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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off with people ignoring my DS

84 replies

Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 20:39

Ds (4 years), dd (11 months) and myself have been on a couple of trips out this week in the nice weather. I must have met at least four separate people who have gone out their way to say how cute dd is and oh she is gorgeous etc, while my ds is stood there looking and them and not a word to him until i make a point.

AIBU to feel so sad and angry.HmmHmm

OP posts:
ramanoop · 10/04/2015 21:10

Really, to avoid being rude, they should have complemented you too.

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 21:20

Ramanoop... Really they usually do ??

OP posts:
NotPennysBoat · 10/04/2015 21:23

YABU - we get more 'cute' comments about our Labrador than we ever had for DS at any age!! Different strokes for different folks!

FroyoBaggins · 10/04/2015 21:29

Honestly, I neither coo over babies nor really smile at children so both of your little ones would get the same non-reaction from me Wink

I will always fawn over a puppy, though Grin

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 21:31

See i wouldnt mind if you didnt say it to any of my children, my point is dont say it to one and leave the other out!

And i have never found a dog cuteConfused

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/04/2015 21:32

Ynbu. I always make a fuss of subsequent children.

26Point2Miles · 10/04/2015 21:34

Oh dear op! I have 5 dc and never expected all this fuss

Welshmaenad · 10/04/2015 21:35

4 year olds are way cuter than babies. I have a four year old, he's adorable. I'm not a baby fawner though.

m0therofdragons · 10/04/2015 21:37

I get this a lot - dd1 gets over looked because she has younger sisters who are id twins. She was 3 when they were born and used to basically say hello to anyone cooing over the twins so they had to say something to her. Don't take it personally unless it's friends and family.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 10/04/2015 21:38

How exactly do you "make the point"? Tell the stranger that your DS is also cute and ask them to agree? Confused

longdiling · 10/04/2015 21:38

Huh. It never, ever occurred to me to worry about this with my three. And I don't recall the older ones ever being bothered by the fuss their younger siblings got - they were proud if anything. My youngest is 4 and has always attracted a lot of attention. She's got a really cute face - kind of pixie-ish and a smurf-like voice. People have always fawned over her. Her older brother and sister don't seem to give a monkey's.

Original poster
Poolbirthx2 · 10/04/2015 21:41

Closer to fifty.. I make the point by saying 'and this is big brother' as i said in past posts i dont think they should say he is cute just a 'hello' would be nice.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 10/04/2015 21:41

And I have never found a dog cute

Well, you have a problem OP. You are cutist. You have a cute hierarchy. Yours isn't necessarily the correct cute hierarchy.

mewkins · 10/04/2015 21:49

We sort of have the opposite - people saying to dd (aged 4) 'your brother is a big boy isn't he?!'... he is, to be fair, massive, while dd and I are not. Also she doesn't give anyone a chance to ignore her, always chipping in and telling strangers all about us.

BumgrapesofWrath · 10/04/2015 21:50

YANBU. Strangers loved telling me how cute DS2 was whilst DS1 was stood there, and I could see that it made DS1 sad, as he already had to put up with being usurped at home without strangers passing comment

Smooshface · 10/04/2015 21:55

everyone loves babies, they are like a magnet to chatty people, before i had kids barely anyone would talk to me, now they can't help themselves.

I like to include my 5 year old if she is there and make her part of the conversation, but understand that some people don't think to make a big deal of her too. I like what someone said 'they are just part of the human race now' - that's pretty much it, they are people in their own right, not just cute blobs that don't answer back ;)

pilates · 10/04/2015 22:00

YABU

How can you get angry over something so trivial?

ChipDip · 10/04/2015 22:03

Yabu and ridiculous. People naturally are drawn towards babies.

PoppyBlossom · 10/04/2015 22:08

Are you one of those people who will buy presents for both children on each birthday op?

neverletgojack · 10/04/2015 22:08

YABU...babies are adorable, so tiny with chubby little cheeks and cute little baby grows...

I have a three year old and a two year old. Luckily nobody fawns over them anymore, if they did they would be disgusted at how how sticky they are (no idea why or how), the fact one probably has his finger up his nose, and the other his hand down his boxers.

cleanmyhouse · 10/04/2015 22:55

yeah, i remember feeling this way with my 2, it's just what happens.

It still annoys me that people don't make a massive fuss over them and they're 13 and 12. You just kinda have to get over it.

NurseRoscoe · 10/04/2015 23:04

YABU I think sorry. My DS1 is 3.5 and because he is one of the friendliest most sociable children in existence he usually says hello to people who talk to us, asks them their name and says something along the lines of 'I like your coat' so he does get people talking back to him, as he has shown he wants their attention. Past a certain age I think people feel a bit awkward talking to children if they don't seem like they want to engage in conversation, they don't know what to say or if the parents will approve. I don't think they are rude. I don't go out of my way to speak to strangers either, regardless of their age but probably would say 'awww' to a little newborn!

NurseRoscoe · 10/04/2015 23:04

YABU I think sorry. My DS1 is 3.5 and because he is one of the friendliest most sociable children in existence he usually says hello to people who talk to us, asks them their name and says something along the lines of 'I like your coat' so he does get people talking back to him, as he has shown he wants their attention. Past a certain age I think people feel a bit awkward talking to children if they don't seem like they want to engage in conversation, they don't know what to say or if the parents will approve. I don't think they are rude. I don't go out of my way to speak to strangers either, regardless of their age but probably would say 'awww' to a little newborn!

NurseRoscoe · 10/04/2015 23:06

Sorry for double post!

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/04/2015 23:15

Well I always say hello to all the children and dog

although many a time I regret it when said child goes on and on about something.

really though I don't mind I have two seconds to wave to a baby and smile and say hello to the older brother/sister.

I usually say something along teh lines of " I like your diego/MLP bag dd loves those" or "those are really sparkly shoes"

no one has to acknowledge your kids at all but should they choose to I think it's only right all get a hello. including any dogs Grin

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