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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think £300 a month is a lot?

133 replies

Goldenyellowhibiscus · 04/04/2015 22:34

DP has moved in. They have offered to contribute £300 a month to house and bills.

That seems a lot to me especially considering they often buy the food shopping/pay for treats.

They are adamant it's not enough!

Who is right me me

OP posts:
Lilylonglegs · 05/04/2015 00:54

Sounds like a bargain for them!

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/04/2015 02:11

Half the household plus a discussion about kids' expenses if they are just yours and mortgage if you don't think you will marry/be long term/they will have half the assets in the end. 300 quid just sounds arbitrary.

Original poster
Goldenyellowhibiscus · 05/04/2015 06:34

Don't claim tax credits, and I'm not underestimating. I think living costs vary according to the sort of the country :)

OP posts:
Gralick · 05/04/2015 06:45

I don't think it's "sweet". You're adults in an adult relationship, you should be paying half each if your incomes are roughly equal. £300 can't be anywhere near enough.

What happens if she disagrees with you and DC about the reasonable amount of treats & tickets? Please sort all the money stuff out pragmatically; finances can be a huge stumbling block in relationships.

Original poster
Goldenyellowhibiscus · 05/04/2015 06:48

I meant that it was sweet that she wanted to give as much financial help as possible. Her salary is quite good but she is still paying her own mortgage as well.

OP posts:
lougle · 05/04/2015 07:52

This thread is bizarre. Stop using 'they' when you're referring to one person.

WipsGlitter · 05/04/2015 08:02

You need to clarify what your outgoings are first.

jaynebxl · 05/04/2015 08:16

Lots or people have asked this and you still haven't really clarified so it is hard for people to give you a straight answer. Do all your monthly bills (rent or mortgage and utilities) come to £600? If so I want to know how then 300 is fine. If they come to more then more from your do would be good.

Original poster
Goldenyellowhibiscus · 05/04/2015 08:20

I have answered and said around £4-500 a month obviously varying slightly.

I'm sorry if you feel the thread is 'bizarre' and I have tried to be clear.

OP posts:
MaryWestmacott · 05/04/2015 08:24

OK, if your bills are £500 a month, how much do you spend on food a month too? Work that out, set up a joint account, get your DP to put in half (including half for food), and you only use that account for bills or food. If your DP wants to put more than half in, then use that account to save it, but that way you can both clearly see she's putting in more than needed for half the costs - but also means it's saved in a place that's separate from your account so it's clearly 'family money' and you can use it to pay for stuff for the house, or holidays etc.

(I assume if your bills are only £500 a month you have no housing costs, is that because you own outright or because you get HB? If it's HB, then will that stop with your DP moving in? If it's because you own outright, then you are in a fortunate position!)

ToBeeOrNot · 05/04/2015 08:32

Our household costs are 900 a month and that includes food so can see that fixed household costs could be 600 a month so half of that at 300 could be reasonable.

NerrSnerr · 05/04/2015 08:34

The reason why people are questioning is because £4-500 per month is very little. Do you own your property outright?

Artandco · 05/04/2015 08:42

£500 a month for all rent, bills and food? Really? We pay almost that a week for just rent ( small flat). Council tax alone is about £150. Electric, gas, water, heating, Internet, phone. Plus food.

Pipbin · 05/04/2015 08:43

In an ideal world you would split all the household outgoings down the middle.
However, me and DH have a slightly different arrangement as I earn almost twice what DH does. The bills are covered in such a way that we both have the same money left over after all the bills are paid.
You really need to sort this out before she moves in.
£300 might be enough if her share of the rent is £50 but not if its £ 600.

Btw, I couldn't give too hoots about the gender of your partner.

fourteen · 05/04/2015 08:44

I think it depends how much you and your DP earn.

It's not fair to split 50:50 when one earns a lot more than the other.

If you're both happy with £300 then stick to that. What others think doesn't matter.

magoria · 05/04/2015 08:52

I am in a similar situation Golden. DP is moving in temporarily until he finds a place to buy and says he is going to pay £500 a month for bills, food etc.

To him he will be saving loads as currently he is paying £850 rent + all bills etc on top.

For me as he will not be paying towards my mortgage it seems a lot! Especially as he is tighter than me on what utilities he uses and eats.

£500 is a compromise on what he wanted to pay.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 05/04/2015 08:53

If it's more than half your rent/bills/outgoings then it does seem too much. The fairest way would be to add it all up and split it down the middle.
I want to live where you live, our rent alone is more than double your entire outgoings (for a 2 bed!)

Starlightbright1 · 05/04/2015 09:02

I also wonder if you are working out your bills correctly. I pay £400 a month rent and it is HA.. Have you taken into account things like TV licence, house insurance, how are you going to deal with things that break need replacing,

expatinscotland · 05/04/2015 09:08

Too little, IMO.

Original poster
Goldenyellowhibiscus · 05/04/2015 09:09

I don't really budget things breaking into a monthly budget - just replace on an as and when basis. Knowing dp she will probably replace!

I do have low outgoings, yes. I don't have a TV licence as don't have a TV. It's just council tax, gas and electric, insurance, phone and Internet.

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 05/04/2015 09:11

I don't know why people are saying 'well if they lived on their own they'd pay x amount' it doesn't matter. OP isn't supposed to make profit from her partner moving in.

Personally I would work out all bills and come to an amount that way. Perhaps not half though, depends on their wage.

Gralick · 05/04/2015 09:16

The bills are covered in such a way that we both have the same money left over after all the bills are paid.

Thanks for saying that, Pipbin. To me, this is the only fair approach but it seems to be quite unusual.

Original poster
Goldenyellowhibiscus · 05/04/2015 09:21

Yes that's exactly it; she's not moving in as a lodger but someone I love.

OP posts:
misscarlar · 05/04/2015 09:25

i have relatively low outgoings for the area i live in but half my bills comes to £370 that is not including any food or other expenses we have to pay out so yes i thing £300 is very cheap.

bonzo77 · 05/04/2015 09:37

Can't believe the snippyness. Of course DP meant partner. And "they" is the correct pronoun for third person singular without using the sex. It's like "on" in French. I understood immediately and I'm hardly Oxbridge material.

OP do the maths. Decide if what is important is equal contribution or equal disposable income. Decide if you and DP happy her paying for things the kids need (do you get anything from their father?).

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