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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand suburban/domestic bliss

316 replies

saltnpepa · 08/04/2015 19:32

I am beginning to wonder if I am the only person that doesn't aspire to the suburban/domestic dream of a detached modern house with a double garage, manicured lawn and 2 weeks a year in Tenerife. It seems adverts on TV and pretty much everywhere sell this dream, this image of modern family life, but it leaves me cold at best and fills me with dread at worst. Surely there's more to life than that?

OP posts:
MrsFlannel · 08/04/2015 19:33

State the obvious why don't you? I'm sure 99% of posters here agree.

Theycallmemellowjello · 08/04/2015 19:34

Well TV ads target those people as they're the ones likely to be watching TV!

daffsandtulips · 08/04/2015 19:35

Sounds ok from where I'm sitting Grin

Theycallmemellowjello · 08/04/2015 19:35

Just live the life you want - I could never live out of the city. So I'm not going to. Er that's it!

Original poster
saltnpepa · 08/04/2015 19:35

Oh really? We all agree? So why are so many people living it? I'm teetering on the edge of it and am no way living like that, I'm scared witless of it!!

OP posts:
jelliebelly · 08/04/2015 19:36

So what do you aspire to?

Rinkydinkypink · 08/04/2015 19:36

I live the suburban housewife dream except we can't afford holidays abroad and I'm in and out of work.

It's boring, dull, empty and generally frustrating!

fourteen · 08/04/2015 19:36

It's what most people have isn't it?

It depends on your situation. Anyone struggling in rented on benefits would probably, I imagine, love a house of their own, car on the drive and two weeks in Tenerife a year.

Lots of people have it and take it for granted.

For some, it's their idea of hell.

Horses for courses. Not wanting it doesn't make you a special snowflake though.

Rinkydinkypink · 08/04/2015 19:37

We don't have help btw I just do everything in an attempt to not get even more fed up.

tormentil · 08/04/2015 19:38

If you have had a chaotic and/or deprived upbringing, then aspiring for what you see to be normal is, well, very normal.

(for the record, I live in an isolated cottage with no central heating and distant views of the sea).

daffsandtulips · 08/04/2015 19:38

Well I live in a one bed property with a teen son and sleep in the front room so it does sort of sound like bliss to me.

jelliebelly · 08/04/2015 19:38

Until I reached the age of 40 I'd have thought the same as you but actually that probably sums up my life right now - And I love it - doesn't mean my life won't move in a different direction again at some point.

FenellaFellorick · 08/04/2015 19:40

Very few people live in detached modern houses with a double garage, manicured lawn and 2 weeks a year in Tenerife.

go after the life that suits you. Who cares what life others may or may not aspire to. That's for them to worry about. You have the life that you want.

expatinscotland · 08/04/2015 19:40

Sounds like the life to me! If it doesn't suit you, find something that does. No one can force you to live a life you don't want in this country.

MyOneandYoni · 08/04/2015 19:42

No - I'd rather have been born scavenging for rubbish in a shanty town somewhere?
Or, helping those scavenging for rubbish?
Or being a rock n roll star.

Whatevs.

FlappertyFlippers · 08/04/2015 19:42

But for a massive percentage of the population these things are unaffordable, home ownership is out of reach of hundreds of thousands of families, especially a large detached house, as are 2 cars, as are 2 weeks of term time holidays in Tenerife.

So you may sneer at this aspiration, but head over to the credit crunch thread or volunteer in a food bank and you'll realise that what is portrayed really is the idea of heaven to lots of families.

I think the advertisers hope to sell the lifestyle aspiration (buy this product and you'll be just like this family, even if you cant afford a house kike theirs...)

merrymouse · 08/04/2015 19:43

I don't think people aspire to it exactly - it's just what can be afforded on a comfortable income.

Difficult to aspire to a New York loft appartment or a remote welsh cottage or a James Bond villain's pad or a yurt in california given the restrictions and wages of an average job.

Original poster
saltnpepa · 08/04/2015 19:43

I know we can all live the life we want to, I am just interested if anyone else feels like me, I think I must be a minority.

OP posts:
ASAS · 08/04/2015 19:44

OP I do kind of understand what you mean, but a lot of it is about security as opposed to the mundane.

We're very boring, same jobs for nearly 10 years, married, mortgaged, it's the time of year when everyone is out mowing their modern grass. I'll be honest and say some days I know I couldn't handle life outside this bubble. I've travelled and 'lived' when I was younger, so I'm happy to be settled now. And I also know I'm very lucky to have all these comforts even on the days when the walls are closing in.

Mintyy · 08/04/2015 19:45

Oh aren't you interesting op?

Do tell what sort of life you aspire to.

daffsandtulips · 08/04/2015 19:45

I don't get the comment that we can all live the life we want to? No we can't Confused

Theycallmemellowjello · 08/04/2015 19:45

Well you haven't said what you do aspire to. Obviously loads of
people are snobby about suburbs and Tenerife!

expatinscotland · 08/04/2015 19:45

What are you, 14? 'Oh, I must be different, it's just so unfulfilling, I feel so isolated and alone. It's so hard being speshul.'

The world has 7bn people. They don't all think and feel the same way.

lertgush · 08/04/2015 19:47

I have a detached modern house with a double garage. I have an acre of land, which is not in the slightest bit manicured. I'm about to go to Florida for a week (but not to Orlando). I ski in winter and go to the beach with the three kids in summer. I have a dog. I do a bit of freelance work from home.

To be honest, it's pretty fabulous.

Hathall · 08/04/2015 19:50

I'd love all that! It doesn't mean I'd sit on my arse looking out at my manicured lawn with nothing better else to do.