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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...To Feel Upset by My God-Pusher Neighbour...

88 replies

FranglaisMaman · 04/04/2015 23:41

My NDN called round earlier to ask me to keep an eye on her house while they're away on hols, she also brought a toy that she had made for my DD as an Easter present/thank you for looking after the house. Very kind.

Anyway, she has launched into religious monologues in the past when we've been alone, spouting Gospel at me, so I know she is a Christian, believes the bible etc. I'm not a believer so I always just maintained a polite "smile and nod" respectful stance and hoped she would change the subject even though I found it a bit unnerving. Anyway tonight she started talking about how the bible is gospel and how we are all sinners and Jesus died for our sins etc, I said "...is what you believe yes, I however do not". She then said "oh no, not what I believe, it is GOSPEL, it is fact, it's in the bible". I said "Ok but for me I feel the bible is just hearsay evidence" etc and explained I am an agnostic/atheist and can we please just agree to disagree and leave it there. I probably shouldn't have got into a discussion about it but I am quite an open-minded person and was happy to hear her out and then tell her I'm sorry but I just don't believe it. I'm just cynical of how she/Christians claim that all bad that is done in the world is done by Satan and all the good is done by God. I said it's very convenient. I wasn't being obnoxious or inflammatory, just telling her where I stand, but she keeps lecturing and lecturing me with her spiel. She told me you're either a sheep or a goat, and you don't want to follow the idiot goats, you need to be one of God's sheep.

The cheap shot was this, she said: "Well if this little one (pointing at my DD who was clawing at her for a cuddle) got knocked down and killed on that road out there tomorrow, it wouldn't matter then, because you're not a believer". I can't remember the exact words now. I said "I would think its a pretty cruel God to take my precious daughter away from me". She then backed down and said my DCs will have a place in heaven anyway because they are innocents in God's eyes and will rise again with God and the believers but I will be damned and be separated from my children because I have not accepted God into my life. She was getting quite heated by the end and was in my face, pointing etc, it was getting to the point where I was going to have to ask her leave.

I found the whole thing very upsetting and was shaking after she left, as I felt very victimised. My DH works away and I am home alone with a 4 month old and a 22 month old, I'm too shattered to know what day it is let alone have the answers for a theological debate :-)

I cried about it after she left, foolishly perhaps, maybe the bit about my DD dying touched a nerve, or maybe someone telling you you're hell-bound is just upsetting in itself. The whole thing was so awkward I'm dreading facing her again! I feel like I don't want to accept any of her cards/gifts for my DCs in future because she has undone all of her kindness by being so aggressive about her religious views, I don't want to encourage her into our lives.

AIBU to feel upset about her coming into my home and trying to force her religious beliefs down my throat and convert me, especially while I'm alone here and vulnerable?

OP posts:
FranglaisMaman · 04/04/2015 23:43

Oh, and she told me that I am a believer deep down in my heart, it's just that my head has been brainwashed by people all my life into not believing and that she will keep praying for me anyway :-/

OP posts:
WannabeLaraCroft · 04/04/2015 23:45

That's awful Thanks

Hope you're OK now?

WannabeLaraCroft · 04/04/2015 23:46

Oh and YANBU at all.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 04/04/2015 23:48

YANBU. I respect people's right to their faith and respect people who enjoy their faith.

I do not respect people who push it at others and disrespect the beliefs of others.

maras2 · 04/04/2015 23:48

Let God keep an eye on her house.

MsHighwater · 04/04/2015 23:50

I would keep your distance, OP. Your neighbour is not loopy BECAUSE she is Christian but her loopiness happens to take that form. No rational Christian (I count myself as one) would behave in this way not least because it is, as you have found, counter productive.

Just please don't think that is typical of Christians, because it's not.

iamEarthymama · 04/04/2015 23:51

Oh love you!
She is odd!
I am not a Christian, in fact she would have me burning in hell as I am an Earth-based Pagan, but that sort of hectoring isn't normal, even for evangelical Christians.

Next time say, oh sorry we will be very busy, best if you ask someone else to watch the house.

Then as you go in and out from now on , say, Can't stop, in a rush! Don't engage.

I am so cross with the baggage, shall I come around with all my Goddess stuff, so when she calls in to thank you the house smells of incense, and there are Goddness symbols everywhere, and we are chanting..?

iamEarthymama · 04/04/2015 23:53

I would be past and tamping, by the way!

cookiefiend · 04/04/2015 23:54

That is ridiculous behaviour. YANBU. I presume by watching her house you just mean keeping an eye on it from over the road not going in- I hope so. Once she is back do not engage her again. If she speaks to you just say that you respect everyone's beliefs and opinions, but no one has a right to speak to you like that particularly in front of your DD and you do not wish to have anything to do with her in the future.

I hope you feel better now. What a looper.

ThingummyJigg · 04/04/2015 23:54

How very VERY unChristian of her.

Where in the Bible does it say 'Be a fucking bastard to thine neighbour and say vile things about her children?' Is it in the gospel of farage or clarkson?

She is not on the fast track to the pearly gates with that behaviour.

May the myxomatosed Easter Bunny lie decaying on her back step till she gets home from her holiday.

But she's away for Easter, what a blessing, maybe there is a God after all. Easter Wink

UncertainSmile · 04/04/2015 23:57

I'd keep well away from her, she's a nutter.

FranglaisMaman · 04/04/2015 23:58

Thanks guys, helpful reading your comments. maras2 that made me LOL!

Spent the rest of the evening crying on/off and overthinking my beliefs/lack thereof. Ironically, after it happened I texted a very good friend of mine who runs the local playgroup (in the church!) and who is married to the vicar. She came over, drank coffee with me, played with my kids, hugged me and said NDN is totally out of order. I told her that she and her husband are examples of the ones giving Christianity good PR! :-D

Oh, should also add, after my friend left, was putting kids to bed and NDN came back for round 2! :-O

OP posts:
happybubblebrain · 04/04/2015 23:58

If someone said that around my daughter I would avoid them completely, I wouldn't even say hello to her again. Don't feel you have to be polite now. I get annoyed when I hear people in the town preaching about God and I wish my child didn't have to hear it.

wreckingball · 04/04/2015 23:58

Gordon Bennett!

Tell her to do one.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/04/2015 00:00

Yanbu she was well out of order, no true Christian woukd do and say such awful things Sad. I would really avoid her like the plague.

ihatelego · 05/04/2015 00:00

oh God that sounds horrific! Not much advice I can offer but i hope you feel ok, plenty of crazy people about and sometimes i think religion gives them an outlet for some pretty vile behaviour, don't let it get to you Flowers

MsHighwater · 05/04/2015 00:01

FranglaisMaman, can your friend's vicar husband help you out with some retorts to shut down your neighbour?

Box5883284322679964228 · 05/04/2015 00:02

Next time she raises Christianity, tell her you are not prepared to discuss it with her. Then repeat often when needed

oohnewshoes · 05/04/2015 00:02

This

...To Feel Upset by My God-Pusher Neighbour...
NancyDroop · 05/04/2015 00:05

Oh my that is so out of order. Luckily your LO's are too small to be frightened by her tirade but later they won't be.

Avoid avoid avoid!!!

What happened during round 2?

Aeroflotgirl · 05/04/2015 00:05

Did you tell her to feck off op? Yes your friends are great exampleas of Christians. Ndn is just nasty and using religion as an outlet.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/04/2015 00:06

Goodone ohnewshoes Grin

FranglaisMaman · 05/04/2015 00:06

My good friend also said that what NDN said is counter-productive and that how dare she say those things to me. NDN's parting shot was "Why DID you get married in a church then, you should've gone to a registry office hey?" and I said "Because it was the traditional thing to do, hypocritical yes maybe, but we paid enough money for the privilege and the church were quite happy to take my money and be equally as hypocritical". Ohhhh I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut right?! My Christian friend said she had no right to question why I got married in a church, she said she doesn't know what I believe in private so how dare she thrust her views onto me.

Christian friend said no one is sure of their place in Heaven, you find out if you've done enough when you get there. I put this to NDN during Round 2 and she said "Well she's wrong, because you can be sure of your place in Heaven, I'm guaranteed a place in Heaven because I belief in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and as long as you believe in your heart fully then that guarantees your place in Heaven". She said she only tells me all this because my innocent children will be wandering around during the Second Coming crying for me and wondering where their mummy is, and I will be separated from them because I'm not a believer"........

OP posts:
textfan · 05/04/2015 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FranglaisMaman · 05/04/2015 00:08

Sorry to drip feed but NDN recently got married in a registry office - TO HER THIRD HUSBAND :-D :-D

OP posts: