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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dread whole weekend wedding?

107 replies

ApplesTheHare · 07/04/2015 15:53

Got a save the date stating wedding will be from Friday to Sunday. It's 3.5 hours away as well... aaargh!

Aibu and will it actually be lovely??

OP posts:
pearpotter · 08/04/2015 04:58

B&Gs need to realise that most weddings are not half as much fun for the guests as it is for you who know everybody. Keep your guests in food, booze and seats (especially while endless photos are being taken) Less is definitely more.

MidniteScribbler · 08/04/2015 05:21

I only camp under five stars.

I can't get over the arrogance of assuming that not only do 200 people want to give up an entire weekend to celebrate someone else's wedding, but that they will be so thrilled about the idea that they will be willing to camp.

CornChips · 08/04/2015 07:38

Well, I agree with everyone on the idea of a whole weekend wedding.Not to derail but I have actually been to a whole weekend farewell for a former boss. I had been working there for about 2 weeks, and the boss insisted her whole team under her go away for her farewell. It was dire. We went to a spa thingie cum mid-range resort, and had group activities. Itwas flipping expensive and two of the staff were interns earning fuck all.

It still makes me laugh to think why any boss thinks her staff want to do that.

As you were.

Original poster
ApplesTheHare · 08/04/2015 09:08

UPDATE: the gps have been invited too meaning dd has to come!

Double aargh. Still holding onto the fact DH is up for a hotel. I don't really know who all these kids are that the bride has been hanging out with at festivals and why their parents have been pretending the experience is effortlessly joyful Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
ApplesTheHare · 08/04/2015 09:09

Corn and you had to pay for that pleasure?

Bogey are you from THE FUTURE??

OP posts:
Babayaggatheboneylegged · 08/04/2015 09:21

I just don't understand what kind of set-up/PROVISIONS the bride and groom are going to be making for the guests and kids, apart from giant Jenga? Is all food and drink provided? Will you have to bring your own tent, or are you camping, disaster-refugee style under one giant circus tent in rows of camp beds?!

I've taken my toddler to a festival. We mostly had a brilliant time, but we had to cart a hell of a lot of stuff, there was a kids' field full of stuff to entertain her, a funfair, helter skelter etc etc. It was in August, but an unseasonably cold weekend, which added to the volume of stuff we had to bring to ensure we didn't all freeze to death. We brought most of our own food, but there were plentiful food stalls, bars, bins, composting toilets, etc etc ETC. And even with all that stuff on hand, it was hard work when our kid woke up at 6am and one of us had to throw clothes on and get her out of the family camping area and into the main arena before she woke everyone else up.

I think if I were you I'd just say that your daughter won't sleep well in a tent, so you'll all be miserable in that case, then go for the hotel and turn up washed, fed and nicely refreshed for the festival-style 'fun' during the days.

fatlazymummy · 08/04/2015 09:34

I don't understand the point of this kind of thing ,really. Yes, some people like camping but it's pretty much a minority interest in this day and age. The chances are that the majority of the guests won't want to do it either. And most adults aren't really into playing games either.
Just sounds like a massive waste of time to me, apart from the actual wedding of course.

Twistedheartache · 08/04/2015 09:37

I love all of my friends to bits not enough to camp, especially with a 1 year old!
Fortunatelythey also know me & Wouldn't expect it!
I've been to a weekend wedding where b&g hired youth hostel for the weekend & it was great. Chilled out start to the weekend, food drink & giant jenga (inside) Already on site on wedding day so no stress about travelling/getting hot & sticky in nice clothes, expectations on payment clearly spelt out etc. I think if you know enough people going & it is considerately planned definitely argument pro weekend long weddings.

hackmum · 08/04/2015 09:50

It sounds unspeakably awful.

echt · 08/04/2015 09:52

I must say it sounds fucking horrible.

rollonthesummer · 08/04/2015 09:57

Just because the grandparents are invited, it doesn't mean they have to a. Go, b. Camp. My parents wouldn't camp if you paid them, especially not in October!

In the words of Zammo: just say no.

Book a hotel and laugh hysterically if anyone mentions the words camping/field/one year old/October in the same sentence. You honestly won't be the only ones. Bride sounds like a cow to be honest!!

DidoTheDodo · 08/04/2015 09:59

What is it with jenga? I hate bloody jenga. Why do people think jenga is fun? I never want to play jenga...ever. Indoors or outdoors, big or small.

NO JENGA.

Thank you for listening!

SwedishEdith · 08/04/2015 10:01

God, I hadn't even really thought about the toilet situation. Cold, damp, overflowing portaloos in October with drunken and hungover guests.

ohtheholidays · 08/04/2015 10:02

I was going to say let Grandparents have LO,stay in a hotel,eat lots of lovely food and get pissed and you'll forget all about it being in October in the UK.

That's that idea buggered then.

MyballsareSandy · 08/04/2015 10:11

Oh dear . I've camped with 1 year olds .... They just kept running off, nowhere to contain them. Don't take your DD.

rollonthesummer · 08/04/2015 10:30

There's only one thing worse than giant jenga....that's queuing with a one year old, whilst 200 other people play it first!!

Original poster
ApplesTheHare · 08/04/2015 10:41

Having thought about it, I'm not even sure the B&G are into camping beyond the festivals they go to, which of course are in summer! DH has agreed to hotel now and the gps definitely won't camp so looks like we've escaped the tent. My main worry now is what the rest of the set-up will be like. If we're not staying in a tent on-site will there be somewhere to dump the mountains of crap we'll need to take for dd..?Shock I just looked att the save the date again and there's nothing about food or entertainment or anything. I know that's not usually on a save the date but I think it's different if they're asking you to go and stay for THREE days Shock In fact the std is incredibly bare beyond the date and venue... strange!

OP posts:
momb · 08/04/2015 10:48

Hang on a minute.
It's a Save the Date: of course it doesn't have information yet.
All that will be in the main invitation which will come out a few months before the wedding.
You know these people quite well. Certainly they know your DH well enough to ask him to be Best man. Just be patient. You'll have weeks of notice to fill in anything you feel is missing from their plans regarding provision for your DD at that point.

We had a one day festival/fete informal wedding and we had loads to do during the day, but we didn't put it all on the save the dates 6 months in advance: that would have been slightly over-organised/bordering on wedding insanity/bridezilla surely?

You and your DH have to go, your DD has to go if the GP are attending, and you've decided on a hotel. That's all you can do at this stage.

Bogeyface · 08/04/2015 14:21

Bogey are you from THE FUTURE??

I am actually Dr Who, but ssshhh, dont tell anyone Wink

MsRinky · 08/04/2015 18:42

I love camping, but May - September only, and really June-August is better. And I am a complete camping ponce with a lovely campervan kitted out with cashmere blankets and feather duvets. Camping in UK in October = hypothermia.

You say there's a venue. Any chance at all it is an organised glamping type thingy with tepees or yurts with woodburners? I did go to a wedding here which was was lovely (albeit in August) www.thebivouac.co.uk/

Or is the "venue" a field? And if so, how close is the hotel? Are you going to have to stay sober to get back to it?

holls2000 · 08/04/2015 21:14

camping. october. 1 year old.

nah.

hotel it. Grin

Alanna1 · 08/04/2015 21:15

I've had loads of fun at whole weekend weekends.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 08/04/2015 21:36

TBH, if you've got a 1yo, I'd be looking at local attractions to go to especially as GPs will be there too. See it as a weekend away with bits of the wedding you can dip in/out off as needed based on suitability.

I certainly wouldn't camp outside of peak UK summertime and would indeed book a hotel at the slightest hint of rain. That's before factoring in a 1yo. We went camping in early September (just DH and I before children) and it was cold at night, even though we had really warm weather during the day.

Are they providing meals or are they expecting campers to be cooking for themselves? This would be key as you'll need to factor in food if you're staying off-site.

Original poster
ApplesTheHare · 09/04/2015 08:35

Momb I know it's a save the date, and they usually don't have any info on, but you think if the B&G are asking people to give up 3 days there'd be a bit of reassurance that they're not just being dumped in a field??

Purple food is always my main concern - I like to know where my next meal is coming from! Grin Whatever they provide I imagine I'll have to cart along a load of random kid food too depending on what dd is eating then.

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2rebecca · 09/04/2015 09:52

You don't have to go for the whole weekend just because you have been invited for it. If you just want to spend 1 night at a hotel and go to the actual wedding and party then say that. My kids were awful in strange bedrooms age 1 so i wouldn't have wanted to stay for more than 1 night.
I don't understand why so many people on mumsnet have difficulty declining invitations that don't suit them.
If I planned a weekend wedding I'd rather people told me (in plenty of time) that they were only coming to part of it or that they weren't coming than that they came and were unhappy.
As you haven't even had an invitation yet it all seems a bit premature. They might change their mind about what they want anyway. This save the date thing is a new fad.

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