AIBU to believe there is no baby on earth who is "too heavy to carry" at six months?

[GoogleyEyes]

AIBU to believe there is no baby on earth who is "too heavy to carry" at six months?

Too heavy for a crappy carrier with no waist support and marketable but unergonomic design, definitely.

Too heavy to carry full stop - absolutely not.

Full disclosure - I still carry my 3yo on occasion, much easier to sling than piggy back when her legs get tired.

Gotcha keturahlee, thank you! Never heard of tt until my friend's baby had it and now seems like every second baby has it!

I would not have been able to carry 6 month old DS in a sling due to ileosacral joint problems meaning my hips are slightly off balance. I get backache very quickly walking especially on hard surfaces like pavements. Pushchair worked for both of us.

Yabu. What has someone's choice of how they transport their baby got to do with you?

My ds was too heavy to carry at 6 months. He was nearly 9lbs when he was born and continued to grow at an alarming rate, so much so I was told to put him on a diet at 8 months old even though his height and weight were in relation to each other.

I am only 5" and weigh under 7 stone, I could carry him for short bursts but long distance/hours on end, not a chance. The length and weight of him would have serious restricted my movement.

Anyway he was walking at 9 months old so he was in the buggy and I encouraged him to walk where possible, absolutely no need to carry him.

IABU

Also, sorry for disappearing - 3yo fell 2m off a climbing frame on to her head and so I had other things to think about (she seems ok now).

I was going to say

*I think you are wrong.

If you have carried your baby in a sling from birth, you have gradually built up the strength and fitness to do it so you do not notice them getting heavier. To suddenly start carrying a 20lb baby is an entirely different thing.*

^^ this

But soupdragon got their first

Hope they're ok - mine did the same not too long ago. No lasting damage.

Yes - soupdragon and Jackieharris - now I'm super hench. My dp who cycles 10miles there and back to work each day struggles with the sling for my 75th percentile dd!

I normally hate the phrase 'why do you care?', when its used for every parenting decision (after all, we all judge a bit don't we?) but it's so appropriate on this thread.

It's not like not using a sling is a safety issue or anything (I'm just thinkin about things like car seats, or very early weaning). Sling use is 100% a lifestyle choice, so why are you bothered about what others do?

It's an indication of deep insecurity, and a symptom of black and white thinking. If the individual has to concede that others' decisions might be just as valid and there may not be one 'all good' position to hold, it opens the door to the idea that their choices might not always be absolutely the best and most perfect. That's too frightening a prospect.

"Why in god's name are 2.5 and 3 year olds still being carried? Barring any disabilities, they should be walking. Our kids are so babied these days that it's rather pathetic."

In fairness, sometimes a 2.5 year old (mine anyway) is quite happy to walk, nay, run. The problem is that he will often go in completely the opposite direction to where you want to go/keep randomly stopping to look at rocks/start climbing other people's fences/etc.

Because of this, even though he likes walking every so often he goes in the buggy (presumably under similar circs to a toddler sling-user using a sling), not because I want to infantilize him but because I need to get somewhere on time and/or not want to keep yanking him out of traffic. He also still takes a midday nap and it's handy to have the buggy if he gets tired.

It must be nice to be such a perfect parent with such a tractable child who can be told to just walk nicely beside mum...

I see more 2 year olds in buggies than walking tbh, unless you have a very obedient 2 year old and only have to go short distances with little time constraints!

It's because of people like the OP why New Mums feel awkward about using Slings etc.

My DD (WC Liverpool Teen Mum) mostly uses one, but doesn't want to be thought of as a similar person to the OP, judgemental Smug etc. she sick of the hippy connotation, she applied to go on a show about BF and Sling using, to show that you can do these things and be sane/rational.

We live in an area where we have African Women using fantastically bright bits of material to tie their Babies/Toddlers to them, so the only people who comment on slings are generally putting a racist slant on it.

This is one of those "Angsts" that I only encounter on MN and thankfully not in RL.

Butt the fuck out of other peoples lives, unless someone vulnerable is suffering.

Yes, this thread has become horrible. Use one, don't use one, who cares. Don't bash another person's choices, though.

Birds, unfortunately I have come across this kind of angst in RL all too often

I don't drive. Sometimes I carry my nearly three year old when he's fed up of walking, he's the middle one of three under six. I seriously doubt that there are many three year olds walking six miles a day in all weathers without needing some breaks... Be those in buggy, sling, bus or taxi.

This post reminds me of a lot of posts I have read on here and elsewhere saying 'no one can make you feel bad, you only feel bad if you have underlying feelings of guilt about c sections, drug free birth, bf, FF etc etc which is all your problem blah, blah'. Eh no actually this post and others like it are designed to try to make other people feel bad so that the op of the thread can feel superior. They never consider the vast range of factors that feed into individual women's circumstances and choices, a lot of which end up not being choices at all.

The mistake this thread makes in the superiority game is that you actually need to select something that people actually give a shit about rather than baby wearing which lets face it is a complete and utter non issue.

Interesting how so many people on this thread wade in full of vitriol to condemn the op, 'baby wearers' and slings - much more so than I've seen anyone criticise anyone for not choosing to carry their child in a sling. Or for any of the other parenting choices mentioned.

Like these seemingly mythical posters who criticise mums for not breastfeeding. Never seen it once. But have seen many, many posters being very scathing about 'attachment parenting' choices from people who claim that we shouldn't care how other people do things.

Yes, let's all totally ignore the OP saying that she used a buggy too and thinks that health reasons/needing somewhere to put shopping/just plain not wanting to are all excellent reasons for not using a sling. She's a mean sling-pushing militant judgy hippy who's making us feel guilty!

I have an Ergo and a buggy, use them about half the time each for 12mo chunker DD. Have finally hit a point when she's just too heavy to comfortably carry in Ergo front carry for long, though, which is a pain because she's fine in the back carry but I can't work out how to do it without two pairs of hands to get her in. Is there a trick to this or do my arms just bend wrong?

Am also envious of all the people saying "well I didn't want to use a sling because I didn't want to be attached to my baby 24/7!" Yeah neither did I, but the baby had other ideas...

All the 'smug', 'evangelical', 'judgy' buggy users spreading their mainstream parenting ideas... ;-)

Ayewhe if you cannot read anything judgemental in the OP it does not surprise me you have never seen other judgemental posts.

It does not extend to one side only of any debate I have seen either it for sections vs natural birth, formula versus bf, it is just this context I find truely baffling. I have done all of these things ff, extended bf, slings, sections, VBACs. Sometimes I made choices as to what I would prefer but for some there were no real choices just circumstances that led to an outcome. For someone not to see that someone might find baby wearing a 6 mth old difficult or even something they don't want to do for whatever reason is . I am all for fighting these things at the cultural level eg improvements to bf support, sling libraries, education on different birth outcomes but doing it at the individual level by questioning others circumstances is more often than not unkind.

Which is what I'm pointing out - all the very personal criticisms and judgements aimed at the op and other sling users from others on this thread. It's really nasty reading and goes way beyond the tone and content of the op and her subsequent moderation and justification of her points. All from people who claim they couldn't care less!

I am a sling user (or was) and I still think evangelical sling users are weird.

(not specifically talking about the OP, but I have definitely encountered people who get a bit glassy-eyed on the subject - using a sling solution to all ills, vague or not so vague disdain for buggies, etc.)

(and agree that the OP did clarify in her later posts but her initial foray did come across as "people who say their babies are too heavy for slings are JUST MAKING EXCUSES", with the implication she was going round asking people WHY WEREN'T THEY USING A SLING, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE or wondering why every non-sling-using mother she met wasn't using one because THEY'RE SO USEFUL AND AMAZING AND NURTURING, etc. etc. )