Being shy about nakedness - a British thing?

[lottieandmias]

I've noticed that loads of women at the gym seem to walk around naked without batting an eyelid. I'm way to shy to ever do that. Am I hung up or not? I don't mind them doing it if they want to but I never could.

As before, I think that fourteen has it nailed.

What I don't understand is all the horror at seeing other women's 'fanjos'. Does that mean the full works - labia, clitoris etc (which I don't think is credible) or (pass me the smelling salts) a sight of someone's pubic hair.

This seems to come up so often. It certainly is a British thing.
Clothes are unnatural. Hiding the body is unnatural.

Humans evolved in tropical regions and had no need for clothes. It was only when they migrated to colder regions that they started wearing animal skins for warmth. Then it turned into a fashion thing.

I was brought up in a family where clothes were only worn when needed for warmth. We saw every shape and size of male and female body and didn't notice or judge them. I still don't understand why people find the need to hide certain carefully selected little bits of their bodies. Every part of the human body has its evolved function and is equally valid. I don't see that a hand should be any more or less hidden than a breast or a penis.

I regard this obsession with hiding body parts as being positively unhealthy, as it makes them more of a target for those who have never seen them.

And don't get me started on clothes that not only hide parts of the body but are actually designed to emphasise and bring attention to the very bits that are hidden. What's that all about?

Go on then you prudes. Judge me.

I am not judging anyone. Everyone do whatever they like. I am not obsessed with anything, nor do I live in a tropical region sadly.

It's just not for me.

I expect to see hands in the street but not a penis. I don't think that's allowed is it?

I used to shower with my mixed Volleyball team in Germany, totally normal, everybody does it. I completely freaked out everybody when I got undressed in a women only changing room the first time I went to a pool in NZ. Until then I had no idea that some women find other women's nakedness problematic.

I went to visit a friend in Germany for the weekend recently. Her city has a gondola ride over the middle of the city, the river and a park. At one point the gondola goes straight over the outdoor nude section of the local spa.

I admit I was a bit surprised . I don't mind getting naked whilst showering or changing, but I would probably draw the line at sunbathing naked underneath the local tourist attraction...

cantthink you wouldn't feel like you have to tough it out. As everybody gets naked, people have seen it all - scars, imperfections, missing boobs etc. So would not be a big deal.

It's entirely up to individuals whether they strip naked in public communal areas or not, but I don't like the apparently coercive element, that I have to strip without wanting to or I risk being shouted at or mocked for being prudish. I am not ashamed of my mastectomy scar but don't particularly want people staring.

There have been nude sunbathers in the Englischer Garten in Munich ever since I remember it fourteen or along the Isar.
It's a useful corrective to all the airbrushed images of human bodies you see in the media.

Cantthink I totally understand. I've got a reconstructed tit (with no nipple at the moment) and I don't think I could cope with people looking at it. I'm not prudish and have stripped off in the past.

yes, Derxa there are lots of reasons why people don't want to strip off in front of others like, not all to do with prudishness. Though I am sure your nippleless boob looks great.

I understand where you're both coming from, of course.

I think the fact of it is that in countries and cultures with more relaxed attitudes to nudity, any body is unremarkable. The lack of interest is a naked person is a general acceptance of all shapes, sizes and scars.

However I accept that a heightened awareness of your own "unusual" body is probably to be expected.

I hope I've worded that right...

Don't worry fourteen. If you asked me I would whip off my bra and show you the damn thing. However I wouldn't be happy in a changing room at the moment. The bravest thing I ever saw was an evening at hospital where mastectomy ladies stood in a line stripped to the waist to show us the results of their surgery. They chose to be there though. It's the difference between being in control and not.

The first time I saw a mastectomy scar was soon after diagnosis when a volunteer showed me hers. I was in my mid 40s and had never seen one before. I take your point fourteen about greater acceptance of different body types and relationship to wider culture, but I have encountered nudist 'zealots' before now who are incredibly insensitive and attribute all modesty to repression. I find that attitude as oppressive as prudishness.

I went to a sauna / spa thing in Holland a little while back. All totally naked. All mixed -including the changing rooms.

Now you'd never get that in the UK

All my Dutch friends laughed at me for being a bit shocked about it!

I'm less bothered about other people's than my own, which is weird.

I just can't bear the thought of people looking at me and appraising. I know, my issue, why would they?....blah blah blah...

At my bikram yoga studio it's almost a rule to dry hair and apply makeup before even considering putting pants on. I find it quite liberating. However, I've found a real difference there (fairly hippyish vibe for want of a better word) and the gym when I lived in Brussels that was quite similar compared to other British gyms. I tend to act accordingly depending on how others are behaving.

And yes, I find the labelling of me as a "prude" by women who let it all hang out and want everyone else to do so as well really fucking wearisome.

Yep, it's a British thing. So? Every culture has it's own 'things' - we just accept them. If we start criticising what people from other countries do and don't do (providing it's not harmful, demeaning or whatever) them we start becoming a bit of a twat. Same thing here - live and let live.

It's not just being naked though- all very normal in a changing room. It's the fact that some women seem to really make a show of themselves and are really inconsiderate when they do it.

Do you really need to spend forever bending with your leg up on a bench putting on moisturizer and practically rubbing shoulders with me when I was here first? Do you have to blow dry your hair at the mirror naked? Do you need to do your cool down stretches in the changing room naked?

Have your shower, get dressed!

I'm at ease wandering around in the buff, complete with lard and stubble! I don't mind if you want to cover up but I don't feel you have the right to insist I do, too.

I don't think I'm very British, really.

Not all the 'prudes' are actually offended by naked people. I don't really care what anyone does. It's all about me not wanting to be naked, or feel a bit uncomfortable seeing naked strangers. me-not them.

It doesn't cause me daily problems though.

I think I'm a prude - I was brought up to be very private. As a child I never saw my own mother naked (that i can remember)
When I went to get a bra fitting when I was pregnant I was embarrassed about that.
It all went out the window when I gave birth though - I think every professional in the ward saw me in the buff! Ha!

Why is it mostly women who have this issue, though? Men's changing rooms aren't full of blokes doing complex towel dances and averting shocked eyes.

DH feels the same as me about being naked in public. We are well matched.

You are, Sparkling. You should invent a two-person towel tent for mixed changing, and make a small fortune