12/04/2015 23:18

I think some people are a bit bonkers about car seats on MN, OP, don't worry!

I'd "find" an article about expiry dates and be all "Oh gosh MIL I've just read this and I can't stop worrying about that seat now, I know you'd never use an unsafe seat but it says here that you can't tell by looking and I'm just never going to rest easy, I'll have a look around and see if I can find any deals."

And then keep your fingers crossed that they offer to pay!

BertieBotts · 12/04/2015 23:19

Or can you say you need to check the weight limit on that seat as you've just weighed her and claim she's grown out of it? Get a combination one that will do her current stage and the next stage?

Bearfrills · 12/04/2015 23:22

Lweji that seemed like too much work so I thought I'd jump straight in, indignant comments a-flyin', like lots of other people seemed to be doing Grin

OP, please share the brand, colour, serial number, Which? safety rating, scent, and aesthetic of the new carseat for our analysis. Be descriptive. Extra points will be awarded for imaginative smilies relating to the weave pattern of the fabric.

GammaDelta · 12/04/2015 23:23

hi Op. my comment might come as rude to you, but they are helping out by taking care of your dc . what they spend on themselves is their own earning. if you are fineness about the car seat and you think it's cheap then buy one?

westcountrywoman · 12/04/2015 23:26

Your child, surely your responsibility to make sure she has a safe car seat. No way would I put my kids in a £5 car boot jobby (that sounds like it's falling to bits anyway). Even if only for occasional use; why is she any less likely to be involved in an accident on the day she uses that seat?
If you can't afford a new one, then could they use yours when they have DD?
Regardless of PILs' finances, it's your responsibility. Sorry.

Bearfrills · 12/04/2015 23:28

Shall I take some of the heat off you?

DS2, 13mo, sleeps on a secondhand mattress.

Every now and again, DS1, 5yo, travels with no carseat at all.

Last night we were at a party and kept all three DC out until 11pm then walked them the whole mile and a bit back to our house.

Bearfrills · 12/04/2015 23:28

The OP already HAS bought a carseat

Swipe left for the next trending thread