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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to dread whole weekend wedding?

107 replies

ApplesTheHare · 07/04/2015 15:53

Got a save the date stating wedding will be from Friday to Sunday. It's 3.5 hours away as well... aaargh!

Aibu and will it actually be lovely??

OP posts:

Littlemonstersrule · 07/04/2015 17:19

I'd be waving DH off. There's no chance I'd be camping in October just because some bride thinks it's a fab idea for a few days.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/04/2015 17:22

Get a Winnebago. Camping in October with a 1 yo? FTFO.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 07/04/2015 17:24

Id be really up for that sort of wedding but not in October. There will be rain. There may be snow. It could be cold. UK?

mateysmum · 07/04/2015 17:32

Now OP, you have to promise on the holy grail of Mumsnet that you will keep us informed as each new detail comes to light. I sense that your no doubt lovely friends are about to turn bridezilla on you. This is clearly not just a wedding, it is an EVENT!

I do so hope you are wrong about the camping. That would make me refuse to go straight away. On the up side it could be a lovely relaxing weekend meeting old friends and new.

Are you sure your DD is invited or is your next thread going to be one of those "no child wedding AIBUs"

Looking forward to hearing more!

CaTsMaMmA · 07/04/2015 17:33

ahhh, they are having you on...

let's make out it'll be for the whole weekend...AND camping...AND in October

everyone is going to make their excuses and then the B&G can book some smart chi-chi hotel, Dinner Bed and Breakfast for the 7 people who actually commit to going.

ItsADinosaur · 07/04/2015 17:34

Camping in October with a 1 year old? You've got to be joking! Get a hotel room.

I wouldn't camp in October without a 1 year old....

expatinscotland · 07/04/2015 17:36

'It will be outdoorsy - spontaneous game of giant jenga by the lake, anybody?? - and in October. I think we'll be expected to camp but I'm not so keen as our dd will be 1. '

Hotel or cottage or he goes alone.

MistressDeeCee · 07/04/2015 17:37

I like weddings but wouldn't want to spend the whole weekend at one. & Im not outdoorsy in the least..outdoor "fun" in October?! The stuff of nightmares to me. Why not just go to the ceremony and the evening/nightime bit, then go home? Your DH can stay on, that way it doesn't look too bad. As its a whole weekend thing Im sure you won't be the only one who can't do the whole 3 days

Dowser · 07/04/2015 17:40

Ours is a whole week!

Not camping though!

Hillingdon · 07/04/2015 17:44

Do people honestly thinking that a camping wedding in Oct is a good idea.

Are they bananas!!

ChoosandChipsandSealingWax · 07/04/2015 17:51

There is absolutely no way I would camp with a one year old in the UK in October. I would go but stay in a hotel or whatever and let DH camp by himself. I think it's probably too asking for your DC to get some kind of respiratory illness which would ruin it all for you (at best...danger at worst...I wouldn't risk it for that alone, quite apart from the discomfort and them waking up in the night and you having a terrible two nights sleep leaving you not really up to enjoying the wedding). And you'd have to go to bed early anyway - hardly a big night of celebrating until dawn or whatever they expect of DH. I would only do it if my DC could go to my DM.

SwedishEdith · 07/04/2015 17:55

Is the actual wedding going to be very informal? I can't imagine actually getting ready properly for a wedding in a tent.

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 07/04/2015 18:18

Sounds horrific no sensible advice or suggestions

Original poster

ApplesTheHare · 07/04/2015 18:23

It's UK and formal-ish from the look of the STD.

TheWild I can understand yours being for a weekend with wanting to spend as much time with guests as possible, but I'm scared this one could end up like Skinon's example...!

mateysmum I fear you could be right, and promise to share more details as I get them! Atm I don't know all that much, but am committed to going to the whole thing with DH or travelling in the car with dd for 7 hours alone if I was to only to go for part of the 'event'. Dd is deffo invited but I'm actually one of those parents who would secretly be please by a 'no kids' wedding as I could leave her with the grandparents and I'm sure she'd much prefer that than all the car travel.

OP posts:

Osmiornica · 07/04/2015 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zipzap · 07/04/2015 18:36

Definitely make sure that you get a hotel room. In fact, if dh is best man and has a baby then I'd be making sure that he got early dibs on booking a hotel room. Maybe let the bride and groom, parents/GPs of B&G get first dibs, but you should definitely be in there before the invites are issued to the masses and have your room booked before everybody else gets a chance.

And at least if you have your dd you have an excuse for opting out of bits due to her being tired/over excited//etc so make sure you take enough with you to ensure your hotel room is well stocked with food and treats for you both, plus a full kindle/ipad etc to MN on/other things for you to do... Then you get the best of both worlds - if it's fun, you get to stay. If not - you can stride off!

TracyBarlow · 07/04/2015 18:48

Went to one of these. All food and drink was provided. What actually happened was the the bride's aunt had made / bought all the food herself in advance as a wedding present. Everything was just reheated crap. Think chicken nuggets and frozen chips, budget spirits and cheap wine from the cash and carry, 'bargains' that she picked up in the pound shop, rola cola. unbranded weird cereals, long life milk. There were 70 guests. For the BBQ she bought 70 chippolata sausages and 70 pieces of bread. I could go on.

I'm no snob. I love a chicken nugget. But I would much rather have just paid for a hotel for two nights and not have had to camp in the rain while pretending to have fun.

soontobemumofthree · 07/04/2015 18:49

If you have a hotel room/ b&b / cottage. You can easily attend for some parts and a 1 year old is perfect excuse to miss any other bits if it's too much. "I think x looks a bit tired/ thirsty/etc see you at dinner" could it be like a weekend away and a wedding rolled into 1? Your DH can spend more time with guests.

Unexpected · 07/04/2015 18:51

How can you have a formal wedding with giant jenga and camping? Where are people expected to get ready if it is going to be dressy? How are you supposed to stay warm in October in a tent, while still looking good for the wedding?

BackforGood · 07/04/2015 18:58

Think it depends on so many things.
Pre dc (or if I had someone to leave dc with for a weekend) it sounds marvellous..... Well, did until you started mentioning things like camping, even before you mentioned camping in October

I'd definitely get dh to find out more about the timetable / plans, and then see if grandparents really are willing to have dc for the weekend. Then I'd start looking on line for local B&Bs, or hotels

maliaki · 07/04/2015 19:07

Could be great fun...could be really dragged out and boring. I'd go for a hotel room or glamping.

fatlazymummy · 07/04/2015 19:12

Not surprised you're dreading it.
If you really feel obligated to attend for the entire weekend I'd book a hotel room.
Then you can spend the day playing jenga ,and sleep in a proper bed at night. I wouldn't be camping in October, nights are getting cold by then ,even if the days are warm. Apart from that it might be fun, who knows? I'd just try and keep an open mind and enter into the spirit.

Bogeyface · 07/04/2015 19:20

Leave DD with grandparents for the weekend, and book a room.

Make both of these conditions of you going to DH, otherwise he is on his own. Nothing would induce me to camp in October, even less for a wedding.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 07/04/2015 19:22

Nothing on god's earth could convince me to voluntarily (i.e. absent plague, war or zombie attack) camp in October with a one year old.

expatinscotland · 07/04/2015 19:25

Leave her with grandparents then, but no fucking tent in October. Hire a motorhome at the least to pitch up. If at all possible, a hotel or cottage. Even a campervan better than a tent in October.

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