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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being shy about nakedness - a British thing?

203 replies

lottieandmias · 07/04/2015 18:49

I've noticed that loads of women at the gym seem to walk around naked without batting an eyelid. I'm way to shy to ever do that. Am I hung up or not? I don't mind them doing it if they want to but I never could.

OP posts:
pottydiaries · 08/04/2015 19:10

Nothing freaks me out these days (and tbh, nakedness never did - must be my hockey-playing youth coming to the fore), after being in Russian banyas where nakedness is pretty much required, even from the ladies working there. In fact, on one memorable occasion I was given an all-over scrub by a woman wearing flip flops, exfoliating gloves and... nothing else. When she walked towards me carrying a rubber hose trickling water, have to admit, that was a tricky moment. An American friend who was lying on the next table going through the experience with me chose this moment to drawl 'This wouldn't happen in Texas, y'all... Quite.

Firsttimer7259 · 08/04/2015 20:32

I find the getting all contorted so you aren't naked ever just odd. You don't make a song and dance of it - ie putting on make up or blow drying hair in the buff. But otherwise just be naked for a few seconds it's ok. take towel off before putting bra on etc. I usually do halves so I don't offen. British sensibilities but I do find grown women scurrying about like young girls in the first flush of puberty quite bizarre.

Original poster
lottieandmias · 08/04/2015 21:03

Pottydiaries Grin

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 08/04/2015 21:21

It is largely a UK and US thing. I blame Oliver Cromwell and Queen Victoria.

revealall · 08/04/2015 21:33

I was quite happy getting naked when I played team sport. I don't mind being naked in front of the kids. However I find the whole gym/ spa nakedness though a bit competitive. All the painted toe nails and lack of pubic hair are a bit flauntyor the less maintained have this sort of air of defiance. There is no sense of relaxed about it IMO.

debbietheduck · 08/04/2015 21:42

I think it's healthy to see normal people naked! If we all covered up all the time, nobody would know what an imperfect body looks like, they would only see the airbrushed ones in magazines etc most of the time. I'm happy to provide a public service by getting mine out whenever appropriate.

I would regard a gym changing room as appropriate, not Sainsbury's or anything.

thehumanjam · 08/04/2015 22:00

I remember once when we were on holiday in Europe when ds1 was a toddler. Dh was playing in the sea with ds and this very young very attractive Scandinavian with huge topless breasts decided that ds1 was very cute and decided to have a chat with dh and practice her English. Dh did not know where to put his face and was trying to walk away from her whilst she kept scooping up ds and jumping up and down to avoid the waves. It just seem so unnecessary and inappropriate but then I'm from a repressed Brit/Irish background and I'll probably never understand the Scandinavian attitude to nudity.

takemeuptheeiffeltower · 08/04/2015 22:32

wonder if the same people who hate women showing their bodies in communal changing rooms are people who would hate a full body massage? I have a couple of friends like this - hate scalp being massaged, hate massage of any sort, hate anyone touching them.

Rousette, hate to be the one to tell you this, but most people who give the impression of not enjoying their massage (whether it be scalp or full body) is because the person doing the massaging is CRAP and it doesn't feel good even though the masseuse thinks they're good and the next best thing since sliced bread
Out of hundreds of scalp massages, at hairdressers and a fair few shoulder massages and back and body massages I've received in my time, I could count the number of times the massage was good on one hand. Make that half a hand.

Not enjoying a massage has NOTHING to do with prudeness.

thehumanjam · 08/04/2015 23:43

I like a massage but I'm not comfortable with nudity. I only like massages by people I'm paying to massage me or my husband. If a colleague or acquaintance decides I look tense and starts touching my shoulders they have massively overstepped the line.

textfan · 09/04/2015 05:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoxofSnails · 09/04/2015 05:57

In my head I completely agree that bodies of all shapes and sizes are nothing at all to be embarrassed about.
But in practice, I hate my overweight post child and post massive accident body. I was mortified in Iceland with the naked showering. And kicking myself for it at the same time.

Lilylonglegs · 09/04/2015 06:14

I don't even change or shower at the gym I can't bear to, there is hardly any privacy so I'd rather get home where I can strip freely.

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 09/04/2015 06:47

I have never felt particularly comfortable being naked in changing rooms, or seeing other women naked, but could never really fathom why, so began 'daring' myself and eventually managed to stop the towel dance. I was one of those people beforehand who put my sports bra on top of my normal one then wriggled the normal one off, but I mostly got over it. However, I now have had four large babies, and no breasts (bc), and aside from the fact that I don't have the motivation or energy to go to the gym right now, I just don't think I could get naked any more, even to change. I'm such a strange sight, and unfortunately a bit ashamed of my body right now. Not so bothered by others nakedness any more right enough.

SinglePringle · 09/04/2015 06:49

Painted toenails and waxed bikini lines are flaunty!?!

Righto...

millymae · 09/04/2015 06:51

I'm just about to go for an early morning swim at my local council run swimming baths. There's a core group of us with a wide age range, the eldest is just over 80 and the youngest early twenties. Others come and go and whilst some choose to use the few private changing cubicles and the individual showers if free, the vast majority use the communal facilities and get naked in the process. When I first started I was one of those who kept myself covered, but 2 years down the line I'm not in the least bothered by being naked myself or seeing others with no clothes on. TBH I don't even think about it anymore and it's so much easier getting showered and dried.

Roussette · 09/04/2015 07:15

takemeuptheeiffeltwoer... ahhhh well, I do think you are wrong on that. My two friends hate the idea of massage - it's all "Ewww, Urghhh... I wouldn't want anyone touching me" type thing. I know them really well and they are funny about their bodies, don't like the idea type people. I'm sure there's rubbish massage out there but they are like it about anyone touching them!

Three of us happened to be somewhere abroad where there was a divine Spa and we'd decided beforehand to have a treatment or two, one of them had a birthday so we were treating her. Other friend said she would have the massage, me and other friend loved it (best massage I've ever had and I've had a few). Friend didn't like it.

whitecandles · 09/04/2015 07:59

Rousette - I am really not into the idea/feeling of strangers touching me. Hate having my hair done, HATE the scalp massage (that I am far too British to ask them not to do), have disliked every massage I've ever had. I've had a fair few massages and I'm sure objectively some were good - I am just not able to relax into it.

But totally fine with people seeing me naked. Just doesn't bother me at all, and never has. My family are fairly prudish, but my mum was definitely ok with being naked in front of us when we were young (not much choice when your entire family live in a one bed flat). And maybe it helps that she really doesn't/didn't give a chuff about her appearance. I am definitely glad I didn't grow up with a mum who fussed about weight and dieting and clothes and such. I think it gave me a much healthier outlook on my own body.

Roussette · 09/04/2015 08:06

whitecandles that's my theory gone then! Grin

ThingummyJigg · 09/04/2015 08:50

LotusLight - that is exactly why I will never be naked in a changing room. Because I am obese and people don't exactly find that beautiful. In fact, they judge.

Original poster
lottieandmias · 09/04/2015 08:54

Ah, now see, full body massages I absolutely love. But then it's just me and a therapist and I'm covered by a towel.

OP posts:
ElizabethHoover · 09/04/2015 08:57

No there's definitely a difference between normal towelling dry and dressing and drying your hair naked. Definitely.

You only have to have witnessed it to see its not for for practical reasons.

I just drive home sweaty.

SinglePringle · 09/04/2015 09:04

I dry my hair in just bra and knickers at the gym. Or just knickers on occasion. I cannot abide having something round my neck when drying my hair - I find it hugely irritating - and the grief of keeping a towel up and manoeuvring hair drier, brush etc is a right pain. If I'm in a single sex changing room then I really can't be arsed to give a stuff if someone sees my boobs / thong etc.

Kmi13 · 09/04/2015 11:33

I don't think it's a British thing, I thing it depends on people.
I am French, I was brought up by an exhibitionist mum who would walk half or entirely naked in the house even when (or especially when) there were workers in the house, which always mortified me. I, on the other hand, have been prudish since the age of 7, so much so that I can't even go to a swimming pool or the beach. As a teen, I would wash in the dark because I could not stand to see my naked body. I am not so bad now but to me, even showing legs or arms in public is too much information, I am fiercely against mini-skirts/shorts and sleeveless tops, even if it is 35 degrees or more. I just find exposing your body to strangers' gaze indecent, nudity is sexuality and it is a private matter. Nudity is for your lover, and for a few awkward situations like seeing your gynaecologist/obstetrist, giving birth or getting a wax. Even if your body looks great, I think not exposing it to other people's eyes shows self-respect and respect of others, I cannot stand to see someone who isn't intimate with me half or entirely naked, I feel violated every time it happens.

ThingummyJigg · 09/04/2015 13:36

Kmi13 and I thought I had issues......

Are you OK?

UnsolvedMystery · 09/04/2015 13:39

Yeuk can't bear seeing naked women at the gym. Who wants to see bushes on display either bare or wild. Makes me feel a bit sick.

Naked women make you feel sick??

I strip, shower, dry and dress in pretty much the same way as I do at home. If the sight of my naked body makes you feel sick then that is entirely your problem. I won't be making any effort to conceal myself!