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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being shy about nakedness - a British thing?

203 replies

lottieandmias · 07/04/2015 18:49

I've noticed that loads of women at the gym seem to walk around naked without batting an eyelid. I'm way to shy to ever do that. Am I hung up or not? I don't mind them doing it if they want to but I never could.

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 09/04/2015 13:41

Kmi13
I won't comment on your personal situation, because I have no wish to offend you.
But I can assure you that nudity is not, repeat not, sexuality.

takemeuptheeiffeltower · 09/04/2015 13:44

I was brought up by an exhibitionist mum who would walk half or entirely naked in the house even when (or especially when) there were workers in the house, which always mortified me.

My mother was the same, Kmi.

This is why I'm often a bit Shock at the people who say that their older children are ok with them walking round the house with their kit off.
You don't know for sure whether they are entirely comfortable with it! They could be pretending to be OK with it so as not to hurt their parents feelings, but inside they could very well be cringing with embarrassment.
I know I was especially when my mother would often walk past my friends on occasion, wearing next to nothing (probably trying to prove to the world what an unprudish a family we were, I suppose)

Its sad to think that by going too much the other way our mothers ended up making us more wary and uncomfortable about public nudity.

TheShouldersOfGiants · 09/04/2015 14:13

SinglePringle I'm the same as you. I don't parade myself but I there's no towel dance from me either, far too much effort.

I guess its each to their own.

When I do happen to notice an over elaborate towel-in-mouth-one-handed-underwear-pull-up manoeuvre occurring because it has gone on for so long, I do wonder who they think is gagging to see their white bits that much...

ThingummyJigg · 09/04/2015 14:22

I don't have a problem with people being naked and getting dry/changed.

I don't think anyone wants to see my wobbly bits at all, it's more that I don't want them exposed. They're my wobbly bits and I'll get them out if and when I wish.

And Kmi - I think those who do wander around in the buff at the gym aren't showing a lack of self respect, they're showing body confidence, which I think is a good thing. Only I don't want to see it.

Original poster
lottieandmias · 09/04/2015 14:25

I feel violated too, but I know it's my problem.

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 09/04/2015 14:29

I was one of those children brought up in a extended family wearing few clothes and usually none at all in summer. I always felt entirely comfortable, because seeing bodies of all shapes and sizes in their natural state was just the normal everyday experience. An uncovered breast was of no more or less interest than an uncovered face. My brothers and I could see that we had different features, and were told why, and we didn't need to investigate further.

As an adult now I still regard being undressed as the natural state, and the wearing of clothes as something needed only for warmth. As it happens I'm sitting here distracted by MN working at the computer with the sun shining comfortably on my uncovered skin.

Going out, I have to wear clothes to conform with others' requirements, not mine. I feel genuinely sorry for people who need to hide themselves away under clothes on a beautiful warm day. It's their free choice of course and I wouldn't attempt to persuade them otherwise, but it still seems a shame.

takemeuptheeiffeltower · 09/04/2015 14:40

Sallyingorth, you were lucky. Your family went about things in the right way and it had a positive effect on you and your siblings.
But, for the Poster who's mother would purposefully walk around naked in front of workmen , she only ended up embarrassing her child, and from the sounds of it, ended up damaging her child's body image as well. Which is sad don't you think?
Because in that particular instance, the nakedness seems to have been done purely to get a shocked 'reaction'.

AgathaF · 09/04/2015 15:19

Sallying what happens when the door bell rings? Do you answer in the buff?

ThingummyJigg · 09/04/2015 15:29

I was at school with a girl whose parents were often in the buff at home and it mortified us all. She got a bit bullied for it too. No one wanted to go to her house or knock for her to come out and play in case a naked hairy parent answered the door.

But agree with takemeup - Sallyingforth's parents seem to have got it right.

I am usually under layers of clothes unless it's a hot HOT day because I'm usually cold, so for me it's less modesty and the excruciating awfulness of the very thought of exposing myself, than preserving warmth. That said, I have arms that I think most mners would consider an actual crime and I'll wear t-shirts with gay abandon. I am also in favour of women of ANY size wearing bikinis on the beach/at the pool/etc. /though maybe not in Tesco's/

But naked cartwheels around the gym changing room I have problems with.

ShaynePunim · 09/04/2015 15:30

When I'm a foreigner living in Britain and I'm shocked at how much nakedness there is in the changing rooms.

One thing in particular that I don't care much for is the fanny blow-dry. Yes. They stand one one leg, one leg high in the air (or one foot against the wall) and dry themselves with the hairdryer.

Original poster
lottieandmias · 09/04/2015 15:31

Fanny blow dry????? Please tell me this is a joke!

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmias · 09/04/2015 15:34

Yes I also have a problem with wearing shorts in town. I would do so on the beach. I do like my body but I don't feel comfortable showing it to others (unless it's a partner). So it looks as if this is all tied up.

OP posts:
ShaynePunim · 09/04/2015 15:36

Sadly not a joke.

I wish I could erase the memory of it.

Original poster
lottieandmias · 09/04/2015 15:38

I'll bet you do Shayne Shock

OP posts:
AliceAnneB · 09/04/2015 15:38

I had to warn my American mother the first time she came to the gym with me that pretty much everyone just strips off. Her face was a picture. But to be honest I really prefer it now. It's far more liberating than the U.S. Way. There is nothing shameful about a naked body. Now the naked coed saunas on the continent did freak me out. My 75 year old Scottish MIL called me an American prude for being a bit reticent. I did in fact go in but it wasn't really my cup of tea as it was very busy and I was actually touching bums with the guy next to me!

TheShouldersOfGiants · 09/04/2015 15:39

Cannot stop laughing at fanny blow dry. I have never heard of this happening EVER! One foot against the wall??? Stop it!

ShaynePunim · 09/04/2015 15:52

But it's truuuuuuuue!

And more than once! In the same gym! Different women!

Apologies for the exclamation marks overload but it was really shocking!

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 09/04/2015 15:52

Shayne I don't believe that is a thing! I have lived in the uk for 30 years, been to many gyms/swimming pools/spas and have never seen a fanny blow dry!

Sallyingforth · 09/04/2015 15:54

Sallying what happens when the door bell rings? Do you answer in the buff?
Jacket hanging on a hook by the front door.
I also have a videophone doorbell with a monitor on my desk. I can see who is at the door and choose whether to answer.

ThingummyJigg · 09/04/2015 16:01

I too have seen the fanjo blo.

Not.
Nice.

AliceAnneB - a mixed sex naked sauna?!

thehumanjam · 09/04/2015 16:11

I've seen the fanny blow-dry too. My friend used to do until I told her that she couldn't do it in my presence.

ChoclolateOrange · 09/04/2015 16:13

Ha ha, I've seen the fanny blow dry too. This was in a gym where no one else even walk from shower to locker naked. Yuck.

ChoclolateOrange · 09/04/2015 16:16

Did your friend give a reason thehumanjam? I mean why would you do this in a public place?

Sparklingbrook · 09/04/2015 16:17

The fanny blow dry makes me feel a bit faint. Sad

ElizabethHoover · 09/04/2015 16:28

there is a difference between just being naked before putting your body cream or clothes on and walking around for AGES naked