AIBU to believe there is no baby on earth who is "too heavy to carry" at six months?

[GoogleyEyes]

AIBU to believe there is no baby on earth who is "too heavy to carry" at six months?

Too heavy for a crappy carrier with no waist support and marketable but unergonomic design, definitely.

Too heavy to carry full stop - absolutely not.

Full disclosure - I still carry my 3yo on occasion, much easier to sling than piggy back when her legs get tired.

Sometimes I used to carry my babies in my arms for very short journies. Otherwise they went in their pram/buggy.
Slings never interested me, OP, let alone borrowing one from the 'sling library'. I don't think they interest the vast majority of other parents in my area, either. I have very rarely seen any babies carried in slings. But if it worked for you thats lovely, but no need to get irate on other people's behalf.

I loved my sling - it was an Ellaroo and I carried dc3 on my back when he had good head control. I do remember him being too heavy about 6 months though. Ive just checked his red book and he was 27lb!. He was exclusively breast fed so have no idea why he was so huge!

You have no idea what the reson is from "too heavy"

"too heavy" because she's got a bad back or whatever.

I know sling wearers are very keen on it. That's great. But why so evangelical about it. Puts me right off.

She doesn't want to carry. That's her right and none of your business

Also lots of people do have those Baby Bjorn type carriers which are only designed to carry til about 3-6 months anyway.

And my kids were too big/heavy to carry on my front at 6 months, so if that's the only option then it's not surprising.

OP is it that you have asked someone with a 6mo why they don't use a sling and they have responded that the baby is too heavy?

If so, do you think it maybe that it is their stock response to the question whereas actually they just may not want to / it not suit them for a variety of reasons / bad back / prefer using the pram etc?

When people "helpfully" to suggest alternative ways of parenting, I no longer feel I have to justify why I prefer not to go along with their suggestion but I think I probably did when DC was 6mo.

You may not mean to be judgmental OP but you seem to believe that if given enough slings to try they will come round to your way of thinking. You do come across as evangelical. If you like using slings I can't bring myself to use "sling" as a verb then that's fine but not everyone parents the same way and that is also fine.

who cares really how other people carry their babies? Not my business!

But carry where?

If you mean carry your six month old around with you at all times to stop them crying then yabu, I would have found it a nightmare to be weighed down with an extra 20lb or whatever it is day and night.

I stopped using a sling for going out and about with my babies when they were about 4 or 5 months old and were happy to go in a pushchair. And they never ever lived in the sling. Would put them in baby seat in supermarket trolley, bouncy chair or cot or lying on the floor at home.

Life suddenly became a LOT easier and I felt lighter and less like a beast of burden when I ditched the sling .

maybe you need to get out more? and not to the sling library!

It's not the 6mo that's too heavy, it's all the associated stuff I've always had to carry with them - changes of clothes for the poonamis, nappies, wipes, snacks, water etc. I always seem to have tons of stuff with me and quite frankly, may keep using the buggy until my youngest is a teenager just so I have somewhere to put it all.

I really liked my stretchy sling when my baby was small and it was a mild spring/Autumn. In the hot summer, it was a nightmare. When it rained it was impossible. When the baby got bigger and fought ferociously against getting in and then howled into my face until I let him out, it wasn't that useful anymore.

I really like the idea of slings and have found them invaluable on some occasions for a certain stage of my babies' lives. But in practice, I have had a lot more use for the buggy.

yabu. Some people have health problems or aren't very fit.

fwiw I can still carry my tall 8yo.

try carrying my 6 month old, hes huge its like picking up a dead weight. hes 24lbs and gone off the centiles. its much easier to carry my 2 year old who's a couple of pounds heavier.

When you say 'too heavy to carry' what type of carrying are you talking about, anyway, OP?

eg: I have a 6mo and a sling I can carry him in all morning round the house if I need to, but I would still say he is 'too heavy' for me to carry if I wanted to go on a hill walk, for example - because the extra weight would tire me out more than I would find acceptable.
Similarly he is now 'too heavy to lift' when he is strapped into his car seat -even though I suspect I could miraculously get the whole thing out of the house in a fire pretty sharpish if I needed to - because in everyday life I have no desire to risk damage to my wrists or back by trying to lift something quite heavy even though it might be within the limits of my physical ability.

Do you actually mean 'to heavy to carry' literally as in, too heavy to lift off the ground and move at all, or do you have a minimum time/distance in mind in your OP?

Artandco they don't get lighter in arms more they are fine to carry in arms for short bursts at home for example.
I've never struggled to push a buggy on a beach, in the woods, at the doctors, dentist, generally am able to find a lift in place of stairs and if not do the carrying or bumping thing, have no friends who live in flats (well one but it's ground floor), I have been able to get my buggy on a train, bus and to the gate of a plane. Very occasionally when I had a double buggy I found it hard to manoeuvre around smaller shops but would leave the buggy and my DC in a suitable place.

I did use slings but mostly for short periods, and only with babies. Mine have all been really good walkers and never really ask for carries etc. Two of my DC hated being in a sling, they squirmed and cried. They also hated being swaddled. I didn't really enjoy carrying them in one for long either, I got too hot very quickly and found it like being heavily pregnant again and felt quite cumbersome.
There is no sling library near me, the nearest was an hours bus ride and held to close to school pick up so I never made it.

I find it easier to explain with a reason like too heavy than go into the myriad of reasons with a sling enthusiast. My sister is the same. She has epilepsy and can't use a sling incase she has a seizure, she'd rather not tell people that though.

YABU and I'm sure you've got lots more suggestions on how we're parenting wrongly. Please share those too, I wouldn't want you to keep all that anger inside.

I can carry any of my dcs if the need arises and for varying distances.

However, slings were only in vogue for the last two. For both pgs I had crippling spd and once they were out that carried on so that using the sling even for short periods was really quite painful as the relaxin continues to be over produced for some time post partum. By six months, the muscles that you would expect a parent to have developed over that time using slings simply weren't there so, for me, my babies were too heavy.

If you had asked me why I wasn't using a sling I would have told you they were too heavy. And you would have judged me OP

Haha how can slings only just be 'in vogue' the last few years?
You do realise prams have only existed around 150 years? Even then wealthy only.

Slings were around in various forms since the existence of humans.. They have been 'in vogue' for about 10,000 years

that is true artandco, I remember the African mums in South London would tie their babies to their backs with a length of fabric. the babies invariably looked really happy.

I've always used a pram/pushchair with my dcs. I've never wanted to have them in a sling and it drive me nuts when a friend who loves having her dcs in a sling would go on and on and on about how I should get a sling. I get hot very quickly and can think of nothing worse than having a baby strapped to me even if the baby in question is my lovely snuggly newborn.

As for no 6 month old being too heavy to be carried, my 8 week old was too heavy for me to carry at times due to having two slipped discs.

Plus not everyone wants to carry their baby in a sling no matter how great or comfortable it is.

Baby Wearing is possibly the most ridiculous phrase I've ever heard. I tried DS in a sling thing, I kept dunting him off cupboards, shut drawers/the fridge door using him, dropped crumbs on his head and would yawn and gleek all over him.

At 6 months he was very happy in his buggy, looking at the world, bot my sweaty breasts (devoid of milk btw)

Do you feel at me?

I put DD in a sling until I tripped over and fell on her. She suffered a skull fracture and 2 brain bleeds. The sling was slung. Unless you back carry they can seriously throw out your centre of gravity.

Also, prolonged carrying does not protect a prolapse.

That's a good point, jelly.

I imagine a bf young baby being really easy to take everywhere in a sling because you hardly need to take any other stuff with you.

I did take my ff 3mo in a sling/carrier into London one day, as it seemed the best way of doing it. It probably was still easier than taking a tank of a pram we had at that stage, but I remember having an awful back the next day less from carrying the baby on my front than from having to carry a bag with all our stuff in as well.

Ditto a toddler, who seems to somehow need far more stuff than a baby ever did.

Each to their own. I don't think the OP is BU to think generally that there might be people who want to keep using a sling/carrier and can't find the right one as their baby gets heavier. It's just U if someone thinks that 'baby-wearing' is the best thing to do.

Pram/buggy all the time for me - slings don't half crease your outfit

Slings and breastfeeding and cloth nappies bring out the "but why can't you??" worst in some people.

I think I am a bit guilty of this. Would never ever presume it is my business to ask why somebody doesn't want to do one of those things (see also: home birth, home ed, tongue tie) and would never criticise someone for not doing them, but the fact remains there are a hell of a lot of myths and weird beliefs that people take as total gospel about all of these things and a lot of people dismiss it out of hand because of something they've heard which isn't even necessarily true, or a bad experience they've had one time which isn't at all representative.

I just think that's a bit of a shame. I couldn't care less which way anybody chooses but to think that an option isn't open to you when it might have been just seems to push buttons in me and it's like I'm on a mission to make sure people have all possible info to make a choice. Then it's hard to get the balance right. You can give all of the info "just in case" and make it sound overcomplicated or come across as patronising, so it's best to ask. But then if you do ask you're accused of dissing anybody who has chosen not to or making people feel defensive or feeling they have to justify their choice. I didn't, I just wanted to help. :(

I am a bit less bothered about it now DS is older, but when he was little it seemed SO important. I don't know why

Some babies don't like slings, DS screamed everytime I tried using it but no, I doubt any 6 month old is actually too heavy to carry, I discovered yesterday I can still carry my 11 year old if I really have to (he twisted his ankle in the middle of a field) however I still wouldn't want a 6 month old strapped to me all day and despite living on the 2nd floor with no lift have never had enough difficulty getting a pushchair anywhere to make me think a sling would be easier, especially as I don't drive so being able to chuck shopping under the buggy was way easier than carrying a baby and bags