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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dread whole weekend wedding?

107 replies

ApplesTheHare · 07/04/2015 15:53

Got a save the date stating wedding will be from Friday to Sunday. It's 3.5 hours away as well... aaargh!

Aibu and will it actually be lovely??

OP posts:
Original poster
ApplesTheHare · 07/04/2015 19:28

Tracy Barlow pmsl! That shouldn't be funny but it sounds like the WORST wedding ever!

OP posts:
mateysmum · 07/04/2015 19:34

If you have the option to leave DD with Grandparents do it. You will be more relaxed and able to endure any camping trials. and if all else fails Granny can call with a "DD emergency" which requires you to dash home at once!"

Original poster
ApplesTheHare · 07/04/2015 19:35

Hmmm, just asked DH if he knows any more details. He was with me on the hotel room (phew!!) and semi-with me on using dd as an excuse to escape to said hotel room, but then went on to say bride 'has spent lots of time with small children', all at festivals, and thinks it will be a perfect weekend for all the kids so dd should probably spend as much time getting involved as possible.

Now I used to LOVE festivals and I'm sure this topic could have it's own thread, but I can't help but think people who think it's a 'perfect' idea to take los to festivals are just ageing hipsters who can't accept life changes one you have a kid Confused

Oh god, maybe I am BU... I suppose it's nice that she wants the kids to have a nice time!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 07/04/2015 19:37

I still would not camp in a tent in October even childfree. No chance. Motorhome, campervan or hotel/cottage.

ItsADinosaur · 07/04/2015 19:40

Festivals are in the summer though!

Almostfifty · 07/04/2015 19:41

October is the problem, though I've camped in May and September and had dire weather.

I'd hire a motor home if I were you, you've your own room, shower etc, and can come and go as you please.

pootlebug · 07/04/2015 19:43

I love camping. But not in October. And even more definitely not in October with small a small child.

Bride has an idealised view about children at festivals, thinking this will all be a pseudo-festival vibe. The harsh reality:

  • Kids having fun at festivals still get pissed off from time to time…she's only ever seen the good bits!
  • Festivals involving kids happen in the summer months, for good reason

I've taken LOs to festivals. With heaps of fun, and some tougher bits. All were in July or August.

Spotifymuse · 07/04/2015 19:48

No camping, no jenga giant or otherwise.

Bogeyface · 07/04/2015 20:11

I have taken my lot to festivals and its been fun. My favourite photo is of DD2 at 6 months old, butt naked and surrounded by empty beer cans and hairy arsed bikers :o The kids had a whale of a time but it wasnt exactly relaxing, you need eyes everywhere.

The problem with this is that its neither one nor the other. With a festival you know what to expect so you go prepared, there is always something going on to entertain you and any kids, there is always food available (if you are prepared to risk it!), usually a fun fair etc too. This is just going to be a load of strangers in a field, no entertainment, no food outlets, no fun fair...Giant Jenga isnt going to cut it! Then you chuck in the added stress of getting ready for and attending a wedding, its just isnt going to work.

I suspect the bride is imagining everyone round the campfire, chatting, singing etc the nights away when in reality you will have the stressed parents who are trying to keep to their routine in an impossible situation and roaring at anyone who farts within a 5 mile radius in case it wakes up their little darling. Uncle Knobhead who gets pissed within 5 minutes of arriving and decides to introduce himself to everyone by walking into their tent uninvited and not leaving. Auntie Knobhead who appoints herself as camp commandant and tuts and complains at any child who dares to look like it might be having a nice time. Cousin Knobhead who decides that communal camping means that someone else will look after her vile brats while she gets afloat to the tonsils on Blue WKD. The friend of the groom who cant accept that he isnt 21 anymore, smokes weed around the kids and tries to get off with any female adult in the vicinity, marital status unimportant, then calls you a lesbian if you turn him down. The bitch friends of the bride who look down their noses at anything and anyone, especially someone who has dared to bring a child with them, refuse to speak to anyone outside their select friendship group, and at least one will at some point be discovered by a shocked MotB getting shagged from behind in public by the grooms friend mentioned above,......

Should I go on?! :o

BlinkAndMiss · 07/04/2015 20:47

Not a chance in hell would I be camping for a 3 day wedding, especially with my 1 yo. A 3 day wedding sounds awful anyway but this sounds terrible. How are you supposed to get ready for a wedding in a tent whilst trying to control a 1yo?

So the bride has spent time with little ones at a festival so this will be great - yep, because that's the same thing. I imagine the bride will be right there to offer assistance with muddy feet, feeding without a highchair or other restraint, keeping the little one in bed at night etc, etc. of course she will! She won't be busy being a bride at all.

Seriously, you need a hotel if you are to survive this 3 day 'event' with a little one. The bride sounds mental. Camping in October!

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 07/04/2015 21:20

You paint a beautiful picture Bogey Grin

oobedobe · 07/04/2015 23:45

I've been to two weekend weddings and they were both fab. One was mine and one was my brother's! Both overseas.
Friday night informal 'rehearsal' dinner
Saturday afternoon outdoor wedding followed by food/dancing
Sunday morning big brunch/lounging around

I think they are great for smaller weddings, where guests are travelling a (very) long way, and what you are offering in terms of food/accommodation is very good.

Camping in October does not sound appealing.

Bogeyface · 08/04/2015 00:00

Penguin

Beautiful and accurate :o

TheWintersmith · 08/04/2015 00:01

AWww bogey

I want to go now. Sounds ace.

Bogeyface · 08/04/2015 00:02

:o You know, as I read it back I was thinking "Purely for the MN updates, the OP should definitely go!"

rollonthesummer · 08/04/2015 00:03

The bride 'being around lots of children at festivals' made me laugh! I presume none of them were hers?! So she didn't have to actually look after them, feed them, pack 400 pieces of baby-related paraphernalia into a tent and then get no sleep because it's freezing and the baby howls all night!

She's insane. It sounds awful and there's no way I would be going.

I went to a wedding of a friend of DH once before we got married. The couple kindly let us and all their other university mates get ready and sleep in their house before/after.

There were 12 of us tripping over each other trying to get poshed up politely fighting over one bathroom with one mirror. This was with no children and in a house in the warm. It was still bloody difficult and everyone got a bit tetchy!! Imagine trying to get ready in the middle of a field in a cold muddy tent whilst you're trying to stop a one year old pegging it across the field?!

Don't do it!!

BadLad · 08/04/2015 02:54

Who dreams up plans like this?

Bogeyface · 08/04/2015 02:57

Who dreams up plans like this?

People with more money than sense

JessieMcJessie · 08/04/2015 03:30

With 200 guests the bride will have barely a millisecond to spare to play at festivals with your DD. You said you'd gladly leave her with GPs, so do it. It's not at all compulsory for her to go and in the scheme of things the bride might be disappointed about this willbarely register. Personally I love giant jenga but would also draw the line at camping if we had to also dress up formally. You don'tneed DD as an excuse not to camp though,just be honest.

MontysMum8 · 08/04/2015 03:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessieMcJessie · 08/04/2015 03:45

Montysmum it's 7 consecutive days for England, but doesn't have to immediately precede the wedding, can be within 3 or 6 months IIRC. No residence requirement for Scotland, that is why we got married there.

JessieMcJessie · 08/04/2015 03:53

Double checked, what I said about 3or 6 months was not right, it is only one: you must be resident 7 days before you give notice and must get married within 28 days of giving notice.

munchkinmaster · 08/04/2015 03:57

Use child As excuse to book hotel but then I imagine she'll prob be a bit poorly and stay with her gran......

munchkinmaster · 08/04/2015 04:24

Shit bogeyface were you at my wedding? Outed!

BlueStarsAtNight · 08/04/2015 04:52

Sounds like my idea of hell!
I don't understand why you would even contemplate taking dd to that kind of a wedding if you have people that you are happy for her to stay with instead - if you take her it sounds like you'll all have a rubbish time and be mega stressed, but if she stays with gp's you may actually be able to enjoy it. I'd still say no to camping though....or at least would book a hotel that you can cancel free up to the day of your stay if the weather happens to look nice ao you have the option of camping then if you choose to!