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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being shy about nakedness - a British thing?

203 replies

lottieandmias · 07/04/2015 18:49

I've noticed that loads of women at the gym seem to walk around naked without batting an eyelid. I'm way to shy to ever do that. Am I hung up or not? I don't mind them doing it if they want to but I never could.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 08:13

I've noticed that even my 5 year old doesn't like getting changed for swimming in the communal part of the gym and insists on going into a separate cubicle.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 08:14

I don't think it is a good thing. I'm just wondering how we're so different from the rest of Europe.

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 08/04/2015 08:22

I am not British, so I'm wondering if it's always been this way, or were people more relaxed before and have adopted the prudishness from the US? There are other areas where UK is more similar to the US than rest of Europe, like allowing children independence, and that one is definitely a more recent development.

I'm not sure about the casual sex connection - for me, being naked in a sauna (also mixed saunas) or changing room simply has nothing to do with sex.

Original poster
lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 08:31

I think fourteen meant that people binge on alcohol and sex because we're repressed about body issues.

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 08/04/2015 08:39

well the nakedness certainly helps to understand that most people don't have flawless supermodel bodies.

Valsoldknickers · 08/04/2015 08:49

Irish Catholic here, we could give your British prudery a run for it's money! Hang up's , shyness, embarrassment and shame are all par for the course here (for me anyway!)

JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 08:55

I can stand naked but would not walk naked. Walking naked is just too much!

AnnieMoor · 08/04/2015 08:59

The changing room at my gym is full of naked women. I must live in a relaxed area.

Some are needlessly wandering around or straightening their hair in the buff, but most, like me, are just relaxed about being naked for the changing & showering process.

You do get the odd teen girl tying herself up in knots to ensure she is covered by her towel at all times.

Stillwishihadabs · 08/04/2015 09:08

Oh yes to Catholic Irish prudery. Aged 11 I went from a hippy let it all hangout primary school to a girls convent where they tried to hid their bras from each other- totally bizarre. I hate the rules at British pools about keeping your cozzie ON in the shower (all female shower) why ? Seems counterintuitive.

Jackieharris · 08/04/2015 09:12

My personal hell is communal changing rooms.

I wouldn't voluntarily go somewhere that had one.

I'd rather go home sweaty than shower & change at the gym.

Even giving birth I preferred to be covered up.

I just dont like being naked except in bed.

I guess it's a British thing.

Sparklingbrook · 08/04/2015 09:15

I am with you Jackie and I get fed up of being called a prude just because I don't want to be naked around other people.
I don't know if it's a British thing, but for me it's a 'me' thing, and I don't know why people have such a problem understanding it.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 09:20

You prude!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 09:21

I don't know what's wrong with 'prude'- or as I like to call it - "having a bit of grace and decorum" ;)

Sparklingbrook · 08/04/2015 09:22

I am sure all the 'naked in public' people have grace and decorum too I just don't want to join in. Grin

JohnFarleysRuskin · 08/04/2015 09:25

They do when they stand still nicely. It's when they start playing volleyball that's when it goes wrong. Always with the volleyball.

fourteen · 08/04/2015 09:27

From my own personal experience of living for a time in several other European countries, the ones with relaxed attitudes to nakedness have, conversely, much more restrictive attitudes to casual sex.

It is not seen as normal to go home with random people for a casual encounter after a night out, for instance. In fact the people I know would be shocked at that kind of behaviour.

I don't think I'm a prude about nudity, but I do realise that I had a very British attitude to changing after the gym or swimming when I first moved away from the UK. I'm happy to stand and dry off and then get changed, but the other mothers that I swim with think nothing of chasing their kids round the changing room whilst naked (adults and children naked) or sorting their hair out before they get their clothes on. I realised that I'm not truly comfortable with nudity, as I would make putting some clothes on a priority!

However they are not strutting nor flaunting. They are simply comfortable with being nude in front of others. Indeed, no one looks, no one bothers and no one judges because it just isn't a thing.

Sparklingbrook · 08/04/2015 09:27

oh don't John. Grin

fourteen · 08/04/2015 09:30

Sorry, I also meant to say that my previous point was indeed that, if Brits were more comfortable with themselves and their bodies generally, there would be no need to flaunt it all over the place when drunk.

If bodies aren't a thing, then exposing them isn't a thing, whether it's perfectly normal beach and gym exposure, or drunken "broken Britain" Friday night exposure.

Sparklingbrook · 08/04/2015 09:31

No need to expose yourself if you don't want to though.

Titsalinabumsquash · 08/04/2015 09:33

I think it depends on the setting and situation, if you're in the changing room, then by all means shower naked, it's a shower after all, but I don't see why you can't wrap a towel around you to dry your hair and then get dressed, even if you towel dry and the put undies on before drying your hair, it's still better than strutting round in the buff just because you need a blast with hair dryer.

Similar with beaches, if there are a lot of women topless sun bathing, then find but if your in a slightly chilly British beach where everyone is wearing clothes, you look ridiculous if you're the only women strolling around with your boobs jutted forward and arms open for the world to see, you may as well stick a sign around your neck saying "PLEASE LOOK AT MY MARVELLOUS TITS!" not that there's anything wrong with this, if it's your thing but you do end up looking bizarre when the other six billion people are trying to maintain some modesty.

cantthinkofnewname · 08/04/2015 09:38

Would love to shower naked in the swimming pool showers but have only got one boob (had breast cancer) so always lock myself away to change. Would be mortified if I was forced to strip off in one of these continental pools! What do women like me do in these places? Maybe they tough it out.

fourteen · 08/04/2015 09:38

No no no Titsalina, I couldn't disagree with you more.

What's with this word "strutting"? When does walking become "strutting"? And actually, showering naked, then towel drying, obviously while naked, and then putting clothes on in a relaxed and normal manner is NOT showing off! It's called getting dressed!

Compare how you get dressed at home in your bedroom with how you get dressed in a changing room. Why should there be any difference? Getting dressed is getting dressed.

Just because you're a prude does not mean that others should cover up. By all means if you want to hide under a towel then that is your prerogative, but don't get all judgey pants on others for not sharing your hang ups.

Someone sunbathing topless does not look "ridiculous" just because everyone else prefers to wear a polo neck!

Titsalinabumsquash · 08/04/2015 09:41

Back when I used to go to the gym (many moons ago Blush) there was a lady who would get unchanged and do her warm up stretches in the buff in the changing room before getting her gear on to go onto the gym floor Confused it was always slightly off putting to look up from tying my shoe lace if similar to see her bent over in my face in done pose or another, she would just casually smile and proclaim how small the changing rooms were at that gym..

whitecandles · 08/04/2015 09:42

I've lived in various countries and the UK is the only place where people would bat an eye an nakedness.

I'm currently in Korea, where spas are very common. A spa in Korea is very much a naked thing, and people of all ages go. The old women scrub each other down, every single inch of their body, and I mean EVERY inch.

Groups of same sex friends in there totally naked, just hanging out. No big deal.

Last time I was there, a group of British girls came in and refused to take off their towels. They were shouted at pretty harshly because it is just not the done thing. They were causing a massive fuss, going on about how mortified they were, how they just couldn't be naked in front of each other and I just...ugh. Who cares? I'm fine with my body. Not perfect, but I have some scars, some hair in places I can't be arsed dealing with...same as everyone.

The Brits really need to get over this attitude if they're gonna go abroad and go to spas. If you can't handle being naked, then don't go to a spa.

And as for being naked in a changing room...how else are you supposed to change???

Titsalinabumsquash · 08/04/2015 09:46

Body language speaks volumes though, there is a huge difference between the 2 behaviours.
As I said, I don't think either stance is wrong or shameful or bad blah, blah, blah but I personally find it a bit much sometimes. (I know IABU! Wink)