AIBU to believe there is no baby on earth who is "too heavy to carry" at six months?

[GoogleyEyes]

AIBU to believe there is no baby on earth who is "too heavy to carry" at six months?

Too heavy for a crappy carrier with no waist support and marketable but unergonomic design, definitely.

Too heavy to carry full stop - absolutely not.

Full disclosure - I still carry my 3yo on occasion, much easier to sling than piggy back when her legs get tired.

I never wanted to 'wear my babies' I like to dress well and look sexy with heels and a baby sling is definatly unattractive.

And who the actual fuck gives a fuck who goes what with their babies?

I couldn't give a crap how you carry your baby op. My 4 were all way over 9 pounds born so not carrying them. No way.

You may find you change your attitude as your kids get older. Kids have a habit of biting smug parents on their arses. .

I do occasionally use a sling for my 7 month old when I'm just popping to the shop or somewhere difficult with the pushchair. I do prefer the pushchair though. I don't care whether others carry or push their children

I do agree that 'baby wearers' and attachment parent types can appear very preachy to other parents.

DD was too heavy for me to carry from a few months old. Believe what you like.

I have chronic back problems and much as I wanted to carry her, it caused me too much pain. Can't see what the fuck it's got to do with anyone else, frankly, so I'm finding it bizarre that how other people transport their babies matters to you so much.

I saw a documentary a while back from the States where parents didn't use any nappies and just let their toddlers shit on the floor.

The woman said it was make the baby feel free and understand their bodies better.

Silly cow. You write a parenting book and make it as daft as you like and some nutters somewhere will follow it religiously.

really?

does anyone really give two hoots about this?

Some babies are too heavy for some mothers to carry. Does that help?

I carried dd2 round all the time until she was about 18 months, as she hated the buggy. Even did household chores with her in the sling.

Ds I didn't carry in the sling as a baby as I did something to my neck in labour and had a stiff neck for most of the first 6 months which I didn't want to exasserbate. (can't spell that, but never mind!)

However he became a very carrying child (due to difficulty hearing so he wanted to be close to my mouth to hear) and I carried him a lot until he was about 6yo.

Unfortunately about 18 months ago I pulled some muscles in my back and even now they are still sensitive, so if I carry something heavy for even a short period it can bring back stiffness/pain. I probably would manage a newborn, but I wouldn't want to risk carrying round even a 3 month old (or the weight mine were by 3 months) for long.

Also carrying ds aged 6yo, I'd been saying for about 3 years that shortly he'd be too heavy. I guess I got stronger gradually from carrying him, wheras if I'd suddenly had to pick him up aged 4yo and carry him a distance I probably would have said too heavy.

Yes, never quite "got" the evangelical babywearing thing. I think I hit peak eyeroll when I read someone talking about how sorry they were for a poor baby traumatically separated from its mother by being put in a buggy.

I used a sling (well, slings) a lot with DS1 because he loved it, did it less with DS2, it was just a means of getting the baby around, not a "lifestyle". Buggy was useful in some circumstances as described upthread (needed to carry a load of stuff, wished child to nap somewhere I wouldn't drop cake crumbs on them, etc.), sling in others. I felt similarly about breastfeeding - I fed both boys well into toddlerhood (still feeding the 2.5 year old) but still find myself edging away nervously from people whose entire identity seemed to be wrapped up in "proud breastfeeding mama" or whatever.

I see you've modified your stance OP, but really, that first post drips with ableism.

I'm still not sure that there are at six month olds who are physically too big / heavy for someone who hadn't got any health issues to carry, though, assuming a decent carrier.

Am I carrying this child for 10 minutes, an hour, all day?

Am I carrying them up a hill, on the flat, over rough terrain?

Am I also carrying other things?

Am I large, tall, short or petite?

Is my baby large, tall, short or petite?

Although in good health am I an active person normally?

Am I carrying in good weather or poor weather?

YABU and more to the point, why does everyone have to justify whether they carry their child or not.

Does 'because their too heavy' have to be questioned?

Surely its polite speak for 'No I can't be fucked with carrying my child as I have a perfectly good pushchair. Now fuck off and stop trying to harass me into using one because I'm really not fucking interested'?

My children would never do that helpful monkey cling thing, they were like carrying sacks of potatoes - I can honestly say it was not an enjoyable experience carrying them anywhere (other than for very short spells obvs)

That plus the fact I'm a short arse and they were 9lb plus at birth, that window of comfortable 'baby wearing' was very small. And if someone decided to get all angry and judgemental and force a sling on me I would have told them to stick it up their arse.

I am sure you are right OP. But with a csection and a ginormo-baby I just didn't want to.

leedy Hilarious!! 'Evangelical' is exactly the right word for every conversation about baby wearing I've been subjected to

I have a slipped disc so no way I could carry my babies long distances over about 4/6 months.

You are being very judgey and unreasonable!!!

Evangelical indeed is the term. Also applies to some ERF car seat owners. - NOW WAIT! I KNOW THEY CAN BE SAFER, and that things are a-changing now, but in 2010 I had pity poured on me and rubbish fb posts (nothing official at that time) shared a-plenty.

But, just because you spent £300 on one doesn't mean everyone else can, so why the eff do you care so much about my car set up? So long as a child is in a seat that meets legislation and not rolling about like a pea in a whistle then mind your business please!

My just turned 6mo nephew is enormous. He's heavy to sit on my lap let alone carry. I'm not good woth weights, too much of my own. So I wouldn't put him in a sling if he was mine. Same as I didn't put mine in slings either. I found them heavy. So shoot me

I used a sling and pushed a double buggy with twins in it. DS3 was a brute as well.

Past 6 months I couldn't have done that, even with a decent sling. Occasionally, but not for long periods of time. He's three now and I can only carry him for about a minute. Either he's heavy or I'm as weak as a kitten!

Jesus in a cabbage van....... of all the things I feel guilty about (disposable nappies, not being able to breastfeed, having crippling PND and being dysfunctional).... now I have to feel guilty because I used a fucking buggy?

FWIW, I have a bad back... multiple slipped discs over my lifetime that have required hospital stays and a fusion. There aint no damned way I was carrying a baby no matter how old.

My work bag with laptop, iPad, folders, chargers, purse, makeup etc etc is not literally "too heavy to carry". But it is "too heavy to carry unless I absolutely have to."

Just because someone could technically physically carry their 6mo around everywhere doesn't mean they should if there is a perfectly sensible option allowing them not to have to.

Pushchairs are brilliant. Not only can you put child in, you can avoid having to carry any bags/coats/drinks/other paraphernalia completely, and can load up with shopping as well. Fantastic!

Also, so shoot me..... DS was a bolter and stayed in his buggy until nearly 4 years old. Bloody brilliant for hanging the shopping over the handles and then getting on the bus. Now he is nearly 5 it is much more difficult. I need a hand for his hand, a hand for the shopping and the purse and the bus ticket.

I fucked my back moving a patient - I don't do anything that could possibly make it worse.

DH liked using various slings - mei teis & a connecta were his favourites I think. I hated them ... hot, constraining, uncomfortable, impractical, I was way too paranoid about them choking etc to do a back carry, I fall over a lot & they aren't particularly attractive, oh & I don't consider pouch slings to be safe. But the main issue was that I breastfed & the faff of getting them into/out of a sling/whatever to feed is far greater than in/out of a pushchair ... and of course as soon as they were smooched up against my boobs (another very attractive look that) they wanted to feed constantly.

It's incredible to some that I managed without though!

Oooh goody, another thing to feel guilty about! Now....Do I file this one before or after not co sleeping or not giving a toss about attachment parenting...?

Thrre are plenty of reasons to not use a sling. I think they're great but I'm certainly not going to have a baby strapped to me 24/7 like an appendage thankyouverymuch.

Maybe you're wearing a fabulous frock, or a smart suit?
Maybe you want to park the buggy in the snow with the other buggies and leave baby outdoors for a healthy nap ( at minus twenty five in the winter, perfectly ok here) while you have coffee and cake?
Maybe your back hurts?

Or maybe, and this I know is absolutely off the wall, so bear with me... Maybe you just don't want to?

I'm constantly amazed at how snide people get about parenting. Breastfeed or don't. Your choice. Co sleep or don't, your call. Cry it out or don't, your descision.

Reminds me of that quote "academic politics are only so vicious because the stakes are so low..."

oh & no car & multiple small children means a pushchair is 100x more useful than a sling ... even in London!

I also didn't realise not using a sling for very long/very much was something I was supposed to feel guilty/inadequate about. Missed that memo, thank goodness!

Flug - def not here. 4 flights of stairs to London flat, no lift, need to use tube daily. No car. X2 under 15 months and a sling and one walking still easier