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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask mil if she could get a new car seat?

129 replies

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 11:28

We gave mil a spare car seat ages ago as she very occasionally had dd, however I've noticed the straps on it aren't working very well- mil really struggles to use them and when fil uses them (witnessed for the first time yesterday) he doesn't tighten the straps, they are very Ridley and require super human strength to tighten.
We got this car seat over a year ago at a car boot, it was £5 and was intended for occasional use (maybe twice a year) when pil took dd (they lived abroad). It was in working order and the straps fitted dd very well at the time.
Today po mentioned as pil were going to toys r us that they might want to pick up a car seat, they are always on offer and could get a new one at a good price and needn't spend a lot and mil said there was nothing wrong with the car seat and they'd never put dd in a seat that wasn't safe.
Now, I would happily go out and buy one for dd, and I will do if they refuse or it turns out iabu and should buy my own dd her car seat for their car but pil are rolling in money, seriously my fil just spent 10k on a watch! I don't understand why mil would rather spend lots of money on dresses for dd etc than just not buy dd stuff she doesn't need for a week and get a car seat that is brand new, straps dd in properly and she can use easily.
I've noticed behind the fabric on the car seat the padding has been taped on, it's obviously come off at some point but I feel that it's just had this day and served its purpose already.
Aibu to insist they get a new one or don't take dd out in the car? Our car seat is strapped in properly in our car and dp uses the car everyday so they couldn't use ours.
Should I just say you don't have to spend your money on a new one but don't expect to take dd out in the one you've got?
Or should I just go grab one and tell them I've decided she needed a new one even if they don't agree and leave it at that?

OP posts:
Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 18:36

prima the argument is your friend bought it off someone she knew and trusted. She trusted you to tell her if it was in an accident ect. It's buying off strangers that's frowned upon

OP posts:
Lweji · 11/04/2015 18:36

I'm sorry but my in laws would have gone APE SHIT

You need to grow some courage in dealing with them now, or lend them your car seat. You haven't said why they can't use it yet. Much better use of resources.

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 18:39

ive bought a new flaming seat for the last time

OP posts:
Patapouf · 11/04/2015 18:44

Don't flounce! It's hard to hear you're wrong but it's MN, it won't stop just because you've said you've had enough.

PrimalLass · 11/04/2015 18:45

I know Chuckit, but WHAT is going to happen with all the perfectly safe seats if we all only use them for a few years?

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 18:50

No it's hard to hear your wrong over and over and over and over again when you've already fixed the problem.
I realised most people though I was bu straight away and brought a new car seat, so why do people continue to bash? Such a waste of life.

OP posts:
Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 18:51

I should imagine they'll all be thrown in the tip. No idea, really don't care either.

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 11/04/2015 18:52

I care. It is unsustainable.

Justusemyname · 11/04/2015 19:04

Tough if they go ape shit because you said they can't drive her in an unsafe car seat. The point would be offend them or risk your child's life.

Have you shown them how to use the new seat?

Joyfulldeathsquad · 11/04/2015 19:09

You shouldn't have bought a second ha d one it could have even counterfeit.

I would rather piss any fucker off than wave my kids off in a faulty car seat.

MissyMistress402 · 11/04/2015 19:10

SHE HAS GOT A NEW SEAT, DROP IT PEOPLE!

Joyfulldeathsquad · 11/04/2015 19:11

Just to add - my mil has never passed her driving test. She has drive on a provisional for thirty years. She drives alone, she smokes like a chimney and her other DGC are regulary in her car (12,15)

DP and I had a huge argument when mil assumed she would be taking dd out too. Over my dead body.

Singsongsung · 11/04/2015 19:15

Patapouf- thanks for that. To be honest I'm in the process of educating myself. My youngest is only a baby and so still in a rear facing first seat. My oldest is 9 and so in a forward facing seat (not booster as I think they're rubbish). We're currently researching which seat to buy next for our baby and pondering the rear facing Maxi Cosi. I understand that they can go in a forward facing seat from 15kg which she will hit before she outgrows the one she's in now (big baba). Would you buy the rear facing one anyway then?
Advice is a wonderful thing. I'm happy to receive it. Hope you offer it in a more friendly manner at work...

DisappointedOne · 11/04/2015 19:31

Keep her rear facing for as long as you can.

BucketFullOfDinosaurs · 11/04/2015 19:47

OP, you bought a flaming seat? That can't be safe! YOU'RE SO IRRESPONSIBLE! etc.

TormundsMember · 11/04/2015 19:53

Mumsnet at it's worst.

I'm glad you've got it sorted op!

Singsongsung · 11/04/2015 19:56

Ok disappointed. When I made the comment about squished legs that was a genuine concern. How do rear facing seats work at that age? My 9 year old had a forward facing Maxi Cosi Tobi at that stage (no one had rear facing then- not sure they existed even).

DisappointedOne · 11/04/2015 20:04

I've explained and provided a link to a photo. Not sure what more I can say.

TowerRavenSeven · 11/04/2015 20:11

Buy one. How much money they have doesn't matter, it's your child, you should provide basics, and a car seat is a basic.

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 20:19

tower thanks for enlightening me. I'll dash out and buy one right away...oh wait...

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 11/04/2015 20:25

You'll never step foot on a car boot ever again at this rate Grin chalk it up to experience. You've had your wrists slapped by lots of mumsnetters who can't be bothered to read a full thread before they reply. The girl asked for advice, took it... Then continued to get royally flamed! Have a glass of wine OP xxx

TowerRavenSeven · 11/04/2015 20:32

Sorry Chuck, obviously posted too soon. My apology is sincere, should have read whole thread. Glad you got it sorted.

TowerRavenSeven · 11/04/2015 20:37

In defense of mumsnetters that 'can't be bothered' to read the entire thread, it rarely happens that a questioning poster runs out straightaway and rectifies a situation they have been advised on. Mea culpa.

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 11/04/2015 20:45

yep. Took taking mumsnetters aibu advice to the next level!

OP posts:
Singsongsung · 11/04/2015 21:11

Disappointed- apologies for missing that link which I've now seen. Looks like forking out £350 for the rear facing one then hey. Scandalous prices really that lead to people like the OP making the choice she did I suspect.