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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off with people ignoring my DS

84 replies

Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 20:39

Ds (4 years), dd (11 months) and myself have been on a couple of trips out this week in the nice weather. I must have met at least four separate people who have gone out their way to say how cute dd is and oh she is gorgeous etc, while my ds is stood there looking and them and not a word to him until i make a point.

AIBU to feel so sad and angry.HmmHmm

OP posts:
Notatallsleepy · 10/04/2015 20:41

YABU. Babies are cute, 4 year olds not so much.

OwlinaTree · 10/04/2015 20:42

I've probably done this tbh, not thinking about it. Sorry Blush. I would usually say something to a sibling if they were stood right there, but I don't always make a point of it.

PurpleSwift · 10/04/2015 20:43

YABBa but U. I'm sure he got plenty of attention. It's a baby thing, but a "hello and how are you?" Would be polite.

Almostapril · 10/04/2015 20:43

Babies are cute. 4 year olds are not. I have one

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 20:43

Notatall ... You were probably one of them nasty people. 4 years old is still young, not nice to ignore them

Out of interest, do you have children?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 10/04/2015 20:43

Yanbu.
I don't like this either. Having had this happen to my 2 dds, I always make an effort to compliment both.

OutragedFromLeeds · 10/04/2015 20:44

Are these people strangers? If so, YABU. People like babies. It's that simple.

If these are people that you know, then they are being a bit mean and thoughtless and I'd have a quiet word.

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 20:44

Thank you arethereanyleftata.
I always go out of my way to say something to their sibling

OP posts:
londonrach · 10/04/2015 20:44

Yabu. Children are only cute to parents.

londonrach · 10/04/2015 20:45

Babies are cute!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 10/04/2015 20:45

I have a four year old and a four month old. The baby is cute, the child... not so much. Most people however do ask ds how he likes being a big brother and ask him about the baby instead of me, so they do include him in that sense. He'd probably get embarrassed about people saying he was cute anyway.

Bowlersarm · 10/04/2015 20:46

YABU.

Older children have loads of advantages. Younger siblings have the cute baby factor.

Liara · 10/04/2015 20:47

Huh?

It never crossed my mind that anyone would make any comment about ds1 when him and ds2 were those ages respectively.

Frankly, he would have been a bit Hmm himself and told them he wasn't the baby...

It is a social convention to coo over babies up to the age of 1. Past that it's a bit weird imo.

Yarp · 10/04/2015 20:47

Aw, this is sad. I would go out of my way to acknowledge both children. It is not easy being a 4 year old. Surely that is just being thoughtful?

Yarp · 10/04/2015 20:48

Don't think the Op wants people to coo. Just speak to the old child an an age appropriate way

Only1scoop · 10/04/2015 20:49

Ugh hate all the token "aww cute baby" and then the addressing the sibling as not to leave anyone out.

It's very boring

MaudGonneAway · 10/04/2015 20:50

I'm with those who think people automatically compliment babies simply for being babies, but four year olds just count as part of the human race. My just-turned-three year old would be fuming if someone told him he was 'cute'. 'I NOT CUTE, I A BIG BOY!'

Yarp · 10/04/2015 20:51

Don't think the 4 year old would see it as token.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 10/04/2015 20:51

I think it's a bit wierd to comment about strange children anyway.

I generally liked mine who were of course the cutest children in the world but never really warned to other people's kids. Grin

My lads at 4 wouldn't have cared a stuff anyway. Or my girls.

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 20:51

4 is still quite young, and when he is looking and smiling at whoever is making the comment about dd and they dont say a word to him...it makes me sad...maybe its just me but i would never leave a sibling out like that even if i just said hello!

OP posts:
AlwaysDancing1234 · 10/04/2015 20:53

I know what you mean as I have a 9 month old DD and 7 year old DS. I don't expect people to say DS is cute but they could say hi to him rather than just cooing over baby dd and ignoring DS completely

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 20:57

I don't expect them to say he is cute etc, just a hello or is this your sister would be nice, just so he is not left out

OP posts:
Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 10/04/2015 21:01

But do you really encounter so many strange people commenting on your kids?

Also your dd is 11 months so not a newbie.

She must be spectacularly cute. Wink

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 21:03

Yes we do...and they are very cute Smile

OP posts:
FishSlice · 10/04/2015 21:08

If it makes you feel better, I'd rather hang out with your 4yo Grin

Babies are cute but rather annoying. Older children are (mostly) cool. Like tiny adults.

Don't let it bother you...I'm sure both your DCs are awesome.

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